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Child Support Agency Help!
Comments
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Person_one wrote: »
Have you ever looked at the result of a DNA test?
I have one here , you can rest assured it's not a 50% split.
The child will have many DNA characteristics of the mother, the other characteristics are of the father.0 -
Nothing but B&H Gold.
You may not have said it, but your post implies that, it's not me getting hung up on paying or contributing, there is a difference between the two though no need to debate that.
Glad you now agree BOTH parties are to blame, and yes the whole matter could have been sorted much sooner, once the OP is contrbuting (if he should) then his budgetting soon adjusts and if he doesn't want to contribute any more financially or emoitionally then that is his choice only. But burying his head in the sand about it all, won't make it go away.
I implied no such thing. It's certainly not what I think. The fact that you read that into what I wrote speaks volumes about you though.
If it helps you sleep better at night to think you are contributing towards the cost of raising your child rather than paying money for the upkeep of your child then knock yourself out.
I'm not now agreeing that both parties are responsible. I have said all along that both parties are responsible for protecting themselves against unplanned pregnancies.0 -
I implied no such thing. It's certainly not what I think. The fact that you read that into what I wrote speaks volumes about you though.
If it helps you sleep better at night to think you are contributing towards the cost of raising your child rather than paying money for the upkeep of your child then knock yourself out.
I'm not now agreeing that both parties are responsible. I have said all along that both parties are responsible for protecting themselves against unplanned pregnancies.
Agree completely, both parties are responsible.
And either party could 'trap' the other.
(a male 'pill' would be good)0 -
I implied no such thing. It's certainly not what I think. The fact that you read that into what I wrote speaks volumes about you though.
If it helps you sleep better at night to think you are contributing towards the cost of raising your child rather than paying money for the upkeep of your child then knock yourself out.
I'm not now agreeing that both parties are responsible. I have said all along that both parties are responsible for protecting themselves against unplanned pregnancies.
You can debate without getting personal you know?
We are all individuals and do not have to all think the same, to pay or recieve pay is reward.
I am contributing not paying , if I were paying then I would be putting forth all the financial aspect whilst the mother sits on here rear end .
Yes the mother has to take precaution as not not land herself in a precarious situation, whether that be a child or otherwise. But then for some it's a way of geting municipal dwelling , rent paid etc and a good handout from all the tax payers.0 -
You can debate without getting personal you know?
We are all individuals and do not have to all think the same, to pay or recieve pay is reward.
I am contributing not paying , if I were paying then I would be putting forth all the financial aspect whilst the mother sits on here rear end .
Yes the mother has to take precaution as not not land herself in a precarious situation, whether that be a child or otherwise. But then for some it's a way of geting municipal dwelling , rent paid etc and a good handout from all the tax payers.
The result of a number of social and economic issues.
The collapse of industry led to mass unemployment. There was no 'plan' for mass retraining into other sectors, generations grew up seeing their parents live on state handouts (mostly through no fault of their own).
Morals in society changed. Another generation grew up with single parent families, living on state handouts.
As this was no longer a stigma, we now have a generation that wants to live on state handouts.
This is nothing new in history, but in the past the only choice for these 'kinds' generations was the military (forced by circumstance as much as anything), with regular military action, contributed with mass attrition, throughout history. - This no longer happens (which is a good thing), but no-one's come up with a solution.
- slight change of topic....
As for the whole paying, contributing scenario.
I have to say, via taxes, I am contributing to hundreds of thousands of children in the UK.
I think paying is the more direct (and correct phrase), it's directly out of your pocket.0 -
snip
As for the whole paying, contributing scenario.
I have to say, via taxes, I am contributing to hundreds of thousands of children in the UK.
I think paying is the more direct (and correct phrase), it's directly out of your pocket.
It maybe a play of words, if the OP (and other NRP (used to be called absent parents)) looked at it as contributing rather than paying then the pill is easier to swallow.
The original CS system stripped the payer of all but dole money, so it was easy to see why some just gave up work and the money never went to the recipient directly. The current systems request a percentage which if set at the correct level is fairer and it does go to the parent with care.
I am in full support of the current systems as they work out fairer on both parents, often the contributer still has a large majority of their disposable income and they have adhered to their obligation without dialogue from angry ex partners/flings.0 -
I don't see it as paying, I see it as contributing, the sort of mentality exposed in your post , to me is what hold's women back in modern society. From when I was at school we were taught all genders are equal
And yet look at the unfair disproportion of women who get most of the custody time. Equality when it's suitable for the female even when it defies logic (50% compulsory board of directors etc).
If you are made to pay something you would rather not need to then you are paying. Alton Towers (or their insurance) are paying as a result of an unfortunate situation that has happened. It's not like it's for the greater society, it's because she insists on raising a kid in a broken household.
How often have any of you discussed abortion/reactions to pregnancy before the matter occurs (except when deciding you want to start trying for kids)? Pretty sure it almost never happens...imagine the mood kill if you asked the girl "if this condom isn't effective you'd get an abortion right?"
Luckily the closest I've got is convincing one to take a morning after pill as a precaution.Mortgage (Nov 15): £79,950 | Mortgage (May 19): £71,754 | Mortgage (Sep 22): £0
Cashback sites: £900 | £30k in 2016: £30,300 (101%)0 -
And yet look at the unfair disproportion of women who get most of the custody time. Equality when it's suitable for the female even when it defies logic (50% compulsory board of directors etc).
If you are made to pay something you would rather not need to then you are paying. Alton Towers (or their insurance) are paying as a result of an unfortunate situation that has happened. It's not like it's for the greater society, it's because she insists on raising a kid in a broken household.
How often have any of you discussed abortion/reactions to pregnancy before the matter occurs (except when deciding you want to start trying for kids)? Pretty sure it almost never happens...imagine the mood kill if you asked the girl "if this condom isn't effective you'd get an abortion right?"
Luckily the closest I've got is convincing one to take a morning after pill as a precaution.
I'd say though that in the case of the topic CS does need to be contributed.
I'm all for equal opportunity not the old school of she be a homemaker and he be a breadwinner.0 -
And yet look at the unfair disproportion of women who get most of the custody time. Equality when it's suitable for the female even when it defies logic (50% compulsory board of directors etc). - Presumably you've examined the notes on every single child arrangement order in the last 12 months? had you done so, you would realise that even this would be a small sample of the reality as the vast majority of break ups don't end up in court; in most cases the NRP is the one who earns more money, the one who has had less direct involvement with childcare etc., and the one who chooses to carry on working for the sake of the children. Unfortunately extreme examples tend to make headlines.
If you are made to pay something you would rather not need to then you are paying. Alton Towers (or their insurance) are paying as a result of an unfortunate situation that has happened. It's not like it's for the greater society, it's because she insists on raising a kid in a broken household. - Or the NRP decides to leave. Or they just aren't compatible. Or there's abuse. Or...
How often have any of you discussed abortion/reactions to pregnancy before the matter occurs (except when deciding you want to start trying for kids)? - Not often, but people live with the consequences! Pretty sure it almost never happens...imagine the mood kill if you asked the girl "if this condom isn't effective you'd get an abortion right?" - If you aren't sure, don't sleep with her!
Luckily the closest I've got is convincing one to take a morning after pill as a precaution.
Luckily for the child who would presumably be left without a father who cared, supported and loved him or her.0 -
You can debate without getting personal you know?
Says the poster who claimed my mentality was holding modern women back after saying I implied something which I never did.I don't see it as paying, I see it as contributing, the sort of mentality exposed in your post , to me is what hold's women back in modern society.But then for some it's a way of geting municipal dwelling , rent paid etc and a good handout from all the tax payers.
I don't know a single, single parent family where the resident parent does not work. Most of whom earn too much to claim child benefit or any tax credits. All the single parent families I know are home owners bar one who rents privately. No, not all the non-resident parents are male.It maybe a play of words, if the OP (and other NRP (used to be called absent parents)) looked at it as contributing rather than paying then the pill is easier to swallow.
So it is just semantics then. I'm glad we got there in the end.0
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