Reasonable Expenses

toniq

What the op has said the mother has done wrong seems to have been said in the heat of the moment.

The type of if you're not going to pay then you raise him and see how easy it is comment.

How on earth does that warrant a let's get custody case? Before the arrangement was fine now it is not as the mother has asked for maintenance.

£2.50 a week nursery fees and kids clothes don't equate to a lot.

If a child was genuinely in danger then I would understand but this whole situation seems to be being aggravated by the op.

Guest101

toniq wrote: »

What the op has said the mother has done wrong seems to have been said in the heat of the moment.

The type of if you're not going to pay then you raise him and see how easy it is comment.

How on earth does that warrant a let's get custody case? Before the arrangement was fine now it is not as the mother has asked for maintenance.

£2.50 a week nursery fees and kids clothes don't equate to a lot.

If a child was genuinely in danger then I would understand but this whole situation seems to be being aggravated by the op.

I'm confused, why would a child need to be in danger for a father to seek custody?


If either parent can abandon their child in the heat of the moment then it is the duty of the other parent to take all possible steps to secure a stable future for that child.

Jagraf

Guest101 wrote: »

I'm confused, why would a child need to be in danger for a father to seek custody?


If either parent can abandon their child in the heat of the moment then it is the duty of the other parent to take all possible steps to secure a stable future for that child.

To be fair I'm not sure what the father wants, that hasnt been explained.

Poppie68

If a child is not in danger why try to split them from their mother? At the moment there seems to be a good balance of care.

The mother doesn't seem to be an unfit parent and the op doesn't seem to suggest she is. It sounds like a new single mum with a 4 year old who is most probably suffering from sleep deprivation and a touch of the baby blues, I had days were I could of gladly wanted to hand mine over, but just said it through frustration.

Guest101

Poppie68 wrote: »

If a child is not in danger why try to split them from their mother? At the moment there seems to be a good balance of care.

The mother doesn't seem to be an unfit parent and the op doesn't seem to suggest she is. It sounds like a new single mum with a 4 year old who is most probably suffering from sleep deprivation and a touch of the baby blues, I had days were I could of gladly wanted to hand mine over, but just said it through frustration.

You didnt do it though.

And it doesnt take for a child to be in danger, its who's best suited to care for the child.

Poppie68

Guest101 wrote: »

It's nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the childs welfare.


If the mother, for whatever reason, cannot look after the child, it is in the childs best interest to live with people who can.

There is nothing to suggest she can't cope.... Every parent single or in a partnership go through this at one time or another, what should others do, steal in and whip them away?

toniq

Guest101 wrote: »

I'm confused, why would a child need to be in danger for a father to seek custody?


If either parent can abandon their child in the heat of the moment then it is the duty of the other parent to take all possible steps to secure a stable future for that child.

They seem to have 50/50 why then seek full custody when the child is not in danger? The child as op has said is happy with mother and new partner so why would a child be took of his mother over gran being annoyed at son being asked for maintenance?

The op has clearly made a situation seem worse by exaggerating things when further asked by other posters conflicted what she has said and made a big deal over a £2.50 nursery fee.

toniq

Guest101 wrote: »

You didnt do it though.

And it doesnt take for a child to be in danger, its who's best suited to care for the child.

I'm not sure if you are male or female, but the first few weeks after a birth are very very traumatic as you adjust to hormones running riot on top of the demands of a little one.

I suffered badly from pnd and could have easily have walked into the night but for the support of my family and doctors.

I personally think op needs to step out and let her son and his ex sort this out she seems to be making the situation worse.

RiaMac_2

toniq wrote: »

I'm actually shocked you are going for custody as a woman a few weeks after giving birth got upset with you?

Her hormones would be everywhere and she would be suffering sleep deprivation, cut her some slack and stop being so nasty.

I actually at the beginning of all this had some sympathy for you but have seen your posts turn into a witch hunt against her.

Maybe butt out and let your son deal with this. It isn't your place.

She must be beside herself with worry on top of dealing with a new born.

Congratulations you must be really proud of yourself.

At no point have I ever said I or my son, would file for custody of my grandson. This was a suggestion put forward by a fellow member.

Please read the full thread particularly post 8 where I say “I'll be generous and say it must be new mummy hormones making her act this way.” Does that sound nasty to you? I expect not as you have said as much yourself. As for this being a "witch hunt", I hardly think so! I've had enough children of my own to remember how sleep deprivation, worry about how you are going to cope etc etc. can affect your behaviour. It is the fact that she turned up on my doorstep and handed over her son because she claimed she couldn't afford to look after him, that really got my back up considering the benefits she receives and has no childcare, clothes, nursery fees and very little food to buy for him as he is here the majority of the time etc, to pay for. Also when someone turns up at my door and causes a scene then it is definitely my place to say something. Considering the fact I have looked after my grandson for so much of his life then I will definitely put in my tuppence ha’penny’s worth.
I concede that I should have added at end of post 18 I should have added ‘until she is able to look after him’ to make it crystal clear of my feelings.

RiaMac_2

Jagraf wrote: »

To be fair I'm not sure what the father wants, that hasnt been explained.

My son too is confused although he said to the lawyer this afternoon he wants what is best for his son, which everyone in this situation should feel. He said he does not know what to do as he does not want to make matters worse and that is why he has remained pretty much silent and busied himself with his son to keep his mind off it. It was only today I found out what was really going on in his mind, perhaps because he realised this situation was not going to rectify itself or maybe because he knew he would have to let the lawyer know his thoughts, I honestly don't know but I am glad he has now spoken out and options have now been discussed. The option of going for full custody was brought up by the lawyer but made very clear that this should be the very last resort. Hopefully a resolution will be arrived at soon.