Flo's Debt Free Diary

reality_check

That's good the tablets have kicked in and you're feeling better.

Having the weddings to focus on will keep you motivated!

You're credit rating can't be as bad as you think with offering an increase...it will be getting better now you're making over payments and not just the minimum :T

Hope you continue to feel better, writing things down helps so just keep posting even if it's not directly debt related, if it helps you xxx

Life2short

Well done Flo Jo!!! You have a real good in depth diary here which has made me look at myself in depth.


oh my days its the year of the weddings for me too, 5 infact, not looking forward to the expense.

Im subscribing hun look forwad to reading more.

Florence_J

Hi Guys,

Back in my home town seeing family over Easter. Just had a pre-arranged phone call with the counselling service at where i work to arrange a trial session of counselling sessions.

I do feel much better. I am taking each day as it comes. I am determined not to spiral into a full depression like I have in the past.

Anyway, some exciting news.

AQUA credit card wrote to me saying they had gone through the fees they had charged me and found an mistake, so are refunding me 13.94. Only a little but will all come off the total.

Also yesterday was Payday :j:beer::beer: so that meant i could pay my cards, woo. All my bills have been paid near enough now and i have 80 quid disposable income this month. I will try and save as much as possible, but i did go for drinks with two of my work colleagues yesterday (3.24 spent) bought hair dye (1 pound) oven cleaner (1 pound) and a new red lipstick (2.99) which led to a boy smiling at me today . The thing is i went in totally with a budget. I was only going to spend 3 quid max on a lipstick, i was going to see if i could get oven cleaner and hair dye in poundland and i did, and i was only going to spend 6 quid out with friends.

(Did totally spend 11.50 on a takeaway with my boyfriend though)

Also, as i'm sure you all remember i have the household food budget spread sheet each month and maybe my boyfriend bought things and lost the receipts but somehow we were over 10 quid within budget!

Also my expenses spreadsheet for March shows i have definitely spent much less money.

I will post what i have paid off my credit cards in a second, i just need to work them out first.

Happy Easter everyone! :easter_ba

Florence_J

Thanks for all the support everyone. Just realised I can't post how much i've paid off just yet as all my information is at home in Wales. Oh well, it will be something to post soon.

Florence_J

So far the best thing about visiting my family is when i got home from travelling, it took a little while for me to get my keys out of my bag and i could hear someone in the house. We have a net screen window on the front door which means people inside the house can see out but i can't see in. Anyway i wondered why whoever was in the house didn't let me in, so when i opened the door and saw it was my little brother he looked at me confused and said "That was you? I didn't recognise you. Have you lost weight?" Yes I have! 10 pounds!!!!!

Florence_J

THINGS TO DO OVER EASTER

See my two best friends
Discuss wedding with best friend T (I'm going to be one of her Bridesmaids!!!!)
See Best Mate M's new house
Go to gym 1-3 times
Do 1-2 Runs
Clear old computer of valuable files
Research and sort out how to get rid of old computer
Shred old letters
Back up work on computer
Go to Hospital Appointment

Florence_J

So i'm a bit annoyed and i don't know how to describe it without sounding like a brat.

In February I visited my family and gave them a birthday present list of suggestions based on the idea that I would be visiting at Easter, which is a few days before my birthday, and would be a good chance to celebrate.

Twice this weekend I've had family members (my little brother and my grandpa) say 'Is it someone's birthday this weekend? It feels like it is?'

And just now my dad came up to me with the list I gave him in Feb and asked what I wanted. Except he didn't really ask, he just asked me to explain what the items on the list are, not asking me my preference.

So aside from the present from one of my sisters I have nothing from my family.

I know I sound like a brat here, and I'm not trying to be, but I have trouble getting excited about my birthday and I have done ever since I was a teenager because things like this happen. Because my family forget to get me presents, or get my something after my birthday, it just makes me feel unloved. I know I am loved, and this actually has nothing to do with their love for me, it's just that they are very unorganised (i expect this has happened because my step mum is on holiday with her friends-she's the organised one)

And to be honest my birthday is going pretty badly. I created a facebook event for my birthday and invited around 50 friends and 2 people plus my boyfriend said they could make it, and no one else even responded. It just depressed me and because I was going through a depressed/anxious/bad mental health stage I cancelled the birthday party.

I just feel like I can't rely on anyone. Other than my boyfriend and his family.

It's really hard for me to care about my birthday when all my life I've seen other people not care about it.

It's times like this I wish I never mentioned my birthday. I wish no one knew about it. To save me this embarrassment and hurt. It's a lot easier to pretend to yourself that no one cares because they just didn't know about it, rather than because they don't care about you.

I know i shouldn't care. The people that matter will care, my family will get round to getting me a present, my super reliable mum will get her card to me on my birthday and probably do what she usually does which is ring me at 1.18pm and say 'this is the time you were born!!!!" and i'm going out for a meal with my boyf and his family on my actual birthday. And it's Wrestlemania and the NXT Take Over on my birthday weekend, so i will see people.

note3

Sorry to read lots of positives and then a down post. Birthdays can be awful when you're older. I won't go into details but mine are no longer special either so i never mention it and just see it as another day most of the time. It's good you have ppl around who will make it feel special at the time so cling to that and just enjoy the time with your family til then

Florence_J

I feel really bad for venting now. My family aren't bad people and nothing that happened over my stay there was due to a lack of love. They are just very disorganised people! The thing is they are disorganised with things to do (such as remembering appointments and birthdays) but i would say they have very organised minds, whereas I appear organised and calm on the outside but my mind is chaos!

I think I was feeling bad because I've noticed that my dad is getting older, and he keeps making comments whenever I see him about taking my cats back to wales with me (i got them when i was 12 and have always lived in the family house). If i could afford the insurance and food and had a better garden/didn't live near two mega busy roads then i would consider it but the cats are 15 now and i think they have a good quality of life with my dad. So now i'm wondering if he's struggling financially and if i should send money home to help with the costs, but i really can't afford anything extra and i wasn't financially responsible for them when i was 12.

I keep forgetting that although I feel about 15 sometimes I'm actually basically 27 and that means my dad is 65 later this year and just because i've always known him to be strong and capable doesn't mean he is.

I think my emotions are all over the place. I recently got told by my doctor there is a good chance i have PCOS as my hormones are much higher levels then they should be. Maybe this explains why I chop and change between being happy and sad.

Good news is i had a great chat with my friend who is getting married and she said one thing she wanted was for her bridesmaids to not have to pay for their dresses, so all i've got to do is find a sage green calf length dress and her mum will refund me, and she also said i could stay at her familys house to save on accommodation costs. This does mean i feel i should get her a really big wad of money (they want money as gifts)

I bought a pair of shoes for 7 pounds in the M&S sales and two notebooks whilst visiting my family. Unfortunately I started looking in shops like Monsoon for wedding outfit ideas (for my friends wedding this year) and saw a beautiful one which i foolishly tried on and fell in love with how beautiful it was, and it's 59 pounds. Maybe, maybe, if i calculate the costs of christmas and the two weddings and find i can afford it, and maybe if i get loads of money for my birthday, then i'll buy it. It really is one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen. But i do feel this is a little like falling into bad habits-the idea of justifying a purchase to myself as something i must have, and rushing out for the first thing i see, and spending money the instant it comes in.

Plus i would have to buy shoes and accessories to match.

In other news nothing too much has changed with my latest credit report. Still the same score, still the same amount of positives and negatives, it will take time to build up again. It does show me what the average person is like in my area and i'm doing slightly better than them!

Florence_J

THINGS TO DO OVER EASTER

[STRIKE]See my two best friends
Discuss wedding with best friend T (I'm going to be one of her Bridesmaids!!!!)
See Best Mate M's new house[/STRIKE]
Go to gym 1-3 times - I still have tomorrow off work, will go then
Do 1-2 Runs-again will have to do tomorrow
[STRIKE]Clear old computer of valuable files[/STRIKE]-YES
Research and sort out how to get rid of old computer
[STRIKE]Shred old letters[/STRIKE]
Back up work on computer
Go to Hospital Appointment