A Diary of Reinventing Ourselves

ScotinLondon

I've just started to use shopitize....first shop was this weekend gone. Seems ok, but it is mainly branded goods that is on the app.

Forward_thinking

I was going to use it but thought it looked too fiddly. And as you say, just certain branded goods. Right homework done. House done. Kids happy. Tea done. I'm starving and struggling. Can't wait until 8pm when I get to EAT!!! This is going to save me hundreds!!

getmore4less

If hubby says the months are different then even more important he delivers the cash at the right time no good having and expensive Xmas if the company can't deliver just more debt.

Throw his arguments(excuses) back at him.

He needs to tell you how much money there will be so you can plan .

Get him to write down the compound interest.

In my world if you can't document so others understand it, you don't understand it.

KxMx

Don't give up on Shopitize. I have a quick look before I shop to see if there is money for anything I'd like to try or usually buy. Sometimes there are offers where the product ends up free. Let the pennies pool on there and one day you'll be surprised by a cash pay out.

CheckoutSmart is another app, and ClickSnap is Quidcos and Snap & Save TopCashBacks offering.

COS is run by Quidco so while you can't submit the same receipt to both of those, you can in any other combo.

welshlady33

Also - if you are going to use Amazon on a fairly regular basis - look into Kidstart - only site I know off that gives you cashback for ordering on Amazon :j

getmore4less

I think on the household/groceries you need to do the big hits to get the bill down from the massive high to something sensible, the next step fine tuning, that takes time for much smaller returns which might still be better spent on some other things,

You can get into a bit of a save every penny mode which is fine when you have the time and want a distraction from the bigger things in life(after the ironing).

Forward_thinking

Evening. Thanks for those pointers. Will look into those schemes welshlady. Getmore - you make a very valid point and one I have been thinking too. It's all very well saving 30p on a tin of sweetcorn etc but if I get my act together and get earning I will help our family much more. Perilico also made a valid point - I have been procrastinating too long work wise. Just when I was about to start up I decided to spend yet another year in uni. No more courses now. I have my medals and now it's time to prove it's all been worth it. Probably lack of confidence is partly at play. There is the worry that I won't make it. I need to kick myself into action and I suspect OH thinks part of my economising is an avoidance tactic. That isn't true really - I really want to give our finances a real going over before life gets even busier.

Things not so great tonight. OH's mum is pestering him to buy the car and he is demanding to know what I have told them. Says all of a sudden they are involved and I have obviously been speaking to them which is unacceptable and that's partly why he buffered me from it all. He keeps asking if I have rung up and requested money. Truth is mum rang when I was in tears and we did chat about the situation. Can't tell OH - he would be really unhappy!!!! He is really protective about his financial affairs. I probably did do wrong and should have kept my mouth shut. But I needed to talk to someone and it was before I was a regular on here. Messy.

Forward_thinking

Getmore - you know, you may have hit the nail on your head. It's not something I am consciously aware of but the resonance your statement has made is too loud for it to be insignificant. Thank you for writing that.

Forward_thinking

Not such a great start to the day. Feel grumpy and cross and frustrated and do not feel like passing small talk with OH. It's driving me crazy that we are in such a bad position and he isn't fired up to do anything about it. I asked him if he had thought about when he would ring up about the credit cards, looked at any cars etc? Nothing. And yet he spends hours reading work books and listening to videos on the subject. He is also cross thinking that I have been talking about our financial affairs to his parents and said he can sort it out on his own thank you very much. Said he hasn't decided whether to take them up on the offer yet and actually he is thinking about taking out a lease for £300 a month because at least he would get a new car for that.

I'm feeling resentful which is a new emotion for me. And bitter. Again, a new experience. We are usually rock solid together but I am finding myself wondering if this could be the end of us if this continues. Can't believe this is even entering my head - we have always been great together. But I can't carry on like this and I know only too well the downward spiral of resentment and anger. It's not a good route with a one-way sign most of the time. Need to shake this.

matchboxfull

Forward Thinking, two things come into my mind:

1) Some others have suggested that because your OH earns a lot he almost needs special, softly-softly treatment with regards to your financial situation. He doesn't. He's spending more than he earns. No difference between somebody earning £12k or £120k, if they are spending more than their income they need to change. If they have a family they are putting that family in jeopardy.

2) You are in a partnership. This isn't his money alone. This isn't his experience alone. You have every right to talk to whoever you need to about things that are happening to you. He doesn't get to control that.

I'm so sorry if I am coming over as harsh. I don't mean to. I'm not well so finding it hard to find the right words. I've been following your thread closely and I'm finding myself more and more miffed about the control your husband seems to have over what you are allowed to say, do, and look at. He won't even give you a full picture of the debts.

I'm not saying you should split up. That's not for me to say, of course. But I'm getting increasingly worried about the inequality of power there seems to be in your situation with regards to finances. You don't need to stand for it.