Weekly Flylady Thread 11 Jan 2016

mrs-moneypenny

Thank you for the lists bossy and natty
I'm in again
Just back from seeing creed, it was really really good. Dd3 managed to get advance tickets for Dh for his birthday, we had all the kids round for dinner, followed by cake and a bored game (pandemic) then we went cinema.
Good day.

Just going to have a cuppa then nip shop for read and sarni filler.

Hugs CY, you have been doing brilliantly,
Mumof2 hugs and hope things can be worked out.

ionafan

Thanks Bossy and Natty. I'm in again this week, whenever possible.

Did WMx3 today and put a few bits which were moved for Christmas back where they belong.

Gentle (((hugs))) to CY. Hope you feel better this week.

Posivibes to Mumof2. Take heart from my DH who was an inveterate hoarder and is now sometimes even able to keep his man cave tidy (albeit for short periods) and humours me by tidying his things away in (most of) the rest of the house. His hoarding problems stemmed from having absolutely nothing to his name at one point in his life, so every little thing he acquired took on massive significance as *his*. You wouldn't believe the junk I threw away each time when we moved house twice in three years.... "49 pens" brings back similar nightmare memories :eek: If your OH won't change his ways, hang onto your children, your dog and your sanity!

Today I have managed to finalise the Old Wives' programme for this term - not a moment too soon, with our first meeting of the year tomorrow, but someone on whom the whole programme hinged kept me waiting for weeks for a decision on their speaking date, finally ringing today to say that they couldn't do it after all. I had an hour or two of panic about getting other speakers, but fortunately I found two people who were willing to fill gaps, I shall do one slide show myself, and the rest of the term is filled with Knit'n'Natter, a meal out and a Board Games Night. Thank goodness it's a short term and we only meet fortnightly :rotfl:

Time for bed, methinks. Goodnight all x

Mumto5

I'm going to try to keep to the lists this week. Thank you Bossymoo for compiling the list!


Having said that I'm working my late week this week 10.45 - 4.
Factoring in travelling time its 8.30 - 6.15. I will try to get to Zumba tomorrow night (I have paid in advance so this is a huge incentive!).


I'm not very up to date with what is going on with flyladies. I will try to read this week. I really miss you all after christmas flylady love that was sent via the card swap. I must make more time for what is important for me and makes me happy! I think I've just mad my first NYR!

Mumof2_2

pigpen wrote: »

You have to put yourself and the children first.. he is dragging you down, all of you.

If you go to relate.. take pictures of your house so they can see what you are battling. It's ok for him, he goes away for days at a time so doesn't see it, home is nothing more than a shed full of his things and you are one of his things.. from what you've said he doesn't appear to even think of you as a person just another thing which is why you (and Whiz) can be so easily dismissed and discarded. That makes me so sad, I want to come and cattle prod some sense into him.. you sound such a lovely kind person.

Would Z write a letter about how she feels about the situation? S too if he has the understanding and can put it into words.. it isn't something they think about if it is normal to them. It might be a wake up call hearing from the children what they can see and hear and how they feel.. very hard for you to hear. It might be good for you both though tbh.. it might make it easier if things do come to a close.

Write a journal of all the interactions good and bad.. so you have something you can start with, your day-to-day life. Having something visual might shake him up.. unlikely because he doesn't appear to be affected by visual things.. but worth a try.

Stay strong.. you have done well to come this far, you said your piece, you stood your ground, you CAN do this again!!

Thank you for these words of advice. I'm not too keen to involve the children just now; I'm hoping that we can resolve this one way or the other and only get them involved if needs be - they're both sensitive little souls and I want to keep things as normal as possible. It's definitely worth keeping a journal as it's very easy to forget what's been said/done isn't it. Now you'd think nothing happened earlier and it's all normal but I'm not going anywhere near his stuff obviously.

Great idea re you coming to visit with the cattle prod - maybe you could help me do some decluttering at the same time. I'll hire a skip (or two) for the end of the week shall I!! I'm going to take photos of the clutter and take them when we have a session so they can have some idea of what it's like.

I am staying strong - I'm surprising myself really by how strong I can be and the wobbly legs have stopped so that's a good sign.

Mumof2_2

ionafan wrote: »

Posivibes to Mumof2. Take heart from my DH who was an inveterate hoarder and is now sometimes even able to keep his man cave tidy (albeit for short periods) and humours me by tidying his things away in (most of) the rest of the house. His hoarding problems stemmed from having absolutely nothing to his name at one point in his life, so every little thing he acquired took on massive significance as *his*. You wouldn't believe the junk I threw away each time when we moved house twice in three years.... "49 pens" brings back similar nightmare memories :eek: If your OH won't change his ways, hang onto your children, your dog and your sanity!

Thanks for those words of encouragement; nice to know someone has been through it and come through the other side still together.

Narc0lepsy

Hugs to mumof 2 you and Whiz deserve better consideration.
Hugs also CY hopefully it is just the effects of going back to work. Mr N still gets tired, sometimes feels unwell and we're now a year since his op; 8months since he went back to work full time.

I've just caught up quickly on thread after a few days down at my Mum's.
This week's plan includes:
- start recording/planning to regain shape/fitness/weight issues. I used to use a good tracker by Tesco, but my gym also has some record-keeping you can do on line so I'll investigate. I don't intend to follow the 90 day plan that seems all the rage, but I am going to use 90 days as a measurement/target to make some difference. That's April 9th which is handily 4 days before my birthday.
- Finish writing up Thursday's assessment by end of tomorrow.
- Get paperwork/report template for Wed and Thurs assessments ready
- email 4 new 1:1 students to see when they want lessons
- Tax return to be done this week
- Continue decluttering and organising study
- Continue deleting old emails
- resume Mindfulness course
- Do at least something from the flylist on the correct day

Happy week everyone

Valli

DD has just helped me repurpose a drawer. Numerous 'useful' wires (cables) bagged for recycling; webcams to go to chazzer (along with a bagful of books - been read; won't re-read so am keeping them to store dust on :rotfl:). Drawer now has DVDs in; DVD shelf can now be used for the cookbooks I am keeping. Instruction books for stuff we no longer have gone into recycling.

amandaatnumber7

Hi ladies, I new to the flylady thread hope you dont mind me joining in. Im not very disciplined with a daily housework routine hopefully your thread will keep me on track

Frizzlef

Count me in, thanks bossy!

CY- sorry to hear you're not feeling great. Hope your feeling better soon.
Mumof2- sending you hugs at this tricky time.
Pigpen- lovely blanket!

Busy day today. Ds2s had a little party this afternoon so we are pretty ship shape here, for a change.

Catch up properly tomorrow as I need to sleep now....

lynnejk

Evening all

Thank you Bossy for this week's threads and Natty for last week's.

Lots of (((hugs))) for CY. I agree with the others that it may just be that because you've gone back to work you expect to feel back to where you were. You maybe need to be a bit kinder to yourself for a bit longer - hope the horse-pital puts your mind at rest.

Mumto2 - It makes me feel so sad to read your posts. I think it is a shame that you are having these problems and, unfortunately, I do not think Relate will help you atm if your DH won't admit to having problems with hoarding. They are not there to tell you what to do, but help you both see your own ways towards improving your marital relationship.

I don't know if it would help, but my DH is a bit of a hoarder. He now has his 'own' areas so I am not concerned what he is keeping. He has a large, double walk-in cupboard, a cabinet in the spare room, his own wardrobe and chest of drawers, a cupboard in the hall and two drawers in the side cupboard of the SR. I don't visit his areas. If I find anything of his somewhere else I simply put it in his walk-in cupboard on top of something else.

I am very much 'a place for everything and everything has it's place' so would probably come out at the OCD end of things. If he 'borrows' anything from the rest of the house it has to be put back, so I don't have to rummage in his stuff to find it.

Could you maybe find some spaces for your DH and put ALL his things in these spaces, preferably out of site, and then ignore them ? Do you have a spare room, garage, floored loft or just big cupboards ? Then, explain that you like to be neat and tidy and, as long as all his 'stuff' stays in his allocated spaces, you will not interfere.



Finally, if you look on-line, try putting 'My partner is a hoarder' into Google, then you will find lots of info.

Monday - Living / Family Room
Back to basics, grab a couple of bags / boxes and gather everything that doesn't belong in this room.
Declutter a drawer, shelf or box.
Dust from top to bottom.
Vac everywhere, use the tools to get between those sofa seat pads only moving furniture if you can do so safely.
Polish mirrors, shine pics / photo frames.
Wash a window or two.
Extras
Wipe any grotty marks near light switches / door handles

Sending gws and posi-vibes, hugs, sticks and spoons to all needing some
Hope you all have a marvellous Monday
Lx