Time to grow up.

muppets

Sorry to hear that your day turned out so bad.

Sallyforth

Hello, I read your diary from the beginning today. I am trying to get to grips with my finances and having come out of a massive longstanding debt situation this year feel akin to folk still trying to deal with hit. However, the point you make about your Mum strikes such a chord with me and makes me sad. My Mum died last year and I always felt she hated me for whatever reason. I was her only child and led a reasonably privileged childhood funded in the main by her mother and my dad working full time. I still have my Dad thankfully but you know something - and this will sound awful - I was glad my Mum went first. You are doing such a fantastic job of living your life and you will get there eventually.

I will subscribe to your diary and try to help if I can. One thing I constantly questioned reading your diary though is "can OH subscribe a little more?". He sounds a great guy but you have to be on the same page and often I wonder if you aren't.

I will shut up there as everything I say is meant warmly and to help but I do know my written word can be misconstrued and I would hate that to be the case.

Take care.

Megano

Sallyforth wrote: »

I will subscribe to your diary and try to help if I can. One thing I constantly questioned reading your diary though is "can OH subscribe a little more?". He sounds a great guy but you have to be on the same page and often I wonder if you aren't.

I will shut up there as everything I say is meant warmly and to help but I do know my written word can be misconstrued and I would hate that to be the case.

Take care.

Don't be silly! Hello! Grab a seat.

I know there is loads of times where I feel like I'm basing my head against a brick wall with OH (and there are times when I would gladly smash his head against a brick wall :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:)
The truth is he has his own debt to pay (which is much larger than mine) so we agreed instead of combining the two we would tackle them separately - which may not seem ideal to some it seems to be working for us (well so far)

In terms of the "her" situation she phoned me up yesterday (like I knew she would) she didn't MEAN that OH's brother was a junkie and she didn't MEAN she would phone SS on FLP what she meant was that she would phone regarding BIL and MIL (which would have a knock on impact but on FLP but I couldn't be bothered explaining that one)
Instead of saying "I acted ridiculously. Im sorry" she took the "well its because you went and helped wrapped presents on Christmas Eve - you never offered with mine" approach
She say if I needed more time to pay her back I could take as long as I need - the fact of the matter is no matter what way you look at it she's stolen my holiday money so as soon as that money hits my account I'm transferring it to her and I can just pay OH back instead.

Managed to make a sneeky payment of £11.01 to the MBNA card - I should get my final wages from W3 and W4 its not going to be a massive amount but it will chip it away nicely.

W4 said they might need me to go back and clean the bookies but trying to get a straight answer from them is like trying to thread a needle in space. Ive lost count of how many texts Ive sent as far as Im concerned its a yes or no answer.


My mate put me forward for a part time befrienders job (which is like calling old folk everyday to check they are okay) i had the interview last week. I think it went okay they said I should find out before Friday so fingers crossed!

joeyjimbles

Wow what a whirlwind.
I'm massively lucky to have my parents and OH's parents in our lives, and my children too. But there is a lot of truth in the saying that 'you can't choose family' - and I think the sooner you are able to be financially separated from your Mum the best as it's one less difficulty. You clearly know her moods and MO so that will never be easy but it will at least be something to ride out, or ignore, as you see fit in the given situation.
I am sorry though - you clearly try very hard and its very unfair to be treated like that. I hope you know that it's her problem she is visiting on you, rather than a reflection of who you are.

Megano

So my mum called again - originally she wanted to turn what happened around on me "you never sent a card" "you never sent a gift" - all of which are true I didnt send a card as I donate to doctors without boarders instead and as for her gift its currently under my Christmas tree.
I was up all night being sick so was unable to go into W1 and thats when I decided enough was enough. i called her up and said we can fix this if you go to the doctors and get help managing your anger going forward and you apologise to OH and MIL and she's agreed to do all of the above. Its not a case of "lets swipe the slate clean" but its a start!
She offered to come and stay with us for New year but I explained it would be too soon - and she agreed.

I got a "thanks but no thanks" letter from the befriender place - honestly Im gutted as I really really wanted that part time job. Ive phoned up asking for feedback so who knows maybe next time!

Old W4 phoned me up offering me my old job back so I start again next Monday. Don't get me wrong its a pain because its everyday but its an extra £200ish a month so I can't complain.

Going out tonight with OH and my old flatmate and his wife. every time we are out together its a rush to pay the bill because it always ends up I insist and then he insists so its whoever can get the money to the waitress quickest!

Megano

Today I returned to work and have been informed because of yesterdays absence I have hit a trigger and will be taken to a displainary. I know its a company thing but in the grand scheme of it Ive had a total of 2 days off in 3 months! I know its based on occurences but come on. Give me a break! Its fine my manager is confident the worst that will happen is I will be given a written warning - the best case would be no action taken (that way it wouldn't affect my bonus quarterly bonus)

Anyway today I recieved the last of W3 pay so I was able to make an extra payment of £41.40 towards the MNBA card and there has been a £50 DD taken meaning in the 1st week along since giving myself a good shake I've been able to pay a total 2.5% off my debt! I wonder if its the same as loosing weight you start of really strong with massive numbers and then it goes more manageable :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

So mum has decided to give me my holiday money back - Im not sure how I feel about it. Like on one hand I'm really happy because we managed to save up £770 but on the other hand I hope its not something she can hold over me again.

Bobarella

Hi Megano

I just wanted to say that I have read your whole diary in the last 24 hours. I can't imagine how emotionally difficult it must have been/still is, to think you are going to adopt a child, one you already love dearly, and then to find it off the cards seemingly completely. The ongoing relationship with BIL and your own Mum must also be so wearing for you. I want to wish you all the very best for 2017. You work so hard. And that will get you where you want to be more than anything else. Good luck Megan.

Bob

Florence_J

Bobarella wrote: »

Hi Megano

I just wanted to say that I have read your whole diary in the last 24 hours. I can't imagine how emotionally difficult it must have been/still is, to think you are going to adopt a child, one you already love dearly, and then to find it off the cards seemingly completely. The ongoing relationship with BIL and your own Mum must also be so wearing for you. I want to wish you all the very best for 2017. You work so hard. And that will get you where you want to be more than anything else. Good luck Megan.

Bob

I agree with Bob, as someone who has been reading your diary for around about a year I had forgotten just how much you have gone through in the last year alone. You work incredibly hard and I'm sure I echo many readers thoughts when I say you will be able to smash your debts.

lauzt1987

I too have been following your diary for about a year but don't post very much. You are doing amazingly well and I honestly don't know how you manage to cope with everything life seems to throw at you!

I can completely empathise with the Mum issues. I cut my Mum out my life nearly 2 years ago and although it breaks my heart, I could no longer stand the negativity and the chaos that was her life. She constantly brought me down and it was severely impacting upon my mental health.

Wishing you well for 2017!

Megano

Thanks for all the love guys - it's really appreciated. Honestly I'm not doing anything special just putting one foot forward in front of the other hoping not to trip over!

The manager at the bookies is so happy to see me! It turns out when I "left" the job was given to someone else who never showed up for 2 weeks :eek::eek::eek: so when he heard I was coming back he looked really thrilled to see me.
The company are looking for another cleaner in another store (maybe like 20 minutes away from the house) and they have offered me the keys. Now normally I would jump up and down whilst biting his hand off but it would need to be done either after 10.30pm or before 7am - 7 days a week.
So if I did take it on and did do it in the morning I would need to get up round about 5.30am
So currently with the bookies Im getting £80.64 per fortnight - if I took on the other one it would go up to £161.28.
Argh! Im not really sure what to do :(

Poor OH is getting hit with unexpected costs left right and centre. We were driving and I heard like rattling so we pulled over and it turns out one of his tyres had literally blown out so we went to the local garage and it turns out because one had went the other back one was following suit - 2 new tyres later. OH was down £190 odd

Rounded all my bank accounts down and was able to make an overpayment of £17.90 - Almost at a whole 3% towards my debts gone - I'm determined to rid of it this year. Who knows afterwards before I start on the forever home fund might learn to drive