it's a bit depressing being single this time of year, do you agree?

Jagraf

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

I know what you mean.

Op - I have actually never really been single. I met my first husband at the silly age of 16 and spent 20 years with a man I realise didn't love me ever. (And he told me) I then met my now husband who I love dearly, but two decades of a lie!

Anyway, my now husband doesn't have any biological children and for years we had not a penny, and a huge amount of debt. He became envious of those with babies, I became envious of those with big houses. We both became bitter cynical people.

Life is good now, but what I'm trying to say is that it's such a waste of time comparing to others - no one has any idea of other circumstances.

What you do have is a clean slate without many complications (I'm guessing) relationship wise, you can start again. That's a great opportunity. Be happy and enjoy what you have, life will slot into place x

CC-Warrior

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

for the single people here do you feel a bit depressive during this time of year? so many people looking like they're in love, in relationships or just dating and then new years time it seems there are more couples than ever.

i split up with my girlfriend about 4 or so months ago and since then just been meeting people sporadically, but its never really successful and i don't like dating someone out of desperation. i have tried all kinds of dating routes, don't really like online dating and i don't go to bars or clubs much any more so it's quite difficult.

i just spent the xmas and new years single and it's quite depressing. i was in a relationship the xmas and new years and it was a nice, but this year i's been different and i don't like it. are there single people on here who were single this xmas and new years and how did you feel about it?

It's a great time of year to be single as you don't have to spend so much on presents or spend time with the in-laws. Less stress, more time and more money in your pocket!

CC-Warrior

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

well i feel a bit stupid for moaning after a mere 4 months now lol. do you ever see other couples kissing, laughing or whatever it may be and feel a bit envious? it's weird because this is how i've been feeling. i didn't think being single would affect me as much as it has. i have been single before but i had a different mindset i think.

Don't forget all of the unhappy couple that are thoroughly miserable. As a single person I'm sure they envy you.

If you want to cheer yourself up, go in to WhSmith's and pick up a copy of The Ladybird book of Dating for adults.

CC-Warrior

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

i think another problem for me is i don't have a big social circle. the majority of my friends are in relationships and are married or engaged with children, so they don't do things a single person would do. i have kind of distanced myself a little from them and don't talk to them much at all, and even when we do meet up i feel like an outsider because they all seem to be settling down/settled down and have things in common.

it is hard to meet new people/friends because most people meet their long term friends during school/college years. i did try online dating just to meet people but everyone just assumes you're there to date so it never leads anywhere. as for online dating for actually dating, well that just isn't successful because having a lack of social life means i have no good photos apart from selfies lol and then i just find the whole concept of online dating strange because you're just having a conversation with a stranger over the net. i am a sociable person and like to speak to people in real life and face to face, always have been like that.

i think my social circle situation is an issue with meeting women. i also spent a lot of time with my ex girlfriend and never really socialised with people apart from her. she had her friends but she still managed time to see them whereas for me i think because my social circle was never strong in the first place it was that much more difficult for me. i am almost 30 and as we get older it tends to get harder to meet people. i remember before i was in a relationship i had a healthy social life and the opportunity was there to meet women/new people, but now my social life is not as good, i don't get the chance any more.

Work on your social life and you won't be stressing about being single as much.

Look for an evening class?
Try meet.com ?
Salsa/dance classes?
Learn a different language?
Try a health club/Gym?
Travel for a while?

There may be more ways to meet people than you think. Forget about the other friends and move forwards. Meeting new people is vital as friends come in to your life and leave so easily..whether you are in a relationship or not, meeting new people is essential.

fuzzyduck22

Fitnessguy you will find that there are a LOT of people in the same situation as you...single with lots of coupled up friends starting their families etc. This is me too, there are a few others on this thread alone plus countless threads with people posting similar.

IT IS HARD, I'm in no way denying it. I hate myself right now as a very close friend just announced her pregnancy and all I can feel is sorry for myself as I've been left on the scrap heap - single 30 something woman and it's not as glamourous as the magazines and movies make it out to be. I wish I could just be happy for my friends... I mean I am but the jealousy takes over . (by the way to her I have been nothing but hugs, smiles, congratulations and baby names, I am excited for her but would never dream of telling her how bad it's made me feel - no need for that!).

Meeting new people is tricky but it can be done. Concentrate on yourself and your hobbies, relax a bit and enjoy your own company for a while.x

Kim_kim

SailorSam wrote: »

But i've always said i think NYE is the worse night of the year to be on your own.

I was really happy having an early night - alone.
I've been single nearly 2 years. I was really really sick over Xmas one night & I did feel sorry for myself being alone.
I haven't really felt ready to date, but I think I might be ready now.

The past two years haven't bothered me at all, except for holidays.

Fmess

Don't dispair fitnessguy, as fuzzyduck says there are lots of us in the same situation. I've just turned 30 and have a small circle of good friends. I find it hard to go out and socialise with bigger groups, just for the sake of it but as I only socialise with my friends, who are all engaged, married or in serious relationships, my chances of meeting someone seem slim. I think if you're determined to meet new people, you just have to put yourself out there more. I've heard meet.com is quite good but not tried it myself.

piglet74

Do you go to the gym, to classes?

I myself go to both in the local sports centre, though people do say its a good place to meet someone, I just cant imagine anyone being attracted to me, red face, sweating, hair stuck to me... You never know..

But as a friend says to me, if I did meet someone in the gym, in that state, they have already seen me at my worst!!