Being alone at Christmas

Februarycat

This is my first Christmas on my own, I have just treated it as a normal day and enjoying the time off work and doing what I want, but I am a bit upset that my ds and his gf have not been over to see me, despite me inviting them over, they only live 15 min drive away, I get the feeling she is behind the not visiting as my ds has to do as she says and he likes to keep her happy.


I am happy with my own company and hate it when people seemed shocked I'm on my own at Xmas and New Year, and feel sorry for me.

CathA

Some years ago the children were going to be having Christmas dinner with their dad's family, all very amicable etc. As a single parent of 3 girls who were very involved in many clubs, sporting activities etc I had a lot of ferrying about to do in the year.
As we had a dog who needed medicating at certain times of the day, I knew I'd be ( again!) running backwards and forwards during Christmas day for the dog's benefit. I decided I'd stay home,- me, the dogs, the fire and a box of After Eights, fabulous!
Nor that easy, everyone was inviting me to dinner, told I can't stay home alone on Christmas day, even my ex's family asked me to come to theirs!
Sometimes it's other people's perceptions of what is 'right' at Christmas, and it's hard to realise that for some people being alone is right for them.

kingfisherblue

My friend is alone, but prefers her own company. We see each other a few times a year. Although she is invited to join us on Christmas Day, she enjoys that time alone. Instead, she comes on Boxing Day, but only for about four hours.

I've known my friend for about twenty years, and am very fond of her. We are the nearest she has to family. Knowing her as I do, Chrjistmas Day with her cats is what she wants, and I respect that. If she didn't want to join us on Boxing Day, I would respect that too.

Having a busy life with children and a granddaughter, I appreciate the quietness and peace when they aren't around, much as I love them. Maybe some who are alone at Christmas also enjoy the peace from the usual hustle and bustle of everyday life.

I do feel sorry for those who do not want to be alone, and for those who are lonely. And of course, you don't have to be alone to be lonely. You can be surrounded by people but still be lonely.

fierystormcloud

I would extremely annoyed if I were the OP's workmate (or her DH's workmate?' ) If I wanted to be alone at Christmas, I would not want some annoying know all telling me I MUST be lonely, and that I 'can't spend Christmas alone!' Some people who are well-meaning can come across as patronising and annoying! Don't tell me: a grown woman in my mid 30s, that I don't know my own mind. :mad:

Deep_In_Debt

I'm single and on my own. One of the best Christmas's I had was when I spent Christmas on my own. Got up when I wanted, ate what I wanted. Went out for a wonderful long walk, met loads of people and discovered places I'd never seen before.

Colleagues and friends said that I HAD to have Christmas with them and that I shouldn't be alone at Christmas....I wanted to be on my own but no-one could actually understand that.

PasturesNew

To be fair ... if any of these "invites" were worth having then invitees would be there like a shot.

We'd love to say yes, but we don't want to be with you

trolleyrun

I like spending Christmas on my own. I went for a walk with friends and dogs in the morning and then went home. Watched TV, cooked dinner, drank a lot of wine and chatted to some friends on Skype and Facebook. I had some friends who invited me for dinner but I'd rather spend it here at home. Some people I know were shocked that I was on my own but I found it thoroughly enjoyable.

Newly_retired

I am not normally alone on Christmas day but then on Boxing Day DH goes off to visit his family for several days.
Mine are local so I do see them a bit, but by today I am getting lonely.
All my usual activities are closed between Christmas and New Year ( 4th Jan actually this year). I have lots to do at home and am not bored but as it is the only time off he gets I do feel a bit neglected. I know that is selfish of me.

PasturesNew

Being alone for a few hours, or on the day, or for half the day, is different to being alone all of the time, including Xmas Day. Not the same thing at all.

I probably speak to another human being about once a month.

Pollycat

Newly_retired wrote: »

I am not normally alone on Christmas day but then on Boxing Day DH goes off to visit his family for several days.
Mine are local so I do see them a bit, but by today I am getting lonely.
All my usual activities are closed between Christmas and New Year ( 4th Jan actually this year). I have lots to do at home and am not bored but as it is the only time off he gets I do feel a bit neglected. I know that is selfish of me.

Actually, I don't think it is selfish of you.
Is there a reason why you don't accompany your OH to visit his family? (no worries if you don't want to say why ).
If it's your choice that's OK, but if you're not invited/welcomed then I think it's your OH who is selfish by leaving you alone on his few days off.

PasturesNew wrote: »

Being alone for a few hours, or on the day, or for half the day, is different to being alone all of the time, including Xmas Day. Not the same thing at all.

I probably speak to another human being about once a month.

As long as you're happy with that (and I don't know if you are or aren't) then that's fine.