would you do long distance relationship?

catoutthebag

For arguments sake, and with others I've spoken to, let's say that it's 50 miles one way / 1 hour (on a good day). Ie you can't just hop in your car and needs pre planning and could reasonably be expected to see them over the weekend. Let's say neither has ties, such as children.

Would you or not?

I've done it twice. First lasted 2 years. Second we were LDR for a year before moving in together for a further 3. So there was mileage in both.

I always said I wouldn't again (people go back on promises made, feel too settled etc).

But being single now, I'm finding myself say 'never say never'. I guess I ask now as there's someone who seems very keen, lives further away, happy for LDR initially as likes bit of space (like me), and like me, is used to driving for work (the distance to her is the same both of us could travel in a day for work).

On other hand, I know how the travels can get tiring. And there has to be an end goal at some point.

I open this to the floor.

duchy

I have a friend who has recently married her LDR -the distance was 6000 miles and it certainly wasn't a short courtship. The distance caused issues - but every relationship has issues and I'd say them both been stubborn characters probably caused more issues than the distance .

If it's the right person distance can be overcome.......if they aren't the right person it doesn't matter if they live next door or next continent.

Is there more effort involved in a LDR -Yes of course- and if you resent the extra time and travelling then that particular relationship isn't right - but odds are if it's the right person you'll feel they are worth the effort.

There's no right or wrong answer-Just the right or wrong person !

selement

I have briefly been long distance. We had lived near each other in each others pockets at uni for 2 years then he dropped out and back to his moms and I got a job further away. The plan was always for him to come join me. I personally for long distance need a plan for it to not be long distance in the future as I don't think it's sustainable just doing it for the foreseeable future (although I know it works for some people!) we had a year living apart, and have lived together since (5 years) and are engaged now

pickledonionspaceraider

Yes, I married mine - he lived an hours drive away when we met

VfM4meplse

Ultimately the question comes down to whether one or both of you is prepared to uproot themselves in the interest of the relationship, or whether your love of your existing life exceeds the importance of the relationship.

50 miles is no distance for a driver, I don't consider that to be an obstacle.

missbiggles1

An hour's drive away is hardly long distance - many people commute to work every day for longer than that!

Rossim1985

My fiance is Egyptian and lives in Cairo. I would say that's pretty long distance!! It's a huge challenge no doubt but I knew from an early point that she was 'the one', so we make it work.

We are getting married on 31st Jan, so 3 months time and she will fingers crossed be here permanently sometime in March.

Lunar_Eclipse

Yes, we did the other side of the world for 3 years and are now married.

50 miles is nothing; I'm quite shocked by the question. I'd drive 50 miles to meet someone for a cuppa if I fancied them.

Lunar_Eclipse

missbiggles1 wrote: »

An hour's drive away is hardly long distance - many people commute to work every day for longer than that!

Exactly. I imagine there'd be sighs of relief all round finding your date lived only 50 miles away.

DH travels 2 hours each way to work every day (in London, door to door) which comes with none of the joys of romance!

Lunar_Eclipse

catoutthebag wrote: »

Ie you can't just hop in your car

Oh yes you can!

I did 28 hours on a plane to surprise DH for his birthday once! For a weekend. Young love. (His house mates knew I was coming.)

Seriously: live a little!

skattykatty

I married mine too. 120 miles. neither of us had a car. met up in his town or mine every 3 weeks or so.
I am surprised 1 hour would be an issue. Having spent most of my life in London (zone 4!), it's not unusual to travel for at least an hour to catch up with friends etc. in zone 1. Or more than an hour to see them in their part of town.