My Marriage

keelykat

Hey, I'd be gutted/devestated!

Big hugs,

keely.

Sharifa_2

If she's the one who wants to end the marriage, why isn't she in the spare bed? Or at least taking turns?

Bettyboop

Sorry to read about the strains your relatioinship. I haven't read all the replies but have you and the wife seperated for say a few weeks to determine whether divorce is the route you should both take? Sometimes being apart for a little while reminds us of why we came together in the first place. I'm not sure if this is worth considering but I wish you all the best in this very sad situation. Take care

cauliflower78

Hi, I really feel for you. I know how painful it is when a relationship ends. At the moment you feel like you will never get over it and part of you will always love her, but life is to short to let yourself slide into misery. Time heals all things. Keep yourself busy and remember you will be happy again. I have no advice on the money front just wanted to let you know others feel for you.

mr_mephisto_2

Bettyboop wrote: »

Sorry to read about the strains your relationship. I haven't read all the replies but have you and the wife separated for say a few weeks to determine whether divorce is the route you should both take? Sometimes being apart for a little while reminds us of why we came together in the first place. I'm not sure if this is worth considering but I wish you all the best in this very sad situation. Take care

i suggested this today and she sed no well the way i suggested it was to say "If we split up will there be a way back or is it forever" perhaps in hind site not the best way of asking but i had to ask and the reply was i dont think so with the now usual look away

Peterboro

Hi Mr M Im in a similar situation nearly 3 years ahead of you and prepare yourself for things being worse then better.
Its hard to believe that while I was working me now ex was on the internet chatting up men but its apparently all too common now.

It normally takes something big for this situation to happen
for me it was me complaining the house was a mess ,then I started to smell a rat and after lots of denial I found the truth.
If you want to keep as many rights as you can its prudent to stay in the house (I got the master bedroom, as I just kept getting in and sleeping there until she got the hump and moved out into the kids room)
http://www.ondivorce.co.uk is a great site with a message board to ask those questions you need to.

Chin Up I really do know how difficult this is for you

plumduff-2

What a terrible situation you are in.. this would be my worst nightmare... Cant offer advice... but heres hoping for a change of heart... xxxxxxx

SarahShattered

I just wanted to say that even though this isn't something you want...at all.... It's never a good thing to sit and allow things to just 'happen' to you. You're a person in this too, and whatever the rights and wrongs are, you have a say about what happens to your life.

It's really important to get some legal advice, so that you at least understand what the legal position is.

It sounds as though your wife has made up her mind, and isn't going to change it back. Consequently, you are going to have to pick up your painful heart, wrap it up gently for private nurturing, and start to think about what you want to do now. (even though what you want is for it all to be back to normal!)

I really feel for you, and wish you all the very best of things, but it's really important to not just sit looking and feeling beaten.

I hope that makes sense.

mr_mephisto_2

SarahShattered wrote: »

I just wanted to say that even though this isn't something you want...at all.... It's never a good thing to sit and allow things to just 'happen' to you. You're a person in this too, and whatever the rights and wrongs are, you have a say about what happens to your life.

It's really important to get some legal advice, so that you at least understand what the legal position is.

It sounds as though your wife has made up her mind, and isn't going to change it back. Consequently, you are going to have to pick up your painful heart, wrap it up gently for private nurturing, and start to think about what you want to do now. (even though what you want is for it all to be back to normal!)

I really feel for you, and wish you all the very best of things, but it's really important to not just sit looking and feeling beaten.

I hope that makes sense.

what a beautiful reply im moved to tears(really). The situation as is now is i realise its gone, ive lost my wife, lover and best mate (if ive sed it b4 im sorry but it bears repeating)
i know i need to move on which means sell up pay off all debt and start again. this will help my kids as "our" situation will improve and the sniping etc will stop. thanks for the link to the forum i'll have a good nosey there too. the future is scary and (i cant believe it ) maybe fun my close friends have offered help in doing up my new home and even a new wowan LOL not yet we'll see. The scary thing is i would have her back in the blink of an eye .

virgin_moneysaver

I really feel for you as I've been thru it with my brother - he thought all was ok - then found evidence on the PC that she had met someone on the i/net - she left him & their only daughter to go the other side of the world to be with this guy who promised her the world only to be back after 10 days as , surprise, surprise, he & his situation was a pack of lies - my bruv took her back for the childs sake (& his own as he still loved her) & they decided to sell the house & make a fresh start, but when they saw a few nothing was good enough, when he commented that she didn't seem that interested in them she admitted that she had already found a flat & only came back to him as she had nowhere to go. They got divorced, he got custody but still sold the house as he had also lost his job & he took over all their debt. 6 years on hes still got their daughter & still paying off the debt & shes got a new mug whos loaded & takes her on trips all over the world - so even though you still love her, you've got to protect yourself, for your kids sake if nothing else - chin up & take care X