Time to grow up.

KxMx

One piece of advice my Mum gave me after working for an Estate Agent for years was to never be a guarantor. For anyone.

Another poster is right, could you even afford it if he defaults with your debts.

JustAboutThere

As much as you want to help BIL, do your sums and consider what position would it leave you in if he defaults? Tally it all up and see what your budget is if you have to include paying his bills.

Hopefully this wouldn't be the case, but you can only make your decision when you've got all the figures in front of you.

Good luck.

Megano

Dear Diary - please excuse my writing. I cant stop my hands from shaking.

For St Patrick's day I went out with my team and the rest is a blur. There was many many shots, ribs and 2 pitchers of sex on the beach and my bank balance hates me for it! I must be £70-£80 down but to make up for it I chipped away my overdraft by £60! :j:j:j
It was good though I feel like this is the first time Ive really let my hair down with the team since BIL -exGF situation. When she done that I dunno it was like a switch was flipped and I kinda just got focused on being debt free. Like I want to be debt free but not if its going to make me on the outside of my work friends. Once in a while is not a bad thing.

Other news - in terms of BIL I have no idea what OH is going to do about this guarantor situation. Honestly Im sick about hearing about it. The letting agent was saying to BIL that even though he is applying for housing benefit by the time its processed he may need to pay 2 months rent and he's like that's fine, no worries and Im like! Last week you were struggling to find a deposit and now everythings fine and great! Like OH said to BIL "Look I'll do it but Im NOT going to pay for you" and Im like err OH....maybe you should look up guarantor in the dictionary.
OH got a loan to pay off his CC debts which is great its going to save him so much money but part of me is thinking thats great but if it was me I would maybe have gotten a larger loan and helped my partner of 8 years clear her debt quicker? Screw it! It means when I DO clear my debts it will be my victory.

I bought MIL flowers for Mother's Day (as OH was down in London) and it total it came to £54.00 inculding delievery and Ive never been more disappointed with flowers in all my life it looks like someone stopped off at a petrol station, picked up a couple of bunchs and tied them together plus! They completely wilted after 2 days (not that they looked too healthy to begin with) and the florist I used isnt willing to give me a refund! They gave me a stem count and was like "look at the retail cost of flowers and that's what you got" and Im like are you out of your f**king mind? - if I wanted to give my MIL dying flowers before they went to the great beyond I would have given her a houseplant Ive "cared" the thing thats really annoying me I paid for it on the CC and OH is like why are you making such a big deal of it. Amazingly he offered to pay for it but as soon as it comes time to transfer the cash thats when we have a change of subject.

Mum's BF was out (is it weird when your mum has boyfriends?) visiting us for a couple of days. He's decent you give him keys and he does his own thing but I think he might be heading home to an ear bashing. Mum called me and was like did he treat you and OH to dinner? Nope... Did he buy you anything as a thank you? Nope.... Well what did he say? He'll paint my flat for me. That's nice! Yeah he's just got to work out how much he's going to charge me first
^awkward silence^
Next time I know phone cuts dead and he gets a text message to phone mum NOW!

News. news. news oh one more thing

IM GOING TO LONDON TO SEE MUSE

Im very very very excited. I was speaking to BB and I was telling him all the tourist stuff I wanted to do and he was like Megano. Let me stop you right there.
We are leaving on the Monday by bus back on the Tuesday by bus we wont have time to do tourist. At first I was disappointed but then I realized its the best of both worlds as it means I can do all the tourist things I wanted to do with OH and still go see a great gig with BB.

KxMx

Megano how about approaching your CC for a charge back on the flowers? Dispute the transaction etc. Can't hurt surely?

Megano

PAYDAY! - Again
We start off with a sneeky payment of £150 towards the overdraft finally making me under the £2000 mark!
I applied for a money balance transfer credit card which was accepted :j:j:j but the credit limit was only £500 :(:( so after speaking to the OH [STRIKE]we[/STRIKE] I thought it was best just to carry on. Technically it means I'll be paying slightly more in interest in the long run but I think I made the right choice.

Remember how I was telling you about W1 bonus due in April? Well I may have taken my eye off the ball and instead of getting £250 like I was planning I might only be walking away with £100 (that is if I get anything) however its not over! I'm on holiday until Wednesday 30th which means the day I return I need to be super super nice to my customers and hopefully get my NPS score back up but I guess this is what I get for mentally spending money I don't have.

My holiday is so OH and I can take FLP back home to my mum's farm. Unfortunately we are too early for lambs or ducklings or anything tiny animal like. That's if we even get to go my bro texted me today saying there is talks of the ferry being cancelled due to the wild weather home is expecting! Hopefully we will get away it will do FLP to have a change of scene and give PIL as well as BIL a little break - there has been no further updates with the BIL situation which is good. He's keeping his head down and trying to find a place to live.
I think maybe Ive been a little harsh to BIL because Ive been on the sidelines like "yeah yeah whatever BIL - prove me wrong. Prove that your not just an ex-addict and you DESERVE to have your kid" but after speaking to OH there has to be a last time BIL goes to jail - maybe FLP has given BIL the reason he needs to sort himself out.
I guess time will tell.

So on Sunday Y and I had tickets go to see Ru Paul's Battle of the Seasons - which Y paid for and I was going to give her back the cash or pay for dinner. The problem is Y had to bail out giving me both the tickets with the strict instruction I was still to go as she didnt want me to miss out so I [STRIKE]took[/STRIKE] dragged OH along thing is Im in a little pickle. Do I now need to pay for both the tickets which would be £95 :eek::eek::eek: or do I give her the £45 or do I take her out to dinner? Im not really sure what to do Ive found myself in a grey situation

The trip to London is all booked up but it looks like its going to be a killer, with no time to do tourist attractions. We leave Glasgow on Monday at 8.30 and don't get into London until 5.30 and the next day we leave at 12.30 and don't get home until 10pm :eek::mad::eek::mad::eek: since my BB paid for a trip to Manchester last year to see a singer called Lykke Li (YouTube her. I think she's really good especially I follow rivers) (hotel, bus concert tickets) I said I would get the hotel and bus for MUSE which has just worked out to be over £120 all together (hotel was booked through TCB of course)


Things were I went wrong this month

• As great as it was it has to be the team night out - just glancing at my bank statements it worked out to be over £70 and the worst thing it I bought food which I couldnt even look at without feeling sick and I was a little too plastic happy in buying rounds
• I failed my mission to get off the fizzy juice affecting my hips and my pockets
• Failed to prepare meals to take into work so again making made dashs to tescos
• Eating out too often

HOWEVER this whole month there hasn't been a single taxi

Megano

Feeling really really fed up with the whole debt busting situation. Like I know the totals are going down but Ive not really seen any benefits of that. Just seems all my W2 wages and extra income are getting thrown down the overdraft well which is why I'm maybe feeling slightly "f*ck it!"

NPS was brilliant but going down meaning Im not getting as much of a bonus- screw it!
Cancelling a W2 shift so can go out and get !!!!ed with the team - why not?
Counting down the minutes until both jobs finish (not that I was an eager beaver in the first place - sounds about right!
Not volunteering to work extra hours at W2 when the rota allows me.

Im really annoyed and frustrated at myself. Annoyed because I allowed myself to keep floating down the river of denial for so long and frustrated because I want to know that all this effort is going go to be worth it.

So I clear my debts. Great! Than what? I get to save up for a house? WOW and how long is that going to take?

So unless some great great Aunty Emma on my dad's side 5 times removes leaves me a small fortune it seems like Im going to be at this a while and its just exhausting.
Im doing everything possible to raise vouchers for the Christmas fund - Shop and scan, bounts, selfie lottery, receipt hog and its like Im getting nowhere pretty fast and that's the thing its just me doing all this! Why is OH not taking photos of receipts and uploading them or making sure he does enough "qualifying steps" everyday? - I know we decided not to combine our debts because of the difference in amounts and wages but mon to f**k is he not going to buy Christmas presents as well?

Meanwhile OH gets a loan so he's in a much much MUCH better situation - plus he has a date in end. He can look up a calendar and be like yip on XX/XX/XXXX I'll be debt free. Meanwhile Im just pondering along and don't even get me started on BIL!
Gets out of jail, gets loads of free furniture places lined up for him, has all his benefits ready to be collected.

Claree__x

It's easy to get disheartened by it all - especially when you compare yourself to other people - but you know you're doing the right thing and it is making a difference, even if it's hard to see sometimes.

I'm totally in awe of you working 2 jobs and doing as much as you are for FLP and the rest of your family as well as making time for your relationship and your friends - you're awesome, don't forget that.

Megano

Happy belated Easter :easter_ba
We had a great time back home with FLP and mum totally loved seeing him again (she considers him as close to a grandchild she's going to get) *OH and I decided we arnt going to have a family ^unless we adopt^* and no one is stupid enough to get knocked up by my brother. Little annoyed however we came back on Tuesday and MIL or BIL still havnt phoned my mum to say thank you. Which understandably is ripping my mums knitting. Also FLP has started to get into the worst habit of hitting (again) when he gets a row he just hits and kicks.
OH and I started keeping him on our lap until he said sorry - worked a treat
BIL gave him a row - didnt work
and MIL just said "aww he's tired".
It must be frustrating for everyone because it doesn't seem that anyone is on the same page when it comes to FLP up bring (and I do understand its not the upbringing dreams are made out of). so FLP is just getting all confused and doesn't know what his boundaries are.
I have picked up the worst flu/cold/virus/death ever so I was only in the office on Wednesday so Im not sure if I was able to improve my NPS score enough to make bonus :(:(
OH was sent on a mission to buy things that would make me feel better and he came back with a coffee machine he has had his eyes on since forever - not sure how thats meant to help me feel better since I dont like coffee

Megano

So this morning I was all ready to go and kick start my first shift of the month at W2 and my voice from my cold/flu isnt strong enough so after 10 minutes I has to admit defeat and and ask my TL if I could log off.
Im really not a happy bunny as over Easter weekend the CC took a little pounding (not to the eye watering amount it was before) just means I wont be able to pay as much to the OD or HMRC this month, but its not the end of the world. As Im trying to remind myself this getting out of debt is a marathon not a race.
On the plus side having this curse over me means Ive not been able to leave the flat for 2 days so Ive not been able to spend a single penny :T:rotfl::T:rotfl: maybe there is a silver lining to this being sick thing

Florence_J

Hi Megano, It's nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry you are feeling ill, I hope you get better soon. Like you say it's a marathon not a sprint, you'll get there.