Single adults with no kids - what do you do at Christmas?

going_nowhere_fast

I'm a single parent to one child and we spend Christmas alone just the two of us. My siblings go to in laws and we are never invited. My parents passed away. Friends are all married with children and either visiting or hosting their parents - they do not invite us either. After a lovely day with my child I spend the evening alone with wine and a mountain of chocolate to keep me company while I watch the usual repeats which make up Christmas telly.

I enjoy the day but feel sad with the constant pressure from adverts, films, and colleagues chatting about those really big family get together on Christmas day. I have experienced them and loved them but life changes, people die, marry, have their own families, move away. My Christmas day isn't bad, i have a lovely time with my LO playing with the new toys santa brought, but there is such a huge pressure about what Christmas should be. (And don't get me started on how inadequate I feel about not ordering a new sofa so I can have something new to sit on, on the big day! Those ads are so annoying.)

I have a concern that when my child is older they will feel sad at spending Christmas with just mum like you appear to feel.

Its easy for people to say see friends but often the reality is that people are too busy with their own family to consider friends. I also think some people would swap their busy day for a lazy quiet one. Like you said in an earlier post the grass is always greener...

If I was in your shoes I would be the opposite of MSE for a couple of days. Christmas day would involve a long bath and washing my hair, dinner and TV with your parents as normal, then new PJs, new dressing gown for the evening together with a good film and chocolate. Boxing day I would hit the sales just to be around people and not stuck at home. If you are watching your money I would do a lot of window shopping and treat myself to just one thing. Then tea with parents and a film with PJs again. Day after that life is back to normal again.

For what its worth I think your Christmas is very normal when there are no small children involved - most people spend the day eating and watching repeats on telly.

missbiggles1

going_nowhere_fast wrote: »

I'm a single parent to one child and we spend Christmas alone just the two of us. My siblings go to in laws and we are never invited. My parents passed away. Friends are all married with children and either visiting or hosting their parents - they do not invite us either. After a lovely day with my child I spend the evening alone with wine and a mountain of chocolate to keep me company while I watch the usual repeats which make up Christmas telly.

I enjoy the day but feel sad with the constant pressure from adverts, films, and colleagues chatting about those really big family get together on Christmas day. I have experienced them and loved them but life changes, people die, marry, have their own families, move away. My Christmas day isn't bad, i have a lovely time with my LO playing with the new toys santa brought, but there is such a huge pressure about what Christmas should be. (And don't get me started on how inadequate I feel about not ordering a new sofa so I can have something new to sit on, on the big day! Those ads are so annoying.)

I have a concern that when my child is older they will feel sad at spending Christmas with just mum like you appear to feel.

Its easy for people to say see friends but often the reality is that people are too busy with their own family to consider friends. I also think some people would swap their busy day for a lazy quiet one. Like you said in an earlier post the grass is always greener...

If I was in your shoes I would be the opposite of MSE for a couple of days. Christmas day would involve a long bath and washing my hair, dinner and TV with your parents as normal, then new PJs, new dressing gown for the evening together with a good film and chocolate. Boxing day I would hit the sales just to be around people and not stuck at home. If you are watching your money I would do a lot of window shopping and treat myself to just one thing. Then tea with parents and a film with PJs again. Day after that life is back to normal again.

For what its worth I think your Christmas is very normal when there are no small children involved - most people spend the day eating and watching repeats on telly.

I think I'd cut my wrists if I had to spend Boxing Day at the sales!

going_nowhere_fast

If I felt lonely I would, sometimes just being in a busy situation can help take that feeling away.

edwink

I would love to be able to spend Christmas day with my Parents. Sadly both of them are no longer here. My father actually died on Christmas day one year so Christmas has never been the same for me since.


We don't have any children and don't watch any TV but we will make a nice Christmas dinner, have Christmas Crackers and wear a silly hat for a while. Also we will make a mini Christmas dinner without the turkey for our hens and ducks. They love sprouts, Sage and Onion stuffing and most of all roast potatoes. We will spend some time in the garden sharing it all out between them and getting some fresh air in the process. My husband loves films so in the evening he will rent a film on-line and watch that and I will spend time on MSE and other forums I belong to.


I always miss my mum and dad at Christmas. Please cherish the time you have with your parents because they won't be here forever. You could split your time up and spend time with friends and some of Christmas day with your parents. Maybe go and see a friend in the evening and leave your parent to watch their chosen TV.

VfM4meplse

miss_independent wrote: »

I meant a husband and children. I understand I have my parents but they are getting older and I've really come to understand that they won't be around forever.

This is not really about Christmas, is it? It's about dissatisfaction with your life atm. If that's the case take the day out to do some personal development and think not only about what you want in 2016, but specifically how you're going to achieve it. You can still have lunch with your parents but avoid the rubbish TV and use the time more productively.

miss_independent wrote: »

I've got lots going on in the lead up to Christmas, its just Christmas Day (and Boxing Day but some places are open then at least) that's quiet. I've got a fairly big social circle otherwise and am very busy usually!

In my late twenties and early thirties, the run-up to Christmas would be so busy socially, then I'd get back from midnight mass after 3am as the was always a mince-pie get together afterwards.....so I'd prepare for a day in bed, reading magazines and watching whatever TV I wanted to . Lunch would be more mince pies and a lychee or two at 5pm - it was basically a please yourself day!

Then I got into the habit of going to far flung destinations over Christmas....but honestly, it's so overpriced that I wouldn't bother unless you can find a good deal. I have noticed that our local park is packed with families enjoying a stroll on Christmas Day: that costs nothing! So you could consider doing that with your family and stopping at a pub for a pre-lunch drink, this would work particularly well as you will have pre-prepared the food.

Enjoy your parents whilst they are still around.

duchy

miss_independent wrote: »

Yes, I think I'm going to say sod it and go for a walk after dinner. Whenever I've said I was going to do this in the past my parents have seen it as me abandoning them but they fall asleep anyway (and don't allow me to change the TV channel even though they are sleeping!). I'll go and look at the Christmas lights and either Skype some friends or get a head start on some work/de-cluttering - just treat it as a normal day!

Didn't you say you'd recently moved home ?
There is a world of difference between inviting a loved one to spend the holiday with you and them wanting to spend some of that limited time with their friends elsewhere - and an adult household member going out for the evening to do their own thing.

System

I think i;ve only had a handful of single christmases over the years, but i've always gone back to my parents and had christmas there. It never bothered me that i was doing the same thing i've now done for 28 years. We don't have a big family, since my grandparents passed there is just the six of us. Last year i remember us ending up watching films as everyone slowly passed out (i was the last one awake at one point) but for me being with people i love is what makes christmas.

But if you feel you're stuck in a rut, and you're not happy with how things are, try and think of what you actually would like to do. If you want to go for a walk, go for one, if you want to see friends, do it. You can still do those things and still spend some time with your family.

Pixie5740

OP, my Christmas is almost identical to yours. I'm single, have no children and I'm of a similar age to you. It's a small Christmas with just mum, dad and I and i really enjoy it. Thankfully my brother and his family have their own little Christmas day because their table manners, or rather lack of, leave a lot to be desired.

I've had the big family Christmases with all the family politics that go along with it and I much prefer the quiet Christmas. Mum isn't a big drinker so dad likes to use hosting me as an excuse to keep opening bottles of champagne and wine.

Dad also hogs the remote control. I was in my 20s before I realised the Queen's Speech was a real thing. If mum and I do get to watch something we would like he sits in his chair muttering away, "what's this !!!!! your watching?" I hosted Christmas one year and he still hogged the remote control. :rotfl:

I know I can watch things on my laptop but dad had a habit of turning off the wifi when he's not using it. I've since given him my old iPad and now the wifi gets to stay on 24 hours a day.

I've thought about going on holiday over Christmas and one year I might but for now I'm quite content with our small Christmas day and a post dinner walk around the village I grew up in.

worried_jim

BucksLady wrote: »

Don't give up hope about meeting the 'right' person and having a family - as you're only 31 it is still possible

And whatever you do don't get a cat! That will be the kiss of death of you ever meeting a man.

ThemeOne

Christmas Day is a boring day, and I don't think there's any way round that. It's got the lot really - bad weather (almost the shortest day of the year), nothing open, and rubbish on TV / radio.

I guess I've got beyond being depressed by it, as I know it for what it is and don't expect more.

It's very difficult for single people as you always feel like a bit of a spare part. I never spent it with my family due to some irreconcilable differences, so got used to being by myself.

Now I just regard it as a welcome break from work, and a chance to get some chores done in peace.