The Spreadsheet Diva's MF Diary

Kittenkirst

Yay welcome back SueP!!

Sorry to hear about the scare you've had this year though x

SueP19

Gory details tomorrow lolol xx

PrincessLou

Yay! You're back! :j:T

Moneyfordreams

Welcome back

AlexLK

Glad to hear you're back, Sue.

A_Frayed_Knot

:j You have plenty of friends on here, looks like I wasn't the only one missing you :grouphug:

Welcome back . . . . . . . . . :A

SueP19

Well I have to say it's a lovely surprise and for one who is suffering "worthlessness" a real heart warming boost to know some of you missed me. I missed you all too, there is a lot to be said for anonymous posting

I stopped posting for a number of reasons

I felt that my posts were always negative and I wanted to inspire people that life wasn't always terrible and despite suffering a lifetime of debt you could do this, after all if I could do it anyone could. With DD losing her job then having to walk away from job 2 this really put the pressure on an already overloaded me..................I got myself into the world of constant self attack mode and this was being seen in my postings.

DD did get job no 3 and although its a lot less salary it's a far better job.

During the summer, 25th July to exact, I woke to being blind in one eye, my central vision was completely blurred and dark, over the next few days that changed to include sparkly lights, not migraine flashes or blood pressure ones but like a mass of electric eels writhing around. I found it very difficult to operate, my eyes were used to working together, the strain on my good eye was horrendous. After a few days I went to the opticians and went straight to hospital for tests. They found nothing wrong with my eye itself and declared it was in my brain :eek::eek:

Resulting MRI and tests couldn't find anything and they were quite nasty because I wanted to talk about the possibility of MS, not that I was panic stricken I just needed to know my odds for forward planning. They dismissed me as being hysterical, work was no better and I was told "I was making a big deal over nothing when other people here had proper health issues to worry over" OH didn't mention it at all...................he said "you know I hate hospitals and stuff" .................So high and dry with no support, yet again. I did pin OH down in the end and he did say he just didn't want to make me worry more, I said well your lack interest comes across as uncaring!!!

My eyesight did come back slowly and my GP put things very well "most people with MS start with an optical nerve disturbance but not all people who have an optical nerve disturbance develop MS" .....perfect, exactly what I wanted.

I can plan just in case.

2016 has been the year for big :idea: moments starting with op my mortgage, then came walking (not going to hit 1000 miles but hey who gives a ) then came bullet journal, just brilliant. Next up was KM'ing, a slow process but that's not a race either.

Last but not least is YNAB, only been using it a few weeks so early days...............got to watch the youtube things I think as I'm trying to fit my old ways into it so am missing the point a bit :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

How have you all been......................good I hope. I hope life has been kind to you.

I turned 50 last week and having spent the day crying for the life that I have had and the life I should have had, I grasped the mettle and decided I am not single handedly responsible for lifes problems, I can only do what I can and I am human, if I don't forgive me then other won't :D

misscousinitt

Sue I am glad you are back.

What a rough time you have had.

You know that you can moan as much as you like - I certainly do!

Hope things are on the up for you. As you say, it's a marathon, not a sprint - take it one step at a time and I am sure it will al come right for you.

Take care.

MCI

SueP19

Thanks, I always seem to be having it rough lolol .................


.................I was so Genghis Khan in a former life :rotfl::rotfl:

misscousinitt

I know how grinding it can be when things seem to constantly be going wrong.

You are so good to keep a light heart with it though.

Keep moaning - we don't mind and if it helps you! - then all is good.

MCI x