Frump to Fab 2016 - Lets make it AWESOME!!!

maman

Ellsbel wrote: »

Ditto from me:)
Hope you're all either being pampered, or pampering yourselves x

Same from me too.:A


DD2 came round yesterday and DD1 has been round today. Now I've got a lovely, quiet rest of the day to myself and all I have to do is flower arranging!!:rotfl:

pirateyqueen

Went back home for the weekend to see my mum. I had a lovely time, but I get so sad and miss her so much when I leave.

We had a lovely little pamper treatment, with a manicure (I went for shellac in a navy blue) a mini facial, a little back massage and an eyebrow wax. Last night I had a nice long bath and did a hair mask, facial peel and soothing face mask. Feeling refreshed today.

Booked in for my tattoo on Sunday. Very excited!

indiepanda

Hello all. Sorry I have been somewhat absent lately.

I guess main bit of news is that the seemingly lovely boyfriend turned out to have rather a lot of issues. It was all rather odd, he would swing between being wildly positive about me, to being rather clingy to being passive aggressive when he didn't feel like he was getting exactly what he wanted or just coming up with worries about me that were all in his head. It wasn't constant but enough that I was starting to feel unsure about my feelings for him and pull away emotionally.

Anyway, matters all came to a head just over a week ago with him getting quite verbally aggressive towards me and we agreed to split. He tried to change my mind afterwards and got quite desperate trying to speak to me at one point - got a phone call, two emails, two whatapps and a string of facebook messages all in an hour one morning after I had sent him an email explaining why I didn't want to meet up to discuss whether we might resolve things. Anyway, eventually the penny seemed to drop why I didn't want to see him again, and in response to an email I sent this afternoon letting him know I had posted back some stuff he left at mine, he has told me he has got some therapy booked, which I think is a good thing. He clearly had unresolved issues from his marriage not to mention from childhood.

After this on top of the bruising experience of splitting with the previous boyfriend last year (who truth be told I still miss) I have decided to give up on dating for a while and focus on me, looking after my health, getting back into a good routine with healthier eating and exercise, keeping fabbing and just having some fun with my girlfriends.

I am off on holiday to La Gomera (one of the smaller Canary islands) on Saturday so I am looking forward to that. It's a hiking trip and quite a few of the people I was in Austria with in September will be on the trip.

So, when I get home it will be time to get into a good routine and start to whittle the waistline and get properly healthy. My massage lady (who has done some reflexology and is training to be a yoga teacher) is wondering if I might have some thyroid issues so I am going to investigate that, and I also need to watch my blood sugar - had it tested recently and though I am not diabetic or even pre-diabetic, I am definitely at the "at risk" end of the healthier range. Given my maternal grandmother got type 2 and my father is pre-diabetic, I need to get a grip on this. Stop medicating with sugary foods and look after myself properly. I have both a massage and a facial booked for my Monday off after I get back from holiday so hopefully will be looking and feeling healthy and relaxed when I get back to work.

Work has been very busy but they are now accepting they need to find extra support for me which is great, I know I was starting to get stressed out about it all and wasn't making the time to look after myself as I was too drained when I got home from work.

Was away in Brighton this weekend for a friend's party and did a bit of shopping yesterday, treated myself to some accessories. There is a a really fab shop that sells an amazing selection of hair accessories that I can't resist visiting when I am down there, bought a couple of claws and a couple of barrettes in lovely colours. Also went to another shop that has a nice range of clothes and also some good scarves. I only bought scarves - the more lightweight ones that are more decorative than snuggly.

Have a pretty full wardrobe right now so plan is to focus on shifting some more of the flab before I buy any clothes - other than trousers, I could do with some smart ones for work. Other than that I plan to stick to accessories if I really *must* shop, but I'd rather spend my money on some nice experiences like theatre trips etc (got a couple booked - Funny Face and Breakfast at Tiffany's) or my hiking trips (got three more weekends away booked in May / June / August.)

chanie

Indie its good to have you back, but its a shame about the circumstances.








Your post is so positive, I know it must be difficult, but we are all here for you.

Ellsbel

Indie I'm so sorry things didn't work out; I was hoping your absence meant all was going well.
Hope you have a lovely, therapeutic break and I think focusing on yourself sounds like a great plan - hugs and good wishes to you x

indiepanda

Thanks Chanie and Ellsbell.

The recent ex also told me today that he is finally getting on with sorting out his divorce. Reckons I was sent to him for a reason. I don't really believe in all that mumbo jumbo, but I guess if I am saving another woman from being put through what he put me through and inspiring him to sort out all his baggage then I guess some good has come from it all.

Not sure I will be taking him up on his suggestion of staying friends... it was all rather stressful in the last month or so - for someone who told me he loved me all the time, he was also remarkably critical of me and though I know I am not perfect, I definitely didn't warrant that level of criticism.

chanie

You sound very pragmatic about it all. I guess, whilst it hurts now, it could be a whole lot worse if you stayed.

indiepanda

chanie wrote: »

You sound very pragmatic about it all. I guess, whilst it hurts now, it could be a whole lot worse if you stayed.

Oh yes, staying really wasn't an option. I was willing to let the odd comment pass when I thought he was just feeling a bit insecure, but when he lost his temper with me and about things that just were over hyped in his mind or in some cases had no real foundation at all I knew I had to call time on it. I won't be treated like that.

There was part of me that started to wonder if I really was the way he described... just for a little while. And then I remembered I have lots of lovely friends, and that simply wouldn't be the case if I was the way he described me. And for all he was sounding so negative about me, he also said he loved me and was gutted about us splitting, so even he didn't really believe everything he said.

It's a shame, we have lots of interests in common and when he was being nice he was lovely. But there you go - bad timing. If the therapy works and he gets his divorce sorted he will make someone a nice boyfriend, just not me.

sugarbaby125

I am so glad Indiepanda that you recognised so early on in the relationship with your recent ex, that his issues did not give him the right to attack you verbally, belittle you or try to undermine you. You took the only course of action that you could in the circumstances. As you said, there are so many friends in your life and they certainly do not have a negative view of your personal qualities, so you were not to blame for his negativity.

Stay positive. Concentrate on your own future. Keep fabbing and pampering yourself and spend time with your friends. In time you will move on and feel relief that you got out soon enough for him not to ruin your self confidence and warp your self belief.

lessonlearned

Good Morning Lovely Ladies

Indie - well done on Kondoing your man. It can't have been easy for you but I agree with everyone else - he's not for you. You are worth more than that. No one - man or woman - should ever settle for less than the best - and no one deserves to be treated like a second class citizen. Better no man than the wrong man.

The more you tell us about yourself makes me think that you are one fine woman and an "excellent catch" for any man. Have a rest from men for a while and when the time is propitious then Mr Right will come walking into your life - probably when you least expect him. IN the meantime concentrate on yourself, get out and about and have some fun.

Sugarbaby - wow 1st weight loss. :T:T:T atta girl. Well done you. Bet you feel great.

pq - well done on the fabbing. Sounds like you are in a good place right now.

Ellsbell - I feel your pain - literally. I too have slipped off the wagon and I feel awful. My hands are so sore and stiff today and I can feel my muscles tightening up again. I've dug out the copper bangle and the copper insoles for my shoes.

I have slipped into bad habits with food too, so today I climb back on that wagon and start again.

In my defence I had a difficult week - moved my dad from his flat into my sisters house. I humped too many boxes around and am now paying the price.

As I feared moving him was a nightmare........he is such a hoarder and would not let me part with anything. He was nasty and continually shouted at me, I honestly don't know why I bother at times. If it was anyone else but my father I would tell them in no uncertain terms where to get off but he is my dad and he is a frail 90 year old ...........my sister did stick up for me several times, bless her.

Anyway it's done now. Tomorrow I will just sort out his paperwork and then leave him to it to settle in. My sister will have her hands full with him but she at least has a husband to intervene if things get out of hand. Tbh she is better at handling him than I am. She always could wrap him round her little finger:rotfl:

Yesterday I went to the hospital and had my abdominal and pelvic scans. Not the most pleasant way to spend an afternoon but it's done. They are sending the results to my GP so it can't be anything too nasty or they would have dealt with things urgently. She said as far as she could tell there was nothing obvious but she just wanted to double check the pictures. So keeping fingers crossed but I'm not too concerned.

So now it's back to Paleo and no dairy, other than a bit of lacto free and my usual yogurt. I've ordered some probiotics because had ran out. I think that regime was starting to make a difference but after a week of no probiotics and poor food choices I am feeling a bit grim.

Anyway finally my time will be my own and I can concentrate on me.

I have a stack of stuff I want to get rid of so I have given myself 4 weeks to get to grips with Kondo Part 2. I want it done before the warm weather comes so I can get out and about and enjoy the summer.

Ellsbell - don't despair. Just pick yourself up and start again. Join me as I do the same.

Today I am taking a few bits to the chazza. I can't lift much so will have to pace myself and just do a few of the lighter bags at a time. DS2 will help me get rid of a load on Friday, he will lift the heavy boxes and larger items.

I had a lovely Mother's Day, two beautiful orchids and a bottle of wine......plus I was right royally fed and watered.

They are good lads.:D

Don't know if I mentioned it but I had a nice big cheque from HRMC last week and today my eBay lady has a nice wedge of cash waiting for me. Wahoo. :j