Time to grow up.

Megano

Thursday
I say to the FM. I'll treat you to lunch. We walk in, grab a table and place our order mine was for my favorite chicken, cherizo and chickpea stew *can someone please get me the recipe?!* and then the FM was like I'll have the soup (at this point I was like WINNING!) but the order didnt stop. Can I also have 2 sandwiches, a side order of chips and some drinks.
- 2 Sandwiches FM? You must be hungry
^Nah I'll take one to work :mad:
So we eat, we laugh, we talk about the OH.
^Right Megano I need to head to work.
- Cool! See you later FM!
I get up go to the till hand over my bank card and the waitress was like that will be £30.30 I was like WHAT?!?! and she said the amount again without blinking.

So I took the till reciept and explained the whole story in great detail to everyone at work.

Friday
£15.76in Tescos buying what could be described as a sugar addicts wet dream. Malteresers, celebrations, doughnuts and *cough* fizzy juice for me *cough*. No excuses but Im trying to bride my team and manager to keep me on after two weeks because "team morale and attitude" is a major factor.
Since Tuesday my NPS (for those who dont know when you get off the phone to a call center you'll get a text message. How was the adviser? How was the company? Would you recommend us? All these reply's make up your NPS = Net Promoter Score. The higher the score the happier you make your manager) has increased dramatically and my team have been signing my praises. Ive only got 3 more shifts in work until I find out whats happening but Im still quietly confident (80%) that I'll be made permanent.

Saturday
I honestly don't know where to start as you'll need some background info
The OH's brother (my BIL) is a recovering heroin addict (lovely guy) but has made some poor poor choices and been in jail more times than if you played monoplay in order to fund his habit.
Before he went to jail last time his girlfriend (also a recovering addict) fell pregnant. BIL did his time, came out and his son (my nephew) was 1. He's trying to clean up his life but his girlfriend not so much and because of there situation social workers are involved.
Last Saturday BIL GF gets money for Christmas and wants to go out and do drugs. BIL didn't want to caused a massive argument and she kicked him out
BIL GF disappears with nephew, no one knows where she is. Social workers cant find her so a missing person is reported. Someone says they've seen her. Social workers take nephew off her and place him at MIL. Wheres he's been since Monday.
Emergency social work meeting they decide for the next 6 weeks neither nephew's mum or dad can see him and if BIL is seen around his mums nephew will go into foster care.
Since then BIL- Ex-GF has been making life hell. Calling the police on BIL with false allegations.
OH and I took him to ASDA's with a trolley and said what do you need?
He bought towels, microwave, milk, coffee, razors, shower gel and a new cheap !!! phone. (a new number as Ex-GF is saying hes harassing her *which would be impossible as he hasn't had his mobile since she threw him out*
Came to £107.77

Willowpop

Megano! Hello!
What a crazy few days you've been having!
I feel for you re the family, nice of you to help the BIL, even if it was a bit expensive!
Spending diaries do open your eyes don't they? It's amazing how easy it is to throw money away with a quid here, 3 quid there.

Would it be better if you only to cash out with you rather than a card...that way you can't go over budget.
Also, re the sweet treats for your team..have a Google of either microwave fudge or slow cooker fudge (if you have a slow cooker) . It's super simple to make, mega cheap and delicious. Perhaps making the occasional batch of fudge would save you a few quid too?
Still have my fingers crossed for you getting that contract made permanent.

rogue999

Hi Megano - just dropping in to say HI. Sounds like you've had a stressful week. Keep up with the spending diary.
Hope you get some good news soon from W1 x

Megano

Thanks for your reply guys I think stressful is a little bit of an understatement its more "what can that crazy cow do next?!?"

As I mentioned in an earlier post if OH's Mum who has my favorite little person aka the nephew (FLP) shes in her early 60's and OH's dad is in his late 60's both coming down with the flu because of stress so OH and I took FLP to softplay £4.50 for 2 hours.
We've been a few times before and for a 2 year old he has no fear what so ever and would rather do his own thing than you follow him around but over the last few days hes been so clingy! If you werent practically 2 steps behind him he would just cry. Poor little mite. How can you explain whats happening to a 2 year old?
Being an idoit I forgot to pack snacks so its was £10.10 for juice and snacks for all of us then it was back to OH's Mum's.
Social work dropped stuff off for FLP like clothes but BIL - exGF is being a "see you next Tuesday" and has packed clothes her and BIL were going to donate with are far too small for FLP. So it was a case of back to ASDA's to get clothes that will fit him like socks, baby grows, a coat, a jumper.
Another £35 gone but when we went to pay OH realized he lost my bank card :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: and put it on his CC.

Its heartbreaking when everyone is running around getting presents for Christmas OH's family and I are having to run around after that !!!!!.
It just seems for the next while everything is going to be up in the air its going to be a case of work, work, work, do something with FLP and save the day.

Megano

The BIL -exGF body was found yesterday after taking her own life.
The details are still really unclear, we're not even sure if she left a note but what I do know is shes left behind a teenage son who's heartbroken and a 2 year who doesn't have the faintest idea of what's going on. I went to see him yesterday and he was singing the wheels on the bus. I was just thinking you poor little soul. How can you explain to a toddler he wont be seeing mummy again?
BIL is in bits - honestly his world crumbled.
I feel so useless and responsible but deep down I know there was nothing I could do to prevent it (she had been talking of doing drugs and taking her own life before and last week when the social work couldn't find her they had the emergency meeting because she had taken FLP with her). I know she was having a hard time with the little one being taken off her but from what Im aware it was only temporary for 6 weeks plus she was still getting weekly visits and was going to get to see him for Christmas.
I know my earlier post doesn't show it but she loved her two boys and tried her best for them but unfortunately her issues and demons caught up with her.
She also could be really really funny before the whole situation I use to say that we were a family and anything she needed she just needed to pick up the phone.
I think Im going to take a break from the diary for a bit it just doesn't seem right worrying about a budget or making over payments at a time like this.

Willowpop

Ah Megano, so sorry to hear this news. That's terribly sad.
All you can do is to be there for the kids that she's left behind...it'll take them time to work out what has gone on and how to deal with it.
Your BIL too will need support.
And don't feel responsible...you are not to blame in any way for this.
It may be worth speaking to the social workers or the gp for the kids and seeing if there is any professional help out there who can help them make sense of the situation (not that there is any sense really).

It sounds like you have a good family around you and I'm sure you'll all pull together and do what you can, when you can.
Don't forget yourself as well though. You need to look after yourself as well. I understand concentrating on budgets is the last thing on your mind right now, but don't leave yourself in a worse position in the long run that you're in now..you still need to plan for yourself.

Again, so sorry to hear this, must be a shock for you all.:( xx

EssexHebridean

Ahh that really is sad to hear. The toddler is the least of the concerns to be honest - if it;s allowed to the human brain has a remarkable ability to blank out stuff that it's healthier not to remember, and while growing up without his Mum will be tough, the teenager will suffer far more as a result of this awful situation. As Willowpop says, all you can do is to be there, but don't fall into the trap of throwing money at the situation - with the younger one hugs and one-to-one time are far more valuable right now, particularly when he hits the inevitable point of being clingy and weepy. as for the older one - just having someone to talk to and spend time with may well help massively. My heart goes out to them.

You say that you're going to take a break from the diary - only you know if that's right for you, but yes, sorting out your debt situation is still absolutely the right thing to do, still. More so if down the line you might be in a position to help these kids in a more practical way if you DO sort things out? Hope you get things sorted, whatever.

lincs1205

Megan I've just read your diary from start to finish. You sound like a lovely person I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean sometimes when put against things budgeting doesn't seem that important in the grander scheme of things. Big hugs xx

Megano

I just realized the longer I was in debt it would mean I couldn't do fun things with FLP (not saying you NEED money to have fun)or start a little trust fund for him. I promised BIL -exGF I would be the best Aunty in the world and thats what Im going to do so Im tracking down the wagon. (Goodbye spending diary until we meet again on payday so in 11 days!)
So both the OH and I decided to face the world as normal and go into work. Which hasnt been gone un-noticed everyone in the office [STRIKE]was[/STRIKE] is staring at me but then again I guess you dont see many people being escorted out a building in a flood of tears and then return the next day.
Had a meeting with the manager and as "tough love" as it sounds he's like your here to do your job so lets crack on I was like thats fine but I just want to be left alone. My NPS has increased (not as much as I would have liked) and a couple of calls have been listened to so its all looking positive for my probation. However today I needed to have an emergency holiday to sort some things out but I don't imagine that should affect anything. Due to the situation work have agreed to give me Christmas Day off.
BIL -exGF family are still pretty upset and looking for someone to blame, so we've been advised as a family we arn't welcome to the funeral. Which I guess is fine providing her eldest knows we are thinking of him (eldest is only 1/2 bro's with FLP so he's staying with his family.) They are lashing out blaming BIL, Social workers but I guess that's the normal grieving process.
I thought payday was next week and I was like WOW I have money left over! but it turns out Im a week ahead of myself so its going to be a close call.
Buying FLP a balance bike of Gumtree (£10) and taking him so see Santa on Sunday.

Willowpop

So nice to see you back, and what an incentive to become debt free.... you're right, the quicker you are out of debt the more money you'll be able to save....but don't feel bad about the right now....FLP needs your time, not your cash at the moment. Plus there are plenty of cheap/free things you can do with him.. The park is always a good one, especially with that balance bike. My daughter and I love to go on a 'treasure hunt' at the charity shops... I give her a couple of pounds and we go see what she can get...£2 or £3 often goes quite far... books are 25p, games often under £2 as well, kids jigsaws are around a quid... She's come out before now with an armful of stuff for a couple of quid. Happy kid, happy me and hardly any money spent. Sometimes there's not much in, but other times there are real treasures to be found.

Well done for getting back into work. Must have been hard, but often normal routine is good for you when the situation is far from normal (whatever normal is!)
I'll stop waffling, but it's good to have you back.