Reasonable Expenses

My son was 17 years old when he became a daddy. He was never in a relationship with the mum. He is now 21, has a decent but not well paid job, he looks after his son at least 2 full days and nights a week and takes him on holiday for at least 2 weeks every year and occasionally to a friends' caravan. This is over and above the usual 2 nights. Up until she went on maternity leave 3 months ago I looked after my grandson every day as well as the usual 2 nights, while she worked full time (I received no money for this but as he is my grandson I didn't expect nor want any payment, although a thank you from her would have been nice. She now has another baby and claims that this baby's dad, who she also was never in a relationship with, pays her £50 per week. We have no idea if that is true. She now wants my son to pay the same. There is no way he could afford that!
At the moment he has a small car and all the expense that comes with that to pay including the loan for it (he needs the car to get to and from work and also to pick up and drop off his son), he pays me board of £40 pw and also needs to go out once a week (I give him £30 for this ;) as I believe he is still a little boy who needs to socialise with adults and not just 4 year olds!). She said she is due at least half his wages but that would leave him with almost nothing :mad: How much is he entitled to keep for reasonable living expenses? He has a new girlfriend but they cannot afford a deposit on a flat as she wants so much money. We buy all my grandson's clothes, pay his (state) nursery fees along with any trips etc, look after him and take him wherever he needs to go as she does not have a car. She has passed her driving test but expected my son to pay for the lessons (I hope he didn't!).
Does anyone know of a website which could help us work out how much he should actually pay? We have looked at the web but it is really difficult to find a site which helps. Any help would be much appreciated :D
Ria :dance:

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Charles M. Schulz
Wins since January 2014 Naked Wines - 6 bottles, Good Reads - Book
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Comments

  • mum2one
    mum2one Posts: 16,279
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    I know you want to support your grandson, but I'm sorry I think shes trying to take you all for a ride... £50 a week and she wants more.... try my ex £5 a week.. she will soon notice the difference...

    Times have changed as the CSA no longer takes new cases - its based on child maintance options

    https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

    use that link and it works out how much should be paid....

    I would say if your son is paying privately, he covers his rear - by signing for the money, or if bank transfer to call it child support for xx.

    Good luck x
    xx rip dad... we had our ups and downs but we’re always be family xx
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    Post his wage and I'll work it out for you.

    Or use the link mum2one posted.

    He does owe some money.

    £50 a week would be roughly a £20-22k a year job

    The other father may earn more or less than your son.

    She deco can't claim half. I suggest now your son goes to court to get a child arrangement order. ( and PR if necessary)
  • RiaMac_2
    RiaMac_2 Posts: 99 Forumite
    Thank you both very much. I have worked out he should pay about £15 a week. A huge difference from what she wants! New baby's dad could easily earn £22k as a basic wage and then have commission on top so he may well pay £50 pw. He does have a mortgage, brand new (not company) car and very expensive hobbies like scuba diving (he takes at least 6 foreign holidays a year just to do that, lucky guy). He can still afford all this even although new baby is his 5th to 5 very lucky ladies :eek:
    Can I ask another question? Do the maintenance payments affect her benefits? If they do not then I hope she never complains about being skint as she'll be much better off financially, than me! TIA xx
    Ria :dance:

    All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
    Charles M. Schulz
    Wins since January 2014 Naked Wines - 6 bottles, Good Reads - Book
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,544
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    RiaMac wrote: »
    Do the maintenance payments affect her benefits? If they do not then I hope she never complains about being skint as she'll be much better off financially, than me!

    No, she gets the benefits and any child maintenance free and clear as well.
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    Maintenance isn't considered income as such.

    It's, in theory, an additional child cost on top of child benefit etc.

    If dad to 2 pays her £50, and has 4 other children, he'll earn in excess of £1000 per week - top of my head calculation. It's roughly 25% split between 5 kids.
  • mum2one
    mum2one Posts: 16,279
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    it use to be the first £20 was allowed anything above was taken from benefits, now its you can keep the lot, x
    xx rip dad... we had our ups and downs but we’re always be family xx
  • RiaMac_2
    RiaMac_2 Posts: 99 Forumite
    Thank you all. She phoned this morning asking when she would get her £50. When DS said he thought she was only entitled to around £15-20 a week she went ballistic! Glad DS did not take the bait instead he sent an email showing her how it was worked out. An hour ago she arrived with my grandson and said we would need to keep him as she can't afford to! WT???? I'll be generous and say it must be new mummy hormones making her act this way. I know, I'm too nice :)
    Ria :dance:

    All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
    Charles M. Schulz
    Wins since January 2014 Naked Wines - 6 bottles, Good Reads - Book
  • Guest101
    Guest101 Posts: 15,764 Forumite
    RiaMac wrote: »
    Thank you all. She phoned this morning asking when she would get her £50. When DS said he thought she was only entitled to around £15-20 a week she went ballistic! Glad DS did not take the bait instead he sent an email showing her how it was worked out. An hour ago she arrived with my grandson and said we would need to keep him as she can't afford to! WT???? I'll be generous and say it must be new mummy hormones making her act this way. I know, I'm too nice :)

    Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.


    Go to a solicitor's, make a C100 application. Full custody.


    She's clearly not stable enough to raise your grandchild.
  • bouicca21
    bouicca21 Posts: 6,491
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    Given that you have looked after him so much until a few months ago, I'm with Guest, go for residence as main carer.

    Mind you as he gets (a lot) older, you'll be rectifying your mistake with his dad and teaching him about condoms, won't you? Lol.
  • i wish i could have a kid with someone and pay only £15 pounds a week.

    no wonder the poor mother was distraught.
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