Flo's Debt Free Diary

Kitten868

You're doing brilliantly so you're prioritising the big debt? You are good. I'm attacking the little ones. I need to close one soon. I need a win soon as its feeling a bit endless. Have you thought about the save to buy isa idea? I think it'd be a good idea for oh too - for all that money he's now saving. I think it's at a maximum of £200 a month each. In a year you'd have £4800 together. Even if you never pay him £20k you'll still do something great for him X

Popstess

Wow I've just read your diary from start to finish! You're doing so well. I agree with another poster who said you should start a blog you really should you write well and your enthusiasm is very motivating you would help others through your blog as well as organising yourself.
Good luck on your journey, I'm subscribing

Florence_J

Thank you for all the kind words everyone. Writing has always been my number one passion which is doing this has come so easily to me because i'm the sort of person who feels anxious if i don't have a pen and paper in my hand to write in. Seriously, even in the cinema watching a film i have a notepad on my lap!!

Friday night after the noodle box i ordered a very small ASDA delivery for the next evening (quite late so cheaper delivery), did a brief food shop in the morning from places where i had compared the prices and knew that things were cheaper, and noticed a lovely new charity shop had opened and wandered in. Everything was, and always will be one pound. I came away with a lovely tin in the shape of a red double decker bus (i collect tins and nice looking boxes) and a paid of pink and purple wedge sandals from new look which looked pretty much new, total spend 2 quid (and 10p for the bag).

I bought my boyfriend something i've wanted to get him for a long time as part of his birthday present...i'm going to have to explain it a little...i got him a pink metal toilet brush and case! You may think why would you get him that? It's because he likes cleaning the bathroom, and everything in our bathroom is pink (which is one of his favourite colours) and i can tell he never liked the blue cheap plastic one we had before. total cost 2.49 (thank you home bargains).

We saw the film The Hateful 8 for free through our volunteer work, walked home, and had a nice dinner before Asda man arrived and watched the X Files. In the morning i went to the library to pick up a book i had ordered (i think this is the longest i have gone without buying a book in a very very long time).

Today i went to meet my friend who is getting married this year to discuss her wedding. I had budgeted 6 quid for our breakfast. I spent...5.63 (i had 10% discount card). I told her all about my debt problem and how i wanted as much info as possible so i can prepare for it, and she was so supportive and loved how enthusiastic i was about my finances and i have volunteered to help her do budgetting and spreadsheet account work for her wedding, as she admitted she was finding it difficult. yay.

The total cost of the wedding looks like it would be good to save up 250 quid, which is not too impossible, and this is the worst case scenerio cost in case i need to stay in a hotel, because she and her partner may organise a coach to and from Brecon back to Cardiff. So with a birthday coming up, possible refund from my energy supplier when i change to the new one, and many things to sell, it's very very possible. She mentioned what she wants to do for her hen do (zip wiring and trampolining in north wales, and as much as it sounds like my idea of heaven i have to be realistic, so i told her unless something dramatically changed to my finances, i wouldn't be going. Going to the wedding is all i need.

I went to the shops afterwards and i was on a super scrimpers challenge. I could do with more work clothes, as well as a new bra and pj bottoms, so i set myself a budget of 30 quid to see what i could find.

From Tenovus charity shop i got a blue fishtail dress from New Look (size 16! i have lost weight) 4.99, peacock feather top 5 quid, black jumper dress from peacocks (my favourite store) WHICH STILL HAD THE PRICE TAGS ON 3.99 and a yellow jumper from Marks and Spencers (my favourite colour in clothes for 2.99. Then onto Peacocks where i bought two fleecey pj bottoms for 3 quid each and a bra for 4 quid. Total spend, 27.02 pounds. I just need to turn sorting out my birthday celebrations into a superscrimpers challenge as well.

I will update you with what i have discovered from my end of month spreadsheets tomorrow.

Oh and finally two things:

I said to my friend today (and this is what i truly believe) that getting into debt was the best thing to ever happen to me, and thank god it happened when it did, as i now know how to sort out my finances to be secure in the future.

And finally chatting to my boyfriend today he said "This is the happiest I've ever seen you"

xxxx

Florence_J

So, the data from February finances has been compiled.

I spent 20 pound less in Feb then in January

My money in and money out seem to add up (whereas in January the figures didn't seem to add up and i couldn't tell where some money had come from/gone)

In January i spent over 100 on 'non essential food' (food like lunches at the canteen, breakfast at the train station and snacks) in February i spent ....just over 20.

I spent over 100 quid on 'health' (the much needed dentist was included but it was mainly nicotine gum) now that i am nicotine free i only spent 22 pounds.

The bad news is because of a long term health condition (bowel infection) i have used up all my sick days (fully paid ones) already at my work. So whenever i am next off ill i will be at half pay. I had two days off ill in Feb due to a nasty cold. So that will come off March's pay.

In addition to that, not knowing how holiday requests were done at my job, i ended up booking too much holiday and because the dates involved days i had booked off (last october) for hospital appointments in march, i couldn't cancel them and even worse i have one allergy test on one day and one allergy test on the next day, so i have to take two unpaid days off work.

Which means, according to my calculations, even taking into account overtime my manager has kindly arranged for me to do after discovering all this had happened this weekend, i will be around 200 pounds shorter on my pay packet at the end of march.

So i have three solutions.

1) Paid just the minimum on all cards, and survive on the tiny amount of money i will have as disposable income.

2) Pay bills as normal (overpayments) and when i get sizable refund from current energy supplier after i switch, instead of putting that towards the wedding use it to fund April. Or

3) Ask my boyfriend if i can take another month off paying the rent.

Just realised there is an obvious 4th option

4) Sell everything!

Could do a combo.

The old me would have borrowed the money off the boyf and be done with it. Part of me is excited about seeing how far i can stretch 25 in a month if i don't sell anything. Part of me is excited about seeing how much money i can make.

I feel this is a real test. Do i take the easy option (borrow money off my kind boyfriend) or do i challenge myself (sell, scrimp and save). Also do i keep to my goal of over paying so i can get out of debt sooner? or do i panic and just pay the minimum?

I've come very far, i don't want to give it all up now.

Also, because i plan and budget, i know roughly what i'll be looking at NOW, technically still in February. I face up to my problems. When i first started collecting my bad credit cards i used to put the letters from the companies in a box as i was too scared to open them. One day i faced them and realised what a !!!! i had been. I now LOVE getting letters from the bank.

The fact is, i live on negative income as my pay goes into my overdraft. I will be lucky if i have 100 pounds disposable (non allocated to bills and expenses money) income each month this year. My work colleague bought a Mulberry handbag at the weekend.

And i honestly don't care. I would rather save my money now, i would rather live on little, i would rather have to plan that the next time i can afford to buy hair dye (for my premature grey hairs) is in two months time-even if i'm getting it from poundland!

I know what's important to me now. I don't have to impress anyone with my clothes. I spent all my money on clothes because i was unhappy with my body and was too depressed to do anything about it and just wanted to do something to make myself look nice.

I am stronger now, i have more confidence, and bizarrely i've discovered that using that economy sized 1 pound bottle of shampoo from savers i had previously turned my nose up has made my hair look the best it ever has.

So my challenge for the next two months. Stick to my guns. Stick to my values. Make money. Save money. Bring in money. Superscrimp. Be a Money Saving Expert. Make Martin Lewis proud of what he has inspired others to do. And most of all make myself proud of me.

I know i have all of your backing to hold me to it. I won't let you, or myself, down.

Florence_J

I had an extremely bad phone call today at work. Couldn't make sense of what the person on the phone was saying and asked if they could start again and they asked if i was on drugs, which is an incredibly offensive thing to say. The call got so bad that i ended up taking time away from my desk and i'm ashamed to say i cried at work, but everyone was super nice.

I feel a bit numb though. I won't go on a rant about how you should treat call centre staff better as 'they're people too' as i'm sure everyone on here is grown up enough to realise that, but it's trolling, saying to someone something incredibly offensive that you'd be too chicken to say in person.

I had my one to one with my boss very soon after that and she was lovely and said only positive things about me, so i shouldn't let one bad phone call ruin a job which i love.

He was a complete t*** I've had bad phone calls in the past, phone calls where the person really wants to challenge my intelligence, and i would rather have ten of the previous bad phone calls then the one i had today.

But i don't want to let him ruin me. I carried on with my work and at the end of the day i had a phone call where the person said i was so helpful and i had lifted a huge weight off their shoulders and they hoped that i had a nice day.

So am i going to let one t*** take away all the good? I can't pretend i am in the best of spirits now, but no, i won't let him ruin me.

Which led me to realise something.

Previously when ever i'm stressed/depressed/angry i would either eat or buy myself something. Despite the fact my colleague had bought in cookies, i didn't have any to cheer me up. Despite the fact i was at the station, with a sore throat, and was hungry, i didn't buy a drink or anything to eat. My boyfriend has bought me an early easter egg, and i haven't eaten it.

I really feel like i've learnt how to look after myself, both financially and with my finances.

Bad day on the finances front was that i spent some money getting the bus into the station. The thing is this is really bad, because i get my monthly train ticket from my local station to my job in Bristol, so i really don't need to get the bus into town for my connecting train in the morning. It is only because i run late in the morning that i need to get the bus.

So that is something i want to work on, new month, new goals.

I hope for a better day at work tomorrow, today did end on a high, but i just don't want anymore bad phone calls.

I hope everyone else is doing well. x

note3

Sorry to hear about that call. Sounds like he was a bit of a bully.

You're doing so well, the progress you're making is huge! Your spending challenges put me to shame. I need to do better with shopping budget and take inspiration from you

anita55

Me too about the bully, we get them all the time where I work, (not a call centre face to face) and why people think they can intimidate you is beyond reasoning, perhaps they have their insecurities, but it does affect you and spoils your day so appreciate what you are saying. I always talk nicely to call centres and shop assistants because you don't no who was the person in front of you. xx Hope you have a better day tomorrow.


Well done on the Easter egg, I would have eaten the lot lol xxx

Florence_J

I've been struggling with what to write. I have been avoiding coming on here in the same way i've been quiet and withdrawn at work and a mess of emotions with my boyfriend. Just a few weeks ago I felt incredible. I felt on top of the world. I felt like I could achieve anything and everything.

Now I feel that I'm depressed again.

The bad phone at work didn't really cause it, I think i was heading this way anyway.

I've become afraid of people. I'm afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing. I'm too scared to make mistakes. Since my job is giving out information and talking to people, either on the phone or more recently in person, you can imagine how difficult this is.

I'm currently on a business trip of sorts for a University fair. I am with two other people so it is manageable, but I am finding it really difficult to engage with people. I'm scared of them. I'm scared of not knowing the answers to their questions. I can't just say I don't know the answer. I feel like I'm letting everyone down by not knowing everything. I know this is stupid. I know this is unrealistic-No one can know everything-but because i expect myself to i can't forgive myself if i don't.

I am finding it hard to be motivated about anything. I haven't gone on any spending sprees, like i used to, I haven't gone on any eating binges, but I don't really feel good about myself or happy. I have a great life, but i can't seem to enjoy it.

I had to tell my work i am suffering from stress. I had to tell them that i can't cope with the same work that my colleagues can easily cope with. I had to tell them i have failed. I know they won't see it that way, they've been nothing but supportive, but i feel like i've failed. What can i cope with work wise? Can i cope with anything? I don't know. It seems like i can only go so long before i reach breaking point and fail.

I'm lonely. I miss my boyfriend. I don't know if my happiness is real, or if it is my sadness that is real. I don't know if both exist as part of life. I don't know what i'm good at. I don't know what i can do. I just feel like i've let everyone down. I just want to be happy. What happened to make it go away.

Florence_J

Ok, this is how things stand. My anti-psychotic medicine has increased after visiting the doctors and explaining how i had been feeling. This seems to be working. I am gradually feeling more and more positive. I felt incredibly down today and struggled walking home after work. I lacked the energy to focus.
I came home and my boyfriend knew something was up and tried to distract me. I had decided that i wasn't going to let my mental health ruin my evening, i tried really hard to focus on the positives, and it worked. I went from feeling -1 moodwise to around 6. I now feel about 8 out of ten.

I understand that my last post wasn't really about finances, and it seems to have scared people away. I feel better now. I wouldn't say i'm 100%, but i'm getting there. I'm suffering from depression/anxiety again, but i won't let it ruin my life.

I am a new Flo. I don't go on spending sprees. I don't go on eating binges, and i don't let my mental health ruin my life.

Good news. I am well on track to save up all the money i need for the now TWO WEDDINGS (not mine sadly, but my bestest friend is getting married next year) and christmas. Also my bad bad credit card wrote to me telling me they are increasing my limit my 750. And i will not spend it or touch it at all.

I'm back.

Bobarella

Sorry you've been feeling so bad. Certainly haven't scared me away simply hadn't seen your post. Sometimes it is so busy on here..you sound like you are feeling much better since your last post?