2016 - a year of change

lulabelle

At 1pm yesterday I walked away from a job which caused me to lose my hair, experience depression, anxiety attacks and general bouts of ill health frequently. At several points I scratched my own arms hard, or felt like driving myself into a wall, hoped I would fall down the stairs or develop some non-fatal illness just so I didn't have to go to work.

From 530pm today I will be unemployed.

I felt very strange yesterday afternoon, there were lots of tears and lots of panic as to what the hell I had done - after all, I started out on the path of this career almost 20 years ago. I had spent the last 5 clawing my way up the greasy ladder of a male dominated profession with plenty of blood, sweat and tears along the way. I had got to the point where I was being respected (by most) locally as being good at what I did. I had a title and therefore (which I think is wrong but it's just the way it is) "status" locally. And I walked away from it.

Today I feel a sense of total calm.

I am free from the shackles of litigation. The constant demands from clients, bosses, the court and opposing counsel, people constantly trying to trip you up, the sheer focus on money, billing and getting work through the door. Free from constantly feeling not good enough and being brought down.

And the best thing is (which was unexpected as I had been planning to jump into the unknown and take a good 6 months off) I have another job to go to in 3.5 months time! Came about from me bumping into someone I have fought against many a time and mentioning I would be interested if ever they were looking for someone in a support role (no cases, drafting precedents and articles and keeping other lawyers up to date with developments in the law). One casual coffee and a formal interview with a panel of 3 and they've offered me the job. 4 days a week. Taking a pay cut BUT worked out with their package, if I pro-rated the job I have just left down to 4 days a week, I would be on about the same at the new job.

I am going to embrace the 3.5 months off and whilst I don't want to waste it, I also want to give myself rest.

I got up at 645 today and fuelled up so I can go for a run at nine. Then going to sort out some boxes in the spare room and have lunch with one of the court officials who I am friendly with. I will then come back home and clean for a little while to get the house nice then possibly read or watch some more 'blacklist'. Out for dinner tonight (chinese) with the boy to celebrate my escape.

So, 2016 is going to be a year of change. I am fully ready to embrace the challenges it brings and I am hoping that I prove to have made the right decision.

The other challenge is, of course, going to be to watch the pennies as I am unemployed for several months and when I do go back, it is less money coming in each month so I will have to be more frugal!

lulabelle

So, we were supposed to go out got a chinese last night to celebrate however, I was just shattered after my run - so we got a take out from the same restaurant instead. It was quite MSE really as it meant we actually saved as is a 15% discount on the take out menu. Plus we have some left over for tea tonight. We went to bed at 930! On a friday night! This has been a regular occurrence recently as we are both shattered with all our marathon training.

Did a (in the words of peter kay) "big shop" today - slightly annoyed as was just shy of £100 (or £50 each) - we always go in with a list but always seem to spend a fortune. I don't really understand why. Anyway, I had budgeted £50 so at least it wasn't over that, plus I had budgeted £50 last night but it was £20 something (waiting on receipt from the boy or to see it come up on our joint credit card) so up £30 I suppose!

The weather is poo here so won't be doing much else this morning. Going for a cuppa at a friends at 2 then we have the cinema 645 tonight (already paid for tickets and its my turn to buy the sweets but that won't be much as we don't get many and share a drink) then left over chinese and pizza

tomorrow is a long run towards my marathon training - boy is doing 12 miles, my target is 6-8 miles and a combo of walking/running. I have to go for 90 mins tomorrow. Not looking forward to it!!!! Not yet sure whether will do in morning or early evening, will be weather dependent I think.

apple_muncher

Enjoy your freedom! It'll will be all the sweeter for knowing it has an end.

Re running: I'd go in the morning and get it over and done.

lulabelle

wise words AM. I am thinking the same now. Friend cancelled on me for the cuppa (saves petrol anyway) so am just catching up with reading and diaries instead.

Oh, and reading runner's world magazine to try to find some inspiration!!!!

The boy has got a group of friends together to run with tomorrow. I wish I liked running with others but I much prefer solo with tunes!

Am starting a bookclub though - does anyone else use "Poppy loves"? - trying to find girls to have it with though proving difficult as have had a cull of horrid friends recently which just leaves a few I can be bothered with and some have kids/work too much so might be a bookclub of one - ha ha!

ShiftThisDebt

Lulabelle,

Well done for walking away from the job. Although I never experienced never wanting to go into work I was in a job a few years back which I knew I needed to get out of. It was a leap of faith as I had nothing lined up other than an intention to retrain as a teacher. 3 years later and I'm now in my 2nd year teaching after doing a PGCE. It's the best thing I have ever done. So you totally have done the right thing. Between leaving job and starting training I had 10 months off and got to look after my daughter who was just 1 at the time.

Anyway, I look forward to reading your diary and wish you every success! MAke teh most of your 3 and half months off!!

reality_check

Hey Lulabelle,

Life is too short to be in a job that is making you feel how you did! Well done for being brave enough and walking away from it!

Enjoy your time off and take time out to do things for you and do what makes you happy!

I will follow your diary and hopefully pick up some frugal tips along the way as this is what I am needing to do to.

Good Luck! xx

lulabelle

So, weekend was pretty good in the end!

Sat night we went to cinema - sweets and drinks were only £4.64. Then we had to get petrol which was a tenner each.

Did my run yesterday morning despite battling with myself constantly about not wanting to go! Did almost 7 miles in the end - 10 min walk, 30 min run, 10 min walk, 30 min run, 10 min walk. Parts felt good and parts felt awful!!

Then we went up to the boy's mum's for lunch - I had zero appetite though and barely ate anything. Still, cost us nothing and was good to see her.

Got back and the boy did lots of sorting out whilst I made a cake - raspberry and assam tea loaf - omg it is divine!!!

Then we had some tea from stores and watched "inside job" which was about how the financial crisis of 2008 came about - really interesting but still unbelievable no-one was held to account for it!

Today is my first proper day of unemployment (as I had annual leave thurs pm and fr) - got up vaguely early (8am) and now having a cup of assam tea (so lovely). Have had to call a drains company out as the manhole cover in our garden is still overflowing - there is toilet paper all over my nicely landscaped garden!!! There was also a condom (not ours) which came up (I felt sick) so I think I am going to have to put a note through the neighbour's doors to ask them to be careful what they are putting down there and if there's another blockage I will be charging all of them for the call out/work. Hoping it is a fairly simple thing to solve and that the company can just do it today.

More bl**dy expense though - that's now plumber for toilet, plumber for boiler, electrician for lights and drainage co for drains!!! NOT very good when I am supposed to be being more frugal!

So, today, other than waiting around for the drainage company I am going to tackle the boxes in the spare room and clean the kitchen surfaces and hoover. Was going to nip into town as they have our shampoo etc on offer and we could do with some for going away but remembered I have an appointment with the bank tomorrow and have to take library books back then so will go tomorrow instead and save my legs!

Think it is going to be a boring "sort out" day but that was what this week was always going to be about anyway!

lulabelle

So, the good news is that the drainage co sorted it relatively quickly and I now no longer have an overflowing manhole in our garden!! Bad news is that they think it will happen again unless next door sort out the interceptor (on their land) as that seems to have slipped (they are not sure if it is subsidence) so everything is backing up. The drainage co said I shouldn't have to pay for them today as it is next door's fault. I have to say I don't know what the position is but next door is owned by an electricity co so have contacted them and explained situation/sent them copy of the drainage co's report so hopefully they will get it sorted. They have been pretty good in the past.

Have cleaned kitchen surfaces and organised some of the cupboards as they were in a right mess and it was driving us both mad everytime we wanted to get something out. Also cleared 2 of the drawers of crappy papers and stuff which needed to be binned or sorted.

Have started cleaning out my clothes and now have a box already to take to charity shop. Have organised boxes into what I need to take to new job, what I need to shred and what I need to file away. So will pull all papers out tomorrow and start putting into files by financial year tomorrow afternoon in the hope that I can get that done tomorrow pm.

Having a break now this pm as am shattered! At least today has been MSE as not going out and refusing to put the heating on!!!

lulabelle

morning money savers!

was supposed to be running this morning - just 20 mins as this week is an "easier" week to allow for adjustment to increased workloads later (eek!) but it is p1ssing with rain! This afternoon's forecast is better so am planning to go later in the day - tbh my calves are hurting a bit anyway so might be better not to run at all but not missed a run yet (apart from first week as was poorly) so thinking I'll roll them out on a foam roller and hope for the best!

Got an appointment with my bank manager at 12 as want to change my mortgage payments to come out on 1st of month. If they don't allow it I'm not that bothered but would just align it with other stuff. We need some shampoo from b**ts so will nip in and get that and also some chocolate from the pound shop as I find a toffee crisp about an hour and a half before a run really helps!!

So not expecting it to be a massive spend day which is good!

Chrysalis1976

Best of luck and good wishes with your new job and life, I left a job in November after being with the same employer for 10 years I feel absolutely fantastic. I didn't actually realise how stressed I was until I stopped and so thankful I don't have to work for a horrible, horrible individual anymore.

Good luck with the running and hope the household expenses don't stack up too much!

C x

lulabelle

thank you chrysalis! it's amazing how many people have come out to say they hate their jobs or have left jobs they hate. I think a lot of my generation are scared to take a leap of faith, partially due to money worries but more than that, I think in our parents' generation, you just didn't leave a career so the parents are always more spooked than us which puts us off!

Glad it was a positive move for you. The relief is pretty epic!