Finding partner for serious relationship.

Gulash

I am having trouble finding partner for serious relationship. In most networking sites, most women say only chat, only friendship, etc. Apart from that, most women have already children and are single mums. Last, most women don't even look at you unless you look like a model. Should I completely ditch online search or do I do something wrong? But again, where could I meet someone? Is it normal to start talking to a total stranger in the pub? What do you advise me?

KRB2725

Join something like a dance club. Relax and have fun and you will make friendships that may turn into something else. You can't find a serious relationship, they develop with time.

I also think an open mind is essential. You seem to be writing off people with children, but it could be that someone you find a connection with has a child. If you write people off before you have even met them because of a perceived issue then your search will take longer!

It is also ridiculous to say you need to look like a model, the vast majority of people are not model material, yet many/most are in, or have been in relationships.

Don't try and force a relationship. If you do meet someone, take it slowly and don't put pressure on either them or yourself to turn it into something serious too quickly.

bossymoo

Depending on the age range you are looking at, most people will have some history or other, be that children or ex-partners.

When I was looking, men my age wanted much younger ladies. Dating sites tend to make us think in terms of shopping lists - rather than whether you get on with someone or not.

I get that it works for some people - but others use them for years with no luck...

HappyMJ

Gulash wrote: »

I am having trouble finding partner for serious relationship. In most networking sites, most women say only chat, only friendship, etc. Apart from that, most women have already children and are single mums. Last, most women don't even look at you unless you look like a model. Should I completely ditch online search or do I do something wrong? But again, where could I meet someone? Is it normal to start talking to a total stranger in the pub? What do you advise me?

One minor problem with meeting a new partner (either male or female) in a pub. If they are in the pub then it's highly likely they drink...and drink too much. I've not known anyone visit a pub regularly on their own and just have the "one drink" and it's quite hard to build a rapport with someone if they are only in for half an hour drinking that "one drink" so it usually leads to many more drinks. If they are visiting with friends then it's harder to to talk to them as you need to get them away from their friends for a chat. As long as you can handle that then that's fine. I met my last few partners through visiting the pub but I now can't complain that my partner drinks too much can I.

You don't need to look like a model. In fact someone who does look like a model is actually more intimidating to many people with most thinking "oh he/she is very good looking but that's too good for me" and move on.

Person_one

Gulash wrote: »

I am having trouble finding partner for serious relationship. In most networking sites, most women say only chat, only friendship, etc. Apart from that, most women have already children and are single mums. Last, most women don't even look at you unless you look like a model. Should I completely ditch online search or do I do something wrong? But again, where could I meet someone? Is it normal to start talking to a total stranger in the pub? What do you advise me?

It doesn't sound like you have a particularly high opinion of women to be honest, are you sure you want to get involved with one? We're none of us perfect.

selement

Get some hobbies and join some clubs, it'll make you seem more interesting and help you meet more people! Although people do meet people in pubs I would expect that typically if it goes well they perhaps wouldn't be expecting a serious relationship... But then maybe it's smarter not to lead with that and see how it goes? Seeming too keen can be weirdly off putting!

heuchera

Men who look like models (to quote the OP) are unlikely to be on a dating site I guess the same could be said of the women, not that I've looked :rotfl:

If you're on one of these sites it's because you're having difficulty finding someone in real life. That might be because of working long hours, for example, OR it might be because of other reasons which people find off-putting.

OP from what I can gather, the better sites are the paying ones. You don't get so many time-wasters on there. EHarmony is one, but I'm sure there are others.

SailorSam

heuchera wrote: »

OP from what I can gather, the better sites are the paying ones. You don't get so many time-wasters on there. EHarmony is one, but I'm sure there are others.

I don't agree with all that. Maybe some of the free sites have got a lot more deadbeats on them, you've just got to spend some time sorting the 'wheat from the chaff', but there's to many stories about the paid sites that make you think you may not be getting everything you've been promised. There have been programmes on Tv and stories in the press that have exposed paid sites who have false profiles just to keep their paying customers dangling.

BrassicWoman

you sound like you are just looking for "a single woman without kids". Other than that anyone will do.

That's treating women like groceries. Also, you don't mention what you have to offer - anything? Are you an interesting person, with fun interests and hobbies, or just a man with a laptop looking for an unpaid housekeeper?

heuchera

BrassicWoman wrote: »

you sound like you are just looking for "a single woman without kids". Other than that anyone will do.

:rotfl:

I think to be fair if he'd started making a shopping list of characteristics he was looking for in a woman he'd be slated for that too! He seems to just want a nice lady who's not got kids hanging off her, which seems fair enough, as long as he's honest about it. Presumably he's got no children either.

VestanPance

I don't see the issue with him not wanting to partner with someone who already has kids. Many people, men and women, will not want to take on someone who already has kids and the extra issues that brings from day one.

That aside, he obviously has an issue with rejection. Taking that he's thrown the women are shallow and only want male models line out there. Also depending on his age ruling out women with children could severely diminish the number of people he could date. The older you get the lower the percentage of people without kids on the dating market would become.