Time to grow up.

Kitten868

F me! Blooming Nora megano! Have you vomited yet? This rollercoaster has sharp turns.
If it was me I'd move to the area with the nice schools and rent out the extra room til flp moves in. Save your money while you can. How much do you need for a deposit x

Megano

So today was the SS meeting and it went REALLY well for BIL. He's allowed as much contact as he wants with FLP on the condition he's not allowed to take him out alone so if he wants to go to the park or swimming someone needs to go with him, which is great for BIL we honestly could'nt have wanted anymore and its going to be reviewed again in 3 months which means OH and I have 3 months of breathing space before the roller coaster starts again. Speaking to my work bestie and explained OH and I just need a couple of months to ourselves so when FM moves out we are going to stay here in the flat and just have a guest room. Yes it means we wont be able to throw as much to debts but its a a tiny weight of our shoulders that we've been carrying.
In work a manager took me to one side, apparently over the past few months people have noticed I havn't been my usual happy self and they were wondering if something was happening outside work and I'm like.....are you being serious right now?!?!!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Walk into the house and just burst into tears the past couple of months have just been mental and I thought I was doing well but it turns out Ive been slowly unraveling and not even noticing.
So after a shower and using FM (very expensive) shower lotion *no she doesn't mind* and using all the left over lush products to scrub, cleanse, tone and face mask Im feeling a little better to face W1 for round 501 tomorrow and part of me is thinking what would make me happy at the moment? Go on ETSY buy a load of hair clips (Janine Basil my FAVOURITE), get some blue/purple lipstick and get some metal (had my lip done 3 times) and dye my hair bright pink but then I remembered I'm debt busting but Ive had these hair clips in my basket for MONTHS! Must try to avoid temptation......
Remember I was telling you abuot my phone actress days? Well my old boss keeps texting me and I need to be honest Im really considering it! Because I work an 8 week rota trying to find time to fit in W2 is hard enough without trying to add another job to it but if I become a phone actress again I can do it in the house.

Kitten868

Talk to your oh. If he's ok with it then great! Do the phone line. But if not then don't - you don't want him overhearing and getting upset.
Well I was also thinking why don't you think f it and have your little pad in town like your friend? Then If you do adopt flp then st least you have done it. Regardless how briefly. You're renting so it could all be quite quick?
To be honest I don't think there's a wrong answer. Do whatever is right for you and what you can cope with
Just take 3 months of calm and normal. lol give yourself a break.
Well done on seeing your want to splurge for what it is and not acting on it.
You're doing really well xxx

Willowpop

3 month breathing space is great. You guys can catch your breath and be stronger and readier (is that a word??) at the end of the 3 month to see what the next step is. ☺

Don't worry about not debt busting quite so quickly... so long as it's going down bit by bit then that's good.


Can you speak to work? They've asked if there's something happening outside of work, so could you maybe let your manager know? They'd then at least know why you're a bit quiet on some days?

Megano

Nothing really new to report I'm afraid guys except BIL got into a massive argument with the DIL over the whole FLP situation, its understandable because its stressful what I don't like is BIL texted the OH at 5.30 this morning and when OH called him back at 7am as only just seen the message he totally jumped down OH's throat "why didn't you call me back sooner?!" "Does it really take you that long to reply to a massage?"
Now I love BIL he's a great guy (honest) but he NEEDS to get a grip. When he needs money he calls us, when he feels like ranting he calls us, hell even potentially adopting his kid and we've stepped up to the plate but it doesn't mean our lives go on hold so we can serve BIL every minute of everyday!
I was explaining to my team at work that I had overpaid the CC (really 22% of debt gone in the 1st month) and this guy gave me such a lecture on how I shouldn't rely on my wages and how irresponsible I was and I'm like MATE! I got a little carried away paying off debts its not like I'm spending it on casual stuff. He's even offered me budgeting advice because he use to be a debt collector - speaking of overpayments *cough* I paid an extra £20.49 to the CC today *cough*
I'm determined not to ask the bank of mum for a bail out I think money wise I should be okay as I get part of my extra income next Wednesday and then I get W1 and W2 wages the following week. Poor FM still hasn't found "the one" flat isn't that terrible?
Ive had a look at LOADs of video games OH and I can get rid of. Ive given him until next Friday to have a look through it then they are being sold. Really annoying when you go on music magpie they offer you 30p for a fifa game!

Kitten868

Don't sell them to music magpie. They give you pennies and when you send it in suddenly things aren't good enough for the cash. Sell games on eBay or at cex - you can look up the values online. Cex is a second hand games/consoles place. I love them. If you have no luck go to ziffit or webuybooks they are better on prices and actually go by their acceptance rules. Webuybooks actually apologised about rejecting something bless them.
And stick your books, DVDs old consoles like wiis or any old mobiles on there too.
BIL is never going to understand. He's obviously a child inside. Just thank goodness he's got you and your oh.
Just ignore your colleague, you're learning your lessons and only you know how you're going to tackle this. You're doing great. You aren't plugging a gap you're learning how to be savvy for your whole life xxx

Megano

In terms of the debt busting front things have been really really quiet as there is still no overtime at W1 and Im working as many shifts as possible at W2 (which I figured out I got paid £10 a shift for after tax. Not going to lie it kinda broke my heart) but with my eight week rotation its kinda here and there. I use to have a job where I worked until 3pm everyday and that would have been perfect but when dad passed away I took it really badly, got massively depressed and started self harming and to the amount of absences they just couldn't keep me on. The union tried to fight it because I had been on anti depressants for years but the employer refused to take me back (even though I was hitting every target set, my call quality was the highest standard, worked loads of overtime when I was in) the union said we should take it to tribunal but after talking it over with my mum we decided against it (even though according to the union rep it was an open and shut case but then again he also said I would have been offered my job back) oh why didn't I start debt busting before?!?! This truly is a case of my chickens coming home to roost!
Had an "incident" at work with another adviser I thought we were having banter but then he took it a step too far so much so my manager, the real time manager and the call center manager stepped in. Now the guy said he was "sorry" after 24 hours (as the call center manager was sitting right next to him) and I said if you truly were sorry why didn't you email, instant message, personally apologies before and then the f**ker (realizing I had made a valid point) tried to put the blame on me! Saying it was something I had said to make him react that way. What a tool. Everyone (including myself) has decided not to take it further but honestly what a knob head.
Seen FLP and he's finally tall enough to go on his balance bike I bought him just before Christmas and I think we might have the next generation Chris Hoy on our hands. He's not very good at steering but he's only had it a day. I also got to manage to read the SS report that was discussed at BIL meeting and its honestly not nice reading. BIL is still blaming so SS for BIL-EGF death saying they didnt support her and they knew she had issues but honestly its not going to bring her back.
[STRIKE]Had[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]Needed[/STRIKE] Wanted to buy OH V-Day gift so put it on the CC. I bought him two blue rays, a couple of DVDs for BIL and some bits for the house and when I got to the till she said that will be 80 odds! Now I was thinking should I update my signature with the new amounts and then I realized how confusing that would be so I decided to leave it
Today OH and I are taking FLP and BIL to soft play.
About getting W3 OH isnt really happy but as I mentioned in a post before Im the sort of person who wants things done yesterday. Im thinking of signing up for mystery shopping but Im wondering especially in Glasgow if those jobs would be few and far between.

Megano

So who manages to find a flat online, arrange to view said flat, meet the landlords of said flat, sign the flats contract and get keys all in the space of 8 hours?
FM apparently :rotfl::eek::rotfl::eek::rotfl::(:rotfl::eek:
and the REAL cherry on the cake? Shes moving out in a week.
*deep breath* its fine, its fine!

Florence_J

Hi Megano,

It's late on valetines day and i am away from my OH so have been reading diaries for inspiration (i have one going myself)

I feel like i know you after reading the whole journey from the beginning. You have gone through so much and you are surviving and carrying on with your path to be debt free. Don't let the people who try to bring you down bring you down. You are doing great in spite of such difficult circumstances. keep going.

Megano

I may have gotten a [STRIKE]little[/STRIKE] a lot credit card happy over the past few days and the CC balance is back up to the £551 :eek::eek::eek: (
F**k f**k f**k f**k f*******k (my poor signature. Do I start it again with the new balances?)

Im honestly feeling sick at myself right now the horrible thing was it was so easy to run it back up but its okay! Its a set-back its about control and I didn't succeed but I still think its fine.

Was it worth it? - In the long run no, but I took FM, her BF, OH and I bowling as a final flat date. Unfortunately because it was the school holidays there was no promos for a Monday evening. Also I got her a leaving gift and paid for OH's car insurance.

Ive done a new budget and I should be debt free before Christmas (not including HMRC) which was always the goal.

In other news FM has officially moved into her own place and we now have a spare room again. OH and I have decided to wait for a couple of months to see if we want to rent it out again. We've asked the landlord if we can decorate (it was last done 3 years ago and the place is looking tired) and we are just waiting on the answer.
Reason we've decided to wait is OH has been made a TL at marking exam papers :T:j:T:j and its a stressful time for him so we thought why add more to our already full stress plate.

Im really going to miss FM