step children & finances

catoutthebag

I was having a debate with a fellow the other day & we couldn't reach agreement.

You are seeing or married to someone with their own biological children. It's a serious relationship and committed. But do you financially treat that child as 100% your own. ..holidays, educational support ie uni fees, inheritance etc, or does the biological parent shoulder greater financial burden?

The fellow thought he couldn't financially shoulder 50% of the burden no matter what since they were never 'going to be mine'. I tended to disagree.

What do you think?

JReacher1

Depends on the personal situation and age of the child.

glentoran99

Where is the other parent?

catoutthebag

Discussion based on separated/divorced parent and child who isnt a teenager yet, but at school.

fabforty

catoutthebag wrote: »

I was having a debate with a fellow the other day & we couldn't reach agreement.

You are seeing or married to someone with their own biological children. It's a serious relationship and committed. But do you financially treat that child as 100% your own. ..holidays, educational support ie uni fees, inheritance etc, or does the biological parent shoulder greater financial burden?

The fellow thought he couldn't financially shoulder 50% of the burden no matter what since they were never 'going to be mine'. I tended to disagree.

What do you think?

It depends on so many things. The relationship - seeing each other (even in a committed relationship) is not the same as living together or being married. It also depends on the ages of the children, where they live, your own financial situation and arrangement etc. For example, my partner has three children from a previous relationship. They live with their mother who did not work until benefit changes forced her to. They are now adults but even when they were younger I did not consider myself financially responsible for his children - they have two parents for that. I have two children and work full time and my income goes on my children. If I had been a stay at home mum, and we had lived off of one income, I would have to accept that a portion of the household income would be spent on his children. I have helped to pay for things for his children occasionally - and when he was out of work for a time, I contributed towards his childcare payments, but that's about as far as it goes.

FBaby

I think that what is right is what is agreed between the couple before they commit to each other. Unfortunately, somehow, this matter only comes into discussions when there are financial or emotional tension, ie. when no-one is much in the spirit of compromising.

JReacher1

The difference between step children and your children is that for a step child there is a third adult who will shoulder some of the financial costs.

I would expect the parent to contribute towards educational costs etc.

For "family costs" eg holidays etc then I would shoulder the same costs as if they were my children.

glentoran99

catoutthebag wrote: »

Discussion based on separated/divorced parent and child who isnt a teenager yet, but at school.

Then the childs biological parents should be splitting such costs as school and uni fees, clothing etc, holidays etc are a different story

missbiggles1

JReacher1 wrote: »

The difference between step children and your children is that for a step child there is a third adult who will shoulder some of the financial costs.

I would expect the parent to contribute towards educational costs etc.

For "family costs" eg holidays etc then I would shoulder the same costs as if they were my children.

With the exception that university funding is based on the student's home situation and includes the step parent's income. The income of the non resident birth parent isn't taken into consideration.

JReacher1

missbiggles1 wrote: »

With the exception that university funding is based on the student's home situation and includes the step parent's income. The income of the non resident birth parent isn't taken into consideration.

But you can get around this by registering the lower earning birth parents address as the permanent address of the child. That is what many people do.

Hard_Up_Hester

Not exactly the same thing but my husband and I each have our own children and therefore step children, we have always treated them all the same.
They are all grown up now and we have grandchildren, step grandchildren also one of our DD's is a foster carer, so we have step grandchildren, they are all treated the same way.