My Marriage

squeaky

Been there.

We even had to same the same bed for eight months before she finally moved out - lucky for me she didn't like the house - so she moved out and left everything behind that she didn't want.

That included me, the house, most of the furniture, and almost her kids too! (From a previous marriage).

Sleeping next to the woman you have loved and lost is a right bummer.

I was pretty sure there was something going on, but questions only brought denial. What finally told me was a very simple thing. Normally, whenever I got in late from a shift and she was already in bed - she'd turn over, no matter how deeply asleep, and cuddle in. Always. It was a really nice thing to know that she was telling me she loved me even when she was fast asleep.

Then one night she turned over and rolled away.

And that's when I finally got to the truth.


Only time helps to heal this one, I'm sorry. The advice above about keeping close and warm contact with your younglings is right, and if you can't cope with meeting her when you pick them up - by all means arrange pick-up from a relative / close neighbour / family friend.

Don't move out yet. It'll be tough, but just because she doesn't want to be married doesn't mean that you have to lose everything.

Best advice - get a solicitor.

SHE will - and despite any "verbal" agreements between you to make it all amicable you can bet that she'll be advised to go for everything she can get and she may take the easy route and just follow that advice. If you don't stand up for yourself you'll find that "amicable" will then be very much to her advantage and your loss. (True - some people do manage amicable... but many don't)

There's too much pain and heartache, and pure raw emotion about (especially when the breakup is not mutual) - so advice from "outside" is a must. The emotions you run through are every bit as similar in times like this as if a loved one had died - and every bit as deep. You'll need, at times, to keep yourself in check, because one of them is anger. You can mess up everything with a single sentence or phrase, or decision, made when angry. You can't hide all this emotional stuff, nor should you try - but just bite your tongue and wait for a calm moment before saying or doing anything.

SarahShattered

"The scary thing is i would have her back in the blink of an eye ."

It's not scary really. I understand what you mean tho, it's because it's not your choice, and you still love her.

I honestly wish there was something magical I could say that would stop you hurting, and enable you to shake yourself out of it. Sadly, there isn't. It just takes time...cliched as that sounds...

mr_mephisto_2

well we had a wonderful chat tonight about the future (alone ) but it was easy and very friendly i agree with the above comments about the current amicable situ and how this may change with legal representation but i will try and remind her about this conversation and we will see (i do have an ace up my sleeve if she starts making monetary demands). And just spent a tearful 10 mins with a 7yr old about what will happen they have been told) also got a son aged 11. thanks all this is a great friendly and pocket friendly forum

dramaqueen1973

Hiya

Just want to say I have been there too, I know it doesn't help you to say things do get easier but they really do, time is a great healer. People used to tell me this and I did not believe them, but I look back now and see it was better that he went than making me look a complete fool for any longer!

Hope you get through this ok, just try and hold your head up high, its amazing you know, when you stop asking her (or begging as it was in my case!lol) she will be like "why is he not bothering" and I dont mean it by you should go back to her or play games but it certainly makes you feel smug inside!!!!