would you do long distance relationship?

duchy

Most people with careers and a social life tend to need to plan to see a person they are dating - especially as most people tend to date people similar to themselves so plannin g is needed to synchronize.

My partner used to live four houses down the street from me when we first got together - but because we both work shift we still needed to plan to ensure we got time together -no different to had we lived 50 miles apart.

Lunar_Eclipse

catoutthebag wrote: »

People need to stop getting oh so shocked. It's like daily mail here sometimes.

It was an arbitrary number that was picked when discussing with others. 50 miles MINIMUM..so that doesn't exclude 100, 200, 300 miles or more. That is, they don't live in your city or town or nearby and you need some pre planning or arrangement to see them. ..for example a distance like this may exclude all or some weekday visits depending what hours each worked.

Blimey.

Defensive? No-one seems to think and hour or so is long distance, which I would have thought would please you, given your question. I think many people probably envisaged a plane ride away.

Personally, a small distance of 50-100 miles (though you specifically said 50 miles with a person in mind in your opening post so you were not being hypothetical, just vague with details) does not necessarily exclude weekday visits, although of course it might not be practical if the people involved work different shifts for example. My point was mainly that most people will go to a lot of effort for love and I wouldn't even think to ask the question because the distance is virtually nothing.

I'm not sure why these replies haven't made you think 'great, this is distance is nothing, let's get it on ...' though you perhaps feel a bit silly for asking?

euronorris

I married mine! He was living in Belgium to start, then moved to Holland about 6 months in. After a year of dating, I moved to Holland. We stayed there for almost another 4 years, before moving back to the UK (East Sussex) into my parents temporarily (which turned into a couple of years). And at the start of this year we moved to Somerset, where house prices were cheaper, got married and now baby is on the way.


I think it requires more effort, and it can add extra pressure, but it can be overcome. And I think that both parties need to be willing to move, if needs be, otherwise one may feel resentful of the other that they went to all that trouble to move but the other is unwilling to.


Also, 50 miles is nothing! I don't consider that long distance.

triple_choc_chip

I don't think I would want to be with someone who lived closer than 50 miles, I would feel claustophobic.

maman

I had LDR with my now DH. We used to meet up half way most weekends. I'd generally drive and he'd take the train. If time allowed we'd stay over in a B&B otherwise it was just for the day. That was 35 years ago and we're very happy still.


What I find strange on OP is that s/he isn't in a relationship just thinking about it. So what's the plan? Is OP going to trail around a town 50 miles away just to see what's on offer?:rotfl:


Surely what really matters is whether it's the right person for you rather than where they live.

fierystormcloud

catoutthebag wrote: »

For arguments sake, and with others I've spoken to, let's say that it's 50 miles one way / 1 hour (on a good day). Ie you can't just hop in your car and needs pre planning and could reasonably be expected to see them over the weekend. Let's say neither has ties, such as children. Would you or not?

But being single now, I'm finding myself say 'never say never'. I guess I ask now as there's someone who seems very keen, lives further away, happy for LDR initially as likes bit of space (like me), and like me, is used to driving for work (the distance to her is the same both of us could travel in a day for work).

On other hand, I know how the travels can get tiring. And there has to be an end goal at some point.

I open this to the floor.

catoutthebag wrote: »

People need to stop getting oh so shocked. It's like daily mail here sometimes.

It was an arbitrary number that was picked when discussing with others. 50 miles MINIMUM..so that doesn't exclude 100, 200, 300 miles or more. That is, they don't live in your city or town or nearby and you need some pre planning or arrangement to see them. ..for example a distance like this may exclude all or some weekday visits depending what hours each worked.

Blimey.

Well why didn't you say this in your first post then?!!! We're not psychic you know. How were we all supposed to know you meant 50 miles MINIMUM?! But we should also consider distances of multiple 100s! We were responding to what you SAID, not what you MEANT!

I even asked what you meant by long distance, how many miles, (before I noticed you had said 50 miles!) and you never bothered answering!

And in what way is this thread or board like the Daily Mail? :huh:

System

Never again

I;ve had 3 in the past and none of them worked out, don't get me wrong its mainly cos none of them were the right person for me, but the distance didn't help. My last realtionship before this one was long distance (and the one previous to that), not helped by me not being able to stay at his and him working mon-fri and me working weekends. i barely saw him, and i always felt like a part time gf. I wanted someone i could see whenever, that distance wouldn't be an issue with.

The partner i'm with now, although he dones;t live in the same city at least lives in the same county, i can see him multiple times a week and honestly everyone has said how much happier i seem this time round, for the first time i feel like i have a "proper" relationship, a more "normal" one at least.

I think if you have an end goal of it not being long distance it can (and does) work out, but if you're not on the same page chances are it wont work.

boliston

I'm sure there is a song where someone walked a thousand miles!

SeduLOUs

boliston wrote: »

I'm sure there is a song where someone walked a thousand miles!

He kept going on about how he 'would' walk 500 miles (and then 500 more), but no evidence suggests he actually got off his bum and did it.

Pixie5740

Have YOU had to walk 500 miles?

Were you advised to walk 500 more?

You could be entitled to compensation.

Call the PRO-CLAIMERS now.

I'll get my coat.