Being alone at Christmas

pigpen

I have had 23 people in my house today.. I'd give absolutely anything to have a single day to be alone.. utterly alone...

so yes, if you have enough to stop you feeling lonely it is ok to be happy about being alone.. I LOVE the days my partner is at college and the 2 year old naps..

VfM4meplse

It's great being alone at Christmas, a truly please yourself day!

I was reminded yesterday exactly why I choose to spend Christmas Day alone. Status quo to resume in 2016.

WeAreGhosts

People mistake solitude for loneliness.

I'm not alone at Christmas, but I am more than happy with my own company.

Running_Horse

I'm glad to do the round of family visits that are expected every year. But I also feel uneasy in someone else's house, in their territory, doing their thing. That is entirely my fault. But it is a relief to be home with my very small family afterwards. I fear I would be only too happy to just say no to any invitations and be anti social.

UKTigerlily

I'm the other way, I was alone and not by choice. I hated it! As for being alone every other day of the year and so why is it different at Xmas? Well for me, firstly I use Facebook a lot to chat to people and see what they're up to but of course being Xmas people weren't on Facebook and if they were, they were posting photos/videos of Xmas with family etc

Secondly, I feel Xmas is for family and is one time to be with people. Everywhere you look people are talking/posting about Xmas parties and meals, being with family etc so it can feel even more alone than usual. Also, I have two serious mental illnesses and one of them means I can't deal with being totally alone so easily

I just wished someone had called or whatever but next year will try to go away so I know it's my choice to be alone and don't get upset when people don't lol

tealady

I think if you are alone by choice then that is fine, it is when you have no one to share Christmas with then it can hurt. I have had both in my life. I have spent most of the last few days spending time with some lovely people, I would have been happy to be on my own as I know they would still be part of my life

74jax

When I was a single mum and DD was at her dad's I loved Christmas day alone. Friends would invite me to theirs but I treated it as a normal day, no Christmas dinner etc. Then when DD came back to me we would have Christmas then, presents/dinner etc.

Friends couldn't understand me wanting to be alone, but I honestly enjoyed it.

sofarbehind

I'm spending it alone and not out of choice. It's awful.

joansgirl

I've been on my own for the last 6 Christmases, after being widowed at New Year 2010.

My husband was terminally ill all over Christmas 2009 and died shortly after so Christmas is not a good time for me, it has bad memories.

The first couple of Christmases I was invited for dinner by his family. The first year (2010) I went but all they did was talk about him which made me even more depressed, so I didn't go again.

This year I was invited to 3 different places, I didn't go to any as some peoples motives were a bit iffy. One of my friends who invited me, has recently been trying to play matchmaker, much to my annoyance, so she was given a wide berth. My sister in law also invited me but she would just have been wanting to talk about my husband all the time, so that was a no. And my boss, who is actually more like family also invited me but she had a houseful of kids which would have annoyed me, I don't do well with kids.

I was quite happy to spend Christmas with the dog, just chilling and doing what I wanted to do. If I did feel lonely there were people around when I walked the dog that I could speak to but I spent most of my time avoiding them.

I am basically alone but not lonely. I have this forum and Facebook, plus there are real life friends I can call on if necessary. So far I have not found the need. I do get sick of people telling me it's a shame I'm on my own. It's my choice and I wish other people would respect that and not try to make me feel worse than I already do by offering false concern.

I know this post makes me sound like a right misery but I'm not, I'm just happy with my own company

PasturesNew

I've already started to plan Xmas 2016, intending/planning on being alone. I've made a list of the food/goodies I bought this year - and what I want/need .... and am keeping an inventory of what I fancy (and didn't have) and whether I'm really eating what I've bought.

I'll be able to have a lone-fest, with my favourite foods and my telly ... wearing what will be my new PJs (I plan to buy these as my new Xmas ritual) .... and santa socks, santa slippers ... and drink from a Santa mug (I've yet to find/buy).

Being invited places is nice .... but you then end up being slotted into somebody else's opinion of a "good Xmas" and, for the most part, probably not actually comfortable and enjoying it.

You just have to block out all that TV stuff about friends/family and cheery adverts of parties .... (that you've never ever been invited to anyway as they're just fake for telly adverts) ... and ignore any posts on sites like MSE that enquire about Xmas/commercialisation where people post "oooh but it's all about being with loved ones..." (pfft!).

Embrace the day by creating a set of your own little rituals and revel in your own little Santa grotto with a few sweeties and a nice biscuit or two.

You can then read all the posts about annoying families, arguments, meals that went wrong, fights and mayhem ... knowing you didn't have to endure that.