helping family members who don't listen

Person_one

catoutthebag wrote: »

Unlike you, I'm a health care professional.

What do you do? How long have you been in practice?

Having an 'I know best so you must do what I say' attitude rarely works, especially with your own family, surely you've learned that by now?

Person_one

pendragon_arther wrote: »

You can take a horse to the clinic but...

My son had asthma and I took him for 5 sessions to an acupuncturist 15 years ago. No more asthma.

Wow, its that easy to cure asthma? Who knew...:rotfl:

FBaby

If you are a healthcare professional, you will now that it is difficult to predict how chronic illnesses evolve. Indeed, you were probably predicted a more dire future than you are experiencing now. Some of it will be due to how you've looked after yourself, but a lot of it is also just how it is.

Your frustration reminds me of that of a family member who smoked as his wife did for a long time. They both decided to give up when they realised the impact it had on their life. They were very heavy smokers for more than 30 years, so not an easy task. He managed it, she didn't and continued to smoke. He was so frustrated that she couldn't do it, tried to help her for years, tried everything, sympathy, leaving her alone, informing, nagging etc... but in the end, it didn't work. She died in her early 60s of lung failure, he is still going strong, trying to adjust to life without the wife he loved so dearly.

Unfortunately, that's life. You can't make the ones you love looked after themselves as you do yourself. You can do your best to do so, but you can't make it happen and that is something to accept.

Remember that ultimately, the best help you can give her is just showing her by example. If you look after yourself and she sees the positive impact it has on you, then that's probably the best influence you can have.

catoutthebag

Person_one wrote: »

Wow, its that easy to cure asthma? Who knew...:rotfl:

I don't want this to become a debate about alternative medicine. ..but please open your narrow mind here. If it's worked for some then it works for some.

catoutthebag

Thanks to pigpen, fbaby, oyster & duchy for more positive comments.

I think part is because we never saw eye to eye as she grew up and she asked me for advice so I wanted to help.

To 'hunny', she said she's feeling 'less tight' than before and is off to a friends birthday lunch. Clearly an 'urgent' situation right?

She is still tight and not 100% 4th day and admittedly has been like this a while so obviously her asthma is not under control. I suspect shell visit a walk in centre with my mum next week and I hoe she books asthma nurse of gp when back as she needs a specialist again.

I take on board that I can't do much but I'm happy that she's at least asking advice and I'm providing the best j can and hopefully she acts on a bit of it.

marleyboy

I tend not to listen to the in-laws talk of copper bracelets, no matter how much they insist its useful, helpful and potentially life saving advise. The difference between advice and insistence is how it is given.

Andypandyboy

liana_y2kuk wrote: »

If thats how you speak to your sister, no wonder she isnt listening to you.

If we are being fair, the post he was responding to was patronising and the use of capitals is considered rude.

theoretica

If she isn't listening to what you say, can you provide her with alternative sources of good information - either a book, so she can look things up when she wants or many conditions have good online sites (but there are of course the less good sites which is why I suggest you choose which one to introduce her to.) Some people take things better from people who don't know them than they do from big brothers.

And maybe she just needs to experiment and discover neglecting herself doesn't work and life is less fun when she does.

Person_one

catoutthebag wrote: »

I don't want this to become a debate about alternative medicine. ..but please open your narrow mind here. If it's worked for some then it works for some.

Acupuncture as a total cure for asthma? Hmm, what kind of 'health professional' are you?

Andypandyboy

As an elder brother with probably a typical sibling relationship it s inevitable that your "little" sister who is now an adult, will see your well meaning advice as "nagging" or being over protective. As older adults and without the sibling history, most of us would see it as admirable if a little misguided.

It is a loco parentis role you have taken on and it is often a thankless task as is parenting for real! All you can do is offer advice in a manner designed not to get their backs up (much easier said than done ime) and then stand back.

I am sure your parents have done the same thing, but unlike you they know that at 18 kids know it all.....and unfurtunately, they do sometimes have to learn the harder way. If her Asthma contrains her life she will do what needs to be done, she will remember your advice. For now, and as this is probably her first time away from home, she is doing it her way, and all you can do is wait for her to register the consequences of that.

I think that you should try to take a step back.