it's a bit depressing being single this time of year, do you agree?

fitnessguy1

for the single people here do you feel a bit depressive during this time of year? so many people looking like they're in love, in relationships or just dating and then new years time it seems there are more couples than ever.

i split up with my girlfriend about 4 or so months ago and since then just been meeting people sporadically, but its never really successful and i don't like dating someone out of desperation. i have tried all kinds of dating routes, don't really like online dating and i don't go to bars or clubs much any more so it's quite difficult.

i just spent the xmas and new years single and it's quite depressing. i was in a relationship the xmas and new years and it was a nice, but this year i's been different and i don't like it. are there single people on here who were single this xmas and new years and how did you feel about it?

torbrex

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

for the single people here do you feel a bit depressive during this time of year? so many people looking like they're in love, in relationships or just dating and then new years time it seems there are more couples than ever.

i split up with my girlfriend about 4 or so months ago and since then just been meeting people sporadically, but its never really successful and i don't like dating someone out of desperation. i have tried all kinds of dating routes, don't really like online dating and i don't go to bars or clubs much any more so it's quite difficult.

i just spent the xmas and new years single and it's quite depressing. i was in a relationship the xmas and new years and it was a nice, but this year i's been different and i don't like it. are there single people on here who were single this xmas and new years and how did you feel about it?

Been single so long I don't even think about it, in fact I get jittery in a crowd.

I would like some company when I go on holiday though but that is a different thread again.

tomtontom

I became single just before Christmas (my decision). I've had a lovely break doing what I want to do, and next week I may go away for a few days. So no, not depressing at all.

Podge52

I've been single for about ten years now. It suits me as I don't mind my own company but as torbrex says it would be nice to share a holiday with somebody.

kingfisherblue

I've been on my own for twelve years. Although it would be nice to have someone to cuddle up to, it's not something that I brood about. I think that I might find it difficult to be with someone in some ways - I've been independent for so long. Doesn't mean I wouldn't give it a try though!

fitnessguy1

i do enjoy my own company and don't want to rely on anyone for my own happiness, but i am starting to think i maybe do rely on someone for my happiness. i don't think i do and am trying to reverse these thoughts. is it just a case of getting used to being comfortable not dating/in a relationship consistently?

fitnessguy1

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I've been on my own for twelve years. Although it would be nice to have someone to cuddle up to, it's not something that I brood about. I think that I might find it difficult to be with someone in some ways - I've been independent for so long. Doesn't mean I wouldn't give it a try though!

well i feel a bit stupid for moaning after a mere 4 months now lol. do you ever see other couples kissing, laughing or whatever it may be and feel a bit envious? it's weird because this is how i've been feeling. i didn't think being single would affect me as much as it has. i have been single before but i had a different mindset i think.

fuzzyduck22

Single for 6 years. It's sad seeing all the happy couples but not as bad as being treated like a doormat.

VfM4meplse

I would disagree with you, but for this information:

fitnessguy1 wrote: »

i was in a relationship the xmas and new years and it was a nice, but this year i's been different and i don't like it. are there single people on here who were single this xmas and new years and how did you feel about it?

The problem is you're living in the past, not that you can help it as the split was relatively recent...in fact I see this as an indication of how much you valued the relationship and feel it's loss. I wouldn't bother looking for anyone else atm, it's not going to be authentic.

Now for the corny-but-true bit: it will get better. I can't say when, but this time next year you'll be in a different place.

Use the New Year as an opportunity to do the things you've always wanted to. Invest in yourself a bit, get to a happy place and everything will seem better.

Person_one

It's only been 4 months, you're still getting over the loss of your relationship. That's what's bothering you more than just 'being single'.

Don't rush into another relationship, spend done time getting the hang of being ok on your own, it's worth it however the future works out!

Lily-Rose_3

I have been with my husband since the mid 80s, and so I can't imagine how I would cope if I was suddenly single; (if I was widowed or if we split.) I guess it would depend. I think if it was my choice to split, then I would be OK with it, but if it was his choice, then it would be harder to handle.

I was single up to my early 20s (apart from several very short term relationships, like 2-4 months,) and I did often think I was going to be single forever LOL. All my friends and young female family members were getting hitched and I was getting left behind. And I never had a Christmas in a relationship. I did feel left out and a bit lonely.

And I did sort of feel that 'looking at couples all the time and wishing I was in one' kind of feeling. I never really enjoyed being single, and I love being in a relationship. I guess if your relationship is bad, then you are better off alone, and I know many people are happy alone, but I just don't know if it would be for me.

I love going for walks alone, and going shopping alone, and having 'me-time' in the house, but I also love going out with my husband, and enjoy day trips and evenings out with him. I just enjoy my husband's company, and enjoy going on holiday with him, and spending Christmases and birthdays with him, etc. So I do empathise with the OP; being alone after being in a relationship must be a struggle.

Upshot is; I wouldn't like to think that no-one is ever coming in of an evening, that I have to always go out alone, and that I am going to be alone for Christmas, birthdays, and holidays etc.

After so long with someone, I think would struggle. My husband and I are a tight unit, we enjoy being in a couple, and we love each other very much.

I am aware though, that some people are fine alone. Each to their own.

As for the OP; yes I think I can understand how you feel. I hope you find happiness soon.