Adoption, young children and saving money

Ophie

Hi All

I have introduced myself in the pregnancy thread, but I kinda feel like a fake there.

I'm 32, and in 7 weeks time will be adopting my daughter. She will be 2 on 24th December (incidentally going to see Santa at Harrods on that date).

Anyway... once I have her I want to show her off to everyone, but also go places and give her as much as I can. Does anyone have any suggestions what I can do to save money in what I buy her and what we do. There will be just her and me in the main,and sometimes my mother.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions

x

crispeater

:T :T firstly congratulations

luckily at 2 years old they are quite happy to go to the park which is FREE! lol
i took my 2 to a pick your own farm today and they loved it, i think they ate more plums and raspberries than they actually picked (not looking forward to that nappy :eek: ) picnics at the seaside although weather permitting lol
i think there is also a forum on days out in the travel section which might be able to give you other ideas.

Ophie

Thank you, she is a very small young 2 year old. She is the weight of a 5mth old and the height of a 10 mth old, she has only just started to walk, and is quite wobbly, she also doesn't speak at all. Squarks and cries and generally can make herself understood, but nothing too coherent

crispeater

she might bond well with my son lol he is 2 sept 15th still wears his 6-9mth shorts as all the proper sizes fall off him. i think its about right for his height but he tends to sing or hum rather than talk

i bet your well excited, i really hope you dont mind me asking and please tell me to mind my own but how long did it take you to go through the odoption process?

lynzpower

I used to work in adoption, and I would recommend for quite a long time be spending time at home, helping her settle in. Being out and about a lot might make it more difficult for her to attach, so do bear that in mind.

If her communication is delayed, then of course speaking to her, singing to her, talking her through what you are doing "and now IM going to get up and make a cup of tea" "and in a moment, I think its your bedtime" and talk talk talk, lots of interactive play ( cups and saucers, make mummy a cup of tea, that kind of thing, cars on mats- really lots of speaking. You might want to think about getting a baby walker/ frame type thing , if you dont have one already, and spending time with her using that, building her confidence.

You can go out all you want, but if she isnt mobilising yet, it will be her being pushed around rather a lot and ( i dont want to presume, but IM guessing there has been an element of neglect in her life thus far) it might be more helpful to think about spending time at home as well as being out for "treats.

For children of this age some things will be infinately interesting - visiting supermarkets, airports- watching the planes take off and land, feeding the ducks.

Good luck, and dont try to cram in too much in the early stages, you both have a lot to adjust to !

miserly_mum

Ophie wrote: »

Hi All

I have introduced myself in the pregnancy thread, but I kinda feel like a fake there.

I'm 32, and in 7 weeks time will be adopting my daughter. She will be 2 on 24th December (incidentally going to see Santa at Harrods on that date).

Anyway... once I have her I want to show her off to everyone, but also go places and give her as much as I can. Does anyone have any suggestions what I can do to save money in what I buy her and what we do. There will be just her and me in the main,and sometimes my mother.

Thanks in advance for any suggestions

x

You shouldn't feel like a fake, you will be her Mummy wether you gave birth to her or not. Takes more than biology and genetics to be a Mummy and not just anyone could do what you are doing.I speak as an adopted person with 6 children of my own.

misty

Congratulations. Def don't feel a fake - your parent is the one who looks after you and is there for you - not the one who just happens to genetically linked. I too would say - stay at home a bit - let her feel comfortable and safe and familiar with her surroundings - getting used to her room and things.
I know you will be so proud you can't wait to show her off but you could let people come to you for visits. I would alaso echo the park as a great cheap trip for toddlers - again the familiarity of same equiptment is reassuring too. Hope you have a fantastic time together - not much longer for you to wait now.

Ophie

miserly_mum wrote: »

You shouldn't feel like a fake, you will be her Mummy wether you gave birth to her or not. Takes more than biology and genetics to be a Mummy and not just anyone could do what you are doing.I speak as an adopted person with 6 children of my own.

Thank you for that m_m. Its always nice to hear from some adopted who sees it as a positive.

I plan on not letting people come round to my house so that she doesn't think that people coming in are going to take her away (like I did) until she is confident in the house, which is why I thought going out was a good idea so we can go to see people and do things but always come home to familiarity.

victoriaplum1

my little boy is just gone two and he loves going to the library and 'reading'/ borrowing books, free to join them up too and reading is one of best things you can do with a child to bring on their speech, share special time etc.

victoriaplum1

another favourite of his is going along the canal to feed the ducks stale bread....he loves that, and parks he will happily stay on a swing far longer than I am prepared to push him!

sonee2405

my nextdoor neighbours adopted a little girl last year she was 4 but looked about 3 and had been through some awful times-anyway before introducing her to close family who were told to give them some space for a few weeks they put photos of close family members around their house(aunties, grandparents , grandparents dog etc)this was so that she could look at the pictures and ask questions, recognise them and know who they were before meeting them in real life.Friends and relatives also phoned and were able to have little basic chats with her -imho i think this was a really good idea because when people did come round they were people she kind of knew instead of strangers.
also forgot to add her first gift from her mum was a nice soft ragdoll which became her bestfriend - when she was introduced to people the doll was also introduced by my friends daughter this way she could pretend to be mummy and not feel anxious.
good luck!