Adoption, young children and saving money

Ophie

My fav action song is wind the bobbin. Round and round the garden always ends in a hysterical scream in my experience which is good!!

the_devil_made_me_do_it

Congrats!!

No offence, but "birth" family is important to an adoptee. Be hated or other, they do have a place on an adoptees' life. And no, I don't want to start a debate over nature vs nurture or any debate similar.

Ophie

Thank you for the congrats, but ...

who was that comment to?

I have every intention of ensuring that my daughter knows whats happened and the reasons that she was looked after by SSD, but they will be done in a positive way for a start her 'birth' parents obviously wanted her because she is alive and wasn't aborted. Secondly I have positive things to say about both of her birth parents, and intend to meet them so I can tell my child about her birth parents and have my photo taken with them.

I also want to encourage contact with the siblings and grandparents so I do hope that you weren't implying that as an adopter I would cut the birth family out completely as that is not my intention at all.

She has a right to know her family and I have a job as an adoptive parent to ensure that she has access to ways of meeting them if/when she decides to when she is older.

I also don't think that anyone else in this thread has mentioned that 'birth family' should be excluded or made any derogatory comments regarding this. So quite where this comment came from I am unsure.

SherbetMan

Hi Ophie. Many congrats to you, how exciting. I have recently adopted, and am single. If you want anything pm me. Time for just you and your child is what I reiterate. I feel at the moment my life is like ground hog day, wake up each day not sure what is going to happen next! Think that is part of being a parent though!?

Not sure where the "birth" family comment came from, but have re read the thread several times, and feel there were no comments against the birth family, just supporting you and what you were doing.

Have you had a look at Adoption UK website? They have a brilliant forum there which is very supportive or informative.
Last bit of advice - look after yourself, then you can look after your new family. XXXX

the_devil_made_me_do_it

miserly_mum wrote: »

you will be her Mummy wether you gave birth to her or not. Takes more than biology and genetics to be a Mummy

one of the comments. Which granted isn't particularly negative about "birth" parents.

the_devil_made_me_do_it

misty wrote: »

your parent is the one who looks after you and is there for you - not the one who just happens to genetically linked.

Second ccomment. Now yeah, everyone is entitled to their opinion, however, sounds very harsh to say "who just happens to be genetically linked". It isn't like that at all.

As i said, I don't want to start an argument or debate. I don't want to have a slanging match either, just felt the need to express the importance of the "birth" family.

I'm genuinely happy for you, and I do hope you have a strong and lasting relationship with your daughter's "birth" family. I really wish you all the love in the world, and am happy for you.

candygirl

Congratualtions I bet you are soo excited.A friend of mine recently adopted a 7 year old girl ,and she has settled in so well to normal family life.She already calls her mummy even though she was old enough to know her own mum.
You are doing a great thing so don't get too hung up on trying to do expensive stuff.Get some toys from the charity shop, and nursery cds, she will love them:p

misty

the_devil_made_me_do_it wrote: »

Congrats!!

No offence, but "birth" family is important to an adoptee. Be hated or other, they do have a place on an adoptees' life. And no, I don't want to start a debate over nature vs nurture or any debate similar.

My comments were made in response to the OP's comments about feeling a fake on the other board. i feel as she will be the person looking after her daughter every day of her life - that makes her her mummy.

"who just happens to be genetically linked". It isn't like that at all. In my opinion it is - I don't see that is harsh

disagree that "birth" family is important to an adoptee and has a place in an adoptees life - birth family may be important to some adoptees and have a place in some adoptees lives but certainly not all.

Again my comments were to OP and to reassure her.

the_devil_made_me_do_it

As I said in my posts, we are all entitled to an opinion & I don't want to get into a debate over whether "birth parents" are important blah blah.

I hope all goes well for Ophie.

Hapless_2

once I have her I want to show her off to everyone, but also go places and give her as much as I can.

Don't forget the most important things you can give her are not material things, but love.