would you do long distance relationship?

Skintski

I dated a guy who lived 400 miles away for 18 months, we used to fly up and down twice a month to make it work. Sadly in the end I decided he wasn't the right guy for me.

I met a guy through a mutual friend who lived 230 miles away and we drove to see each other which was a four hour journey. We moved in after 7 months and now we've been married for 2 years.

I'm a firm believer in that if it's the right person you will make it work.

bhagatwebcreation

True love matters distance wouldn't fade it away..

catoutthebag

duchy wrote: »

Most people with careers and a social life tend to need to plan to see a person they are dating - especially as most people tend to date people similar to themselves so plannin g is needed to synchronize.

My partner used to live four houses down the street from me when we first got together - but because we both work shift we still needed to plan to ensure we got time together -no different to had we lived 50 miles apart.

Exactly what I was getting at. So contrary to what people said, if you have social life or work involves long days and commutes, I'm right you can't just 'hop in a car'...50 miles in rush traffic can be twice as long.

Of course ok for short term but long term?

Suprised to hear these long commute relationships on mse waste of time and money and usually never work. Imagine having to see your OH every few weeks

catoutthebag

maman wrote: »

I had LDR with my now DH. We used to meet up half way most weekends. I'd generally drive and he'd take the train. If time allowed we'd stay over in a B&B otherwise it was just for the day. That was 35 years ago and we're very happy still.


What I find strange on OP is that s/he isn't in a relationship just thinking about it. So what's the plan? Is OP going to trail around a town 50 miles away just to see what's on offer?:rotfl:


Surely what really matters is whether it's the right person for you rather than where they live.

Course it's about the right person. So hence if you can't see them easily and both are not committed to making the effort. . It's a problem. I didn't say if I was or wasn't in this situation - so? Problem? I have been in longer distance twice before so I'm experienced . I'm asking others their thoughts.

catoutthebag

Skintski wrote: »

I dated a guy who lived 400 miles away for 18 months, we used to fly up and down twice a month to make it work. Sadly in the end I decided he wasn't the right guy for me.

I met a guy through a mutual friend who lived 230 miles away and we drove to see each other which was a four hour journey. We moved in after 7 months and now we've been married for 2 years.

I'm a firm believer in that if it's the right person you will make it work.

Yep takes 2 to tango / salsa

catoutthebag

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Defensive? No-one seems to think and hour or so is long distance, which I would have thought would please you, given your question. I think many people probably envisaged a plane ride away.

Personally, a small distance of 50-100 miles (though you specifically said 50 miles with a person in mind in your opening post so you were not being hypothetical, just vague with details) does not necessarily exclude weekday visits, although of course it might not be practical if the people involved work different shifts for example. My point was mainly that most people will go to a lot of effort for love and I wouldn't even think to ask the question because the distance is virtually nothing.

I'm not sure why these replies haven't made you think 'great, this is distance is nothing, let's get it on ...' though you perhaps feel a bit silly for asking?

I don't have to give any details if I don't wish.

50 miles was a minimum. It's my boundary and not yours.

Say you finish work....and YOU travel 100 miles (your number) after work (I finish at 6pm - 7pm), get there 8-10 pm. Stay an hour to drive 2 hours back, to get up at 6-7am for work.

What an ideal and stress free situation you and others paint for a mid week minimum of 1 visit for a hypothetical someone who's a (let's face it) considerable distance away

steph2901

I married mine, he lived about 50 minutes drive away. I know it's not that much of a distance compared to some, but I'd say that if you like the person that much, you will make it work somehow.

GalaxyStar

My fiance and I was long distance while at University, I stayed at home and He went up north about 3 hours away by train, he couldn't drive. We'd been together about a year before he moved away, I think it was harder having him there every day then not see him for a month or more than it would have been had we met online maybe. It was very hard being apart, though I think I had the short straw as he went and did the whole uni thing while I went local and stayed with my parents so I didn't quite have as busy life as he did! But the whole time it was hard, but I knew I couldn't deal with him not being there at all so never went through my head to break up. It was so exciting getting the train up to see him and so exciting when he came home - I miss the train journeys! But I don't miss the parting - that was the hardest! Now we've been together 8 years and he proposed last month! Some do work out, long distance just really tests the strength of the relationship, there's nothing we can't go through after that I don't think!

System

Communication is the key and spending good quality time together when you meet.

The danger is when one or both of you start to change.

catoutthebag

Judi wrote: »

Communication is the key and spending good quality time together when you meet.

The danger is when one or both of you start to change.

Like any relationship