KonMari 2016 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Serendipitious

tattycath wrote: »

Sorting loft out at the moment...came across our wedding cards.
The sentimental part of me says keep them...the practical part of me says , they are only of interest to me, my kids aren't bothered about them. We've been married for years. I'd forgotten they were there... How many of you have kept your cards please?

I kept mine for almost two decades even though I was only married 5 years in total. I just never got around to doing anything with them, they were just in a box, and I may have had an emotional block that didn't help.

But when I finally decided to let them go, I looked through them and had quite a shock. There were cards from couples who had since divorced, cards from people I no longer saw and had no intention of seeing, and inevitably there were cards from older relatives who had passed on. Some cards had yellowed, the glitter had tarnished on others, and the decals on a few of them had just fallen off as the glue perished. It was ever so easy to let them go, my only regret was I hadn't done it sooner.

GreyQueen

A card is a place marker in time. A birthday card says I'm thinking of you today. An anniversary card acknowledges your relationship. A valentine may be an annual exchange between spouses or a love token in a potential relationship. Christmas cards are the promiscious bunnies of the world of epheremal paper; quickly chosen, quickly dashed off and of little lasting sentiment in the vast majority of cases.

My Nan received 87 condolence cards on the death of my Grandad. I know the number because she mentioned it several times and the outpouring of affection for this quiet village couple was heart-warming. It helped her, in the process of mourning, at the time.

I have no idea if she has kept them but they will not have the same resonance to anyone else in the family. I loved my Grandad and remember him very well and don't need a condolence card or to keep one of the many copies of the order of service from his funeral as a memento.

I keep my birthday cards for one week past the date before recycling. Christmas cards I recyle early in the New Year.

Some people might regard me as a bit hard-boiled in my attitudes to sentimental paperwork but I operate on these principles;

1. I am not a celebrity and I do not need to save every bit and piece to make them available for my future biographer.:rotfl:

2. If I have an ongoing relationship with a person, I will be seeing and talking to them. I don't need the birthday card they sent me last year as proof that they do actually like me. Heck, they're likely to give me a card every year that we're friends, and how much stuff can you keep?

3. If I do not have an ongoing relationship with someone, finding something they sent me in happier times will be upsetting.

4. If I can remember someone, or remember anecdotes about them from people who were older, why would I need some random bit of paper that they owned? Memories are infinately more portable than boxes and bags of paperwork. And they aren't in harm's way in fire or flood, either.

Slinky

I kept condolence cards from when my Dad died for a while but then shredded them as I didn't want to be reminded of how awful it all felt at the time.


I discovered in the box with the Christmas lights, a couple of cards Dad gave me, so I kept them and they go on the mantle each year.

Floss

I have kept the condolence cards that my mum received when my dad died, and those received when she died. I also have the last Christmas and birthday cards from my mum, and a postcard from a French holiday my parents took after dads last operation. They don't take up much space in my memory box in the attic.

I also have birth cards from my 2 sons. They have most of their childhood photos ( albums done a couple of years ago for Christmas pressies ).

DH and I only married in 2010 and I have kept engagement and wedding cards, along with a menu, a cone of the petal confetti and the table name cards. I also have all the cards DH has given me since we met in 2003

Previous wedding cards etc were ceremoniously chucked with album etc when I moved back to my mums after the marital home was sold - was tempted to put them into his pile of stuff but left the bin bag open, with his last card declaring undying love ripped in half on top instead!

dragonette

GoingtoDoit, yes its been really helpful with my cfs n fibro but I also find that an odd thing to say. Streamlining makes things easier for everyone, surely?

For sentimental papers, I try to not keep many and go through them every few years to weed out those that no longer make me smile. I am not married, have no kids and do not my own home, so I suppose my decisions have fewer ramifications. My mum has a knack of giving me cards I adore and have put up on the wall

I think its time to start re-visiting some categories soon. Not today, but soon...

GoingToDoIt

I thought it odd, but not in an offensive way...I just took it as meaning that those with low mobility/energy/housebound seem to be the ones cheerleading KonMarie.
Of course I think there was a hint of the famous "but you're not really ill"

PollyWollyDoodle

Imagine if you kept every card you ever received ... you'd be knee-deep in them. Most of us recycle Christmas and birthday cards (I use mine for patchwork hexagons). So not all cards have the same meaning - and some of us will attach more meaning to them than others.

I'd go back to 'does it spark joy?' GreyQueen is spot on as usual about the condolence cards, it's the fact of receiving them at the time that is important. If looking at your wedding cards reminds you of a happy day then keep them. If it makes you feel nostalgic for time passing, reminds you of people who've died or otherwise isn't a positive experience, then they don't merit houseroom.

Another way to look at it is to think of cards you've given someone. Would you expect them to keep them and be looking at them again years later? I wouldn't - they are symbolic, to mark the occasion but not intended (by me, at any rate) to be kept for posterity.

milasavesmoney

Floss wrote: »

left the bin bag open, with his last card declaring undying love ripped in half on top instead!

Your a woman after my own heart! :T. Marvelous way to Kondo that card!!

greenbee

I acquired a copy of this at the airport

http://www.vogue.com/13382473/life-changing-magic-of-not-giving-an-f/

Useful for anyone who needs help getting to the state of kondo nirvana that Mavvy seems to have achieved :cool:

GreyQueen

greenbee wrote: »

I acquired a copy of this at the airport

http://www.vogue.com/13382473/life-changing-magic-of-not-giving-an-f/

Useful for anyone who needs help getting to the state of kondo nirvana that Mavvy seems to have achieved :cool:

I'm sure I've seen that book IRL, in a bookshop not the library. I don't think the library would wear the title.

In a sense, I've been operating a version of this for the past 30 years. When you have CFS/ME, you have a very very low energy budget. About 98% of it is expended in day-to-day survival. This means that you have to be very picky about what you do and where you go, or the non-essential activity leaves you wrecked and struggling for days until you can achieve the low level equilibrium which is the norm for you.

I don't watch movies on the main evening showing. If I do, I will be exhausted for two days because it's being up too late and with too much stimulus to sleep properly. I will watch them on a matinee, or 6 pm showing if I must, but not something which doesn't even start until nearly 9 pm.

In the rest of my life, I'm constantly having to evaluate how much I want to spend the energy budget on A, if it means that B, C and D will have to be cancelled.The question does it spark joy? frequently comes to mind.

Today is a work day and I may, if the energy holds and the weather doesn't bless me with another storm, pedal up to the allotment afterwards and gather yesterday's noxious weeds and take them to the tip. Hadn't the energy to do it yesterday, plus needed to do food-shopping which was in the opposite direction.

Have a happy kondo-day, everyone.