Private/Prep School or State school?

jackyann

And of course, a thread about coaching to pass the 11+ always reminds me of where I once lived - a good comprehensive authority, bordering one which still had the 11+.
Astonishing the number of families who crossed borders to be in the "grammar school" authority, then suddenly decided that what little Montmorency needed was a comprehensive and moved back (nothing of course, to do with Montmorency "failing" the 11+)

Sox77

I could not afford private school but would have if I could have at one point. That said I wanted my eldest to sit for a local grammar (he was in state junior and doing really well) anyway I spoke to his teacher who told me unequivocally that whilst he was smart enough he was not the type of child who would do well at grammar school, that he wouldn't for behavioural expectations. Not because he is naughty but because he is just not quiet or focused enough in the way he works. I was a bit surprised as I hadn't though about it that way but it makes sense. There are intelligent children who are studious and those who aren't and I decided I did not want to risk sending my clever boy to a school where he was always in trouble

Mojisola

littlej0hn wrote: »

Our eldest will be off to School in September and we want to do all we can to help our boys reach their full potential. Never thought we would be able to afford it, but by tightening up we should be able to get them both through a private school

TBagpuss wrote: »

Personally I would stick with the state system, and usesome of the money saved to cover the costs of out of school activities.

I second this ^

If you would have to scrimp in order to pay the school costs, think of all the family experiences you won't be able to afford.

If you can save a bit less out of your budget and use that money for clubs, events, experiences and, if need be, some private tutoring, your children could end up happier, well-rounded and well-educated.

To help with cutting back, put a statement of affairs on the Debt-free board. People will be able to suggest ways of trimming your spending.

Spendless

I wouldn't expect a private school to work miracles (not saying you are). My DD is at an out of school club attended by some children at the local private school and I discovered that their best results in the whole of the town 100% gaining A-C grades is 'smoke and mirrors'. There they don't allow children into the secondary school years unless they are achieving at a certain level in yr6 and even then if they think kids aren't going to achieve at least a C they don't enter them for the exam. I've heard about one child, at another local private school only being put in for 4-5 gcse's because otherwise it will be 'too much for him' (ie affect their results). Ironically the parents moved him there from the state system because they thought it would improve his grades.

I agree with the others that say pay for some extra curricular clubs. The best results my lazy teen has ever got has when I've intervened and paid for 1-2-1 tutoring.

My DD has been attending a drama group for the past 2 years where she has excelled and is the top of her class at the subject, but she wouldn't have got so far if she'd purely been studying the subject at school.

jackyann

I do think that some of it depends on what you are aiming for. My personal philosophy is that kids thrive in a co-operative & diverse chool. I certainly wanted them to achieve academically, but not at the expense of other skills.

2 stories from my circle show the different kinds of private / independent school. One young person went to a Quaker school, where many families had little spare money. Her kindness and understanding, and social awareness could not be bettered.
When I was on the local pre-school committee, I rang one mum who hadn't let us know if he wanted the place she had reserved. She didn't: "I have to say, your village playgoup won't equip DS for the rat-race". I simply said it would have been nice to let us know and save us the time & cost of a phone call. Some years later (long story short) this kid turned up in one of the village sports clubs. He had been kicked out of the private school for smoking pot. I ended up ferrying him to sporting fixtures as his parents were too busy, and I never got a thanks from them (not sure if they realised who I was!)

Not sure if State school would have made any difference to either of these....

ViolaLass

Spendless wrote: »

... even then if they think kids aren't going to achieve at least a C they don't enter them for the exam. I've heard about one child, at another local private school only being put in for 4-5 gcse's because otherwise it will be 'too much for him' (ie affect their results).

Is there much point to a GCSE if you don't get a C?

Spendless

ViolaLass wrote: »

Is there much point to a GCSE if you don't get a C?

In my mind they might as well do A B C and fail but that's been the case since I took O'levels and grades D and E were passes that didn't count. Going round colleges with my eldest for his post 16 options, some colleges the requirement given was D (looking at some computer courses, these were *easier* courses)

Having got a system where there are passes below a C would I want my child not entered at all, if s/he wasn't predicted A-C. I don't think I would, I'd want them to have the opportunity to take the paper rather than not be allowed to sit it at all.

If you take foundation paper, rather than the higher level paper the highest grade you can get is a C, which makes me ask why have foundation papers?

Jagraf

Charitable private school
Good state school
Home schooling (although this can be the best for some kids)
Poor state school
Expensive results driven private school

In that order.

Grammar school is excellent for academic hard working children, a disaster for those who have been over the top exam prepped.

Return to state at 16 for A levels (private school til 18, in my opinion, doesn't bode well for university life and there are some fab hard working kids in state school from 16 as they have worked very hard to get to where they are)

Alikay

We looked at a private secondary school for DS2 when he didn't get a place at the CTC his siblings attended. The private school was lovely, the boys were polite, friendly and confident- the downside for us was the distance (only 15 miles, but he'd have been out of the house for 11 hours per day which we thought was a lot for an 11 year old) and the need to attend on Saturdays. It seemed we'd be losing a lot of family time. Overall the general consensus was that we'd have gone for private though, given that the local comp was very very poor both educationally and socially.

Luckily he was later offered a place at the CTC (after we'd paid for the private entrance exams..typical!) so followed his siblings there.

ViolaLass

Jagraf wrote: »

... (private school til 18, in my opinion, doesn't bode well for university life...

As you state, that's your opinion. All I can state is that it's not my experience (I attended a private school for sixth form).