Are you a worrier?

Serendipitious

I used to be a worrier, but not so much now, so maybe it eases off with time.

I can say, however, that of all the things I used to worry about, none of them actually ever happened, so it was a bit of a waste of time worrying about them.

If it's general worrying, I'd put limits on your worry time - tell yourself you can worry between 2.30 and 3pm for example, then when the worries pop up, tell them you'll think about them at that time.

For family worries, do you have a partner to chat to ?

And for work worries, is there someone at work you can discuss things with?

Anatidaephobia

I have anxiety. I like to plan things and know what's happening anyway, and I'm a perfectionist, but I still worry unnecessarily.

I know that logically and rationally there's no reason to worry - I can rationalise any situation and logically explain why everything is okay and there's no point worrying and even if the worst case scenario were to happen, it's really not that bad anyway because you would just do X, Y and Z to deal with it, etc... I can see the right way and say all the right things but I don't feel it. I feel anxious and I worry regardless.

meritaten

I would echo the suggestion to allow yourself 'worry time'. use that time constructively though. if a situation pops up - then tell yourself you will deal with by 'going to an expert' or 'run and hide'. then tell yourself 'right that's that worry dealt with.
once the brain has decided on 'a plan' you are less likely to worry again about it. if it does pop up again just tell yourself 'yes I will deal with by 'expert' or 'run. and try to visualise that expert telling you everything will be ok - or you hiding and the worry running past and disappearing.
you are training your brain by virtually being a parent to your worries and dealing with them like a childs constant nagging.
otherwise, perhaps hypnosis or relaxation therapy may help?
my mum could make herself physically ill by worrying - and as others have pointed out - 'it may never happen'.

prosaver

happyandcontented wrote: »

I am.



Has anyone managed to train themselves out of this?

I got this book which really changed my life.It makes you see things differently and never ever worry again.:)

however, if you want to look on the internet for help ,
google one at a time, a chapters title (skip 1 and 2)
and it gives you roughly the same ideas.
It will change your way of thinking:):beer:

dirty_magic

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

I know that logically and rationally there's no reason to worry - I can rationalise any situation and logically explain why everything is okay and there's no point worrying and even if the worst case scenario were to happen, it's really not that bad anyway because you would just do X, Y and Z to deal with it, etc... I can see the right way and say all the right things but I don't feel it. I feel anxious and I worry regardless.

This is me exactly! I wish I could be more like OH. I overthink everything; before I do anything I think about everything that could go wrong first. I worry about stuff that hasn't even happened yet, even though I know it probably won't happen. It drives me mad!

athensgeorgia

I'm a worrier, as is my mum and so is my daughter. It's difficult when you are a worrier, you know you shouldn't but you just can't help.

The conversations I have with my daughter about her worries seem to be the same sort of things over and over. When I discuss them with her to me they seem like trivial worries and I try to reassure her but I know what it's like to worry. DH isn't a worrier and sees my worries as trivial and even though I know the majority of them are nothing things, I just can't help it. I think sometimes it's a control thing. I worry about the stuff I can't control even though the consequences aren't usually worth the worry.

tea_lover

I'm generally fine with the big things in life, but drive myself mad stressing about the little things.

I've been made redundant a number of times and have been fine with that. But can easily spend the night awake worrying about what time to leave the house to get a certain train.

Alikay

I definitely like to think through possible solutions to problems which may or may not occur....is that the same as worrying? I know that I've been pretty resourceful whenever a crisis has happened, so it's not necessarily as bad thing, even if I do sometimes lose a bit of sleep exploring potential scenarios!

Pollycat

My elderly mother is a worrier, she's sees everything negatively.

She'll find every possible problem that any situation might throw up and worry constantly.

I can't recall any instance where her worrying has been justified.
I always remind her that we've never had a problem that we've not been able to sort out.

I say 'When I'm running round like a headless chicken, wailing 'OMG! What are we going to do?' then that's the time for you to start worrying.

I find it very wearing, tbh.

OP, I find the subject of this thread quite funny given your username.

prosaver

athensgeorgia wrote: »

I'm a worrier, as is my mum and so is my daughter. It's difficult when you are a worrier, you know you shouldn't but you just can't help.

The conversations I have with my daughter about her worries seem to be the same sort of things over and over. When I discuss them with her to me they seem like trivial worries and I try to reassure her but I know what it's like to worry. DH isn't a worrier and sees my worries as trivial and even though I know the majority of them are nothing things, I just can't help it. I think sometimes it's a control thing. I worry about the stuff I can't control even though the consequences aren't usually worth the worry.

Maybe you like worrying. heres a cheek y thing I found...:D:D

So, (bottom-line now) here’s why you worry. (You’re not gonna’ like this.)

1. Worrying is easier than being proactive. You’re lazy. Yeah, I said it.
2. You think big worries make you a big person. You like the attention. Ouch!
3. You think it’s natural, just the way you operate. It’s not. It’s a pattern, a habit, and it’s destructive.
4. You think worrying equates to caring deeply. Um, nope. Too passive—we’re back to lazy.