Quit everything , and start again over 50?

Smodlet

I got it, wendym, and thank you so much.

lessonlearned

wendym wrote: »

Not going to add to all the sensible advice.

LL - just wanted to say how amazingly impressive your debt clearance is, and at a time when life had pulled the rug from under you.

Smodlet - sorry I failed to add 'right back atcha'.

Enthusiasticsaver - sorry to hear about your brother. I know how difficult it is to say No with a chronic illness. People just don't get it.

AC - hope the week goes well, and that you keep in touch. Keep a tight hold on the purse strings!

To keep going I sold as much as possible. Still racked up £30k. DWP were useless. It took 18 months 3 appeals, god knows how many assessments and then finally a tribunal comprising a panel of 3 judges before they finally awarded him DLA. I have never seen anything like it.

SOcial Services were even worse. They promised the earth and delivered nothing, I had to pay for a stairlift, several wheelchairs because his needs kept changing, and various house adaptstions and safety features such as grab rails. They even had the nerve to say they needed to inspect the work I had paid for in case it didn't meet with their health and safety requirements........bloody cheek.

When my husband went into a home I had to then put the house back to rights before I could sell it. A new bath because the carers had wrecked it, £700 worth of damage to the kitchen because I was so stressed and exhausted I managed to set fire to it. I had to have all the wooden floors resurfaced because the carers had dragged equipment over them, I had to fix and fill deep gouges in architraves, skirting boards and walls which had sustained wheelchair damage and then I had to drcorate from top to bottom.

All this whilst trying to visit my husband every day and keep a watchful eye on my mother who was failing fast. Again not one penny piece from DWP.

Get this they stopped all payments, and SS took half of my husband private pension. I was too ill to work but they would not help me. I had half of my husband's pension and that was it.

So that's how I racked up £30k of debt.

I rushed to get the house ready for market. Luckily I sold the house in three weeks. I then cleared my debts.

Like AC I was left with roughly £250k .

I have given my sons £50k each as deposits and renovation budgets to get them on the property ladder.

The rest will buy me a little house.

I now have no debts and sufficient income to keep me in cruises and frocks.......:rotfl:

Seriously I'm ok. It's been a long and rocky road and there were times when I felt like throwing in the towel. But I got there, which is why I have tried to support and encourage AC. I knew he would make it.

Guess what though........I would live quite happily with £30k debt if I could have my husband back.

AC I doubt you will have Internet access for while. So I will wish you well.

Now remember............clear all those debts immediately and from now on think before you act, plan ahead, shop around, learn to cook and cut down on those expensive coffees..

They are just all milk anyway and you cant afford the calories.

Buy yourself a nice coffee machine or better still a cafetière and make decent coffee for a fraction of the price.

I recommend Aldis filter coffee. It's half the price that the Big 4 charge and its a far superior coffee.

A £10 cafetière - job done.

Good luck.

copperjar

Hi AC. Looks like things are going full throttle at the moment and it's all a bit chaotic. Which is only to be expected. I have just caught up on last 3 days and I have to say I can totally understand why AC is making decisions that might not seem rational to some. He is getting so much contradictory advice and is trying to please everyone!! Someone says get a cleaning company in, save yourself the stress. Someone else then says stop being an ostrich and throwing money at everything. Brother being called toxic isn't calming the situation down, every decision being questioned - why are you doing this, why that?! I feel stressed out just reading it so poor AC must be all over the place.

Please write a list AC and see what you have left to do. It seems like plans are actually in place for the removals, temporary accommodation, rubbish run and cleaning. Money going into seperate account. Discussion and decisions on settling your debts can be made when head a bit clearer.

I moved last week with partner, parents, friends all helping and I've been stressed beyond belief. AC is doing this on his own and is doing his best.

another_casualty

copperjar wrote: »

Hi AC. Looks like things are going full throttle at the moment and it's all a bit chaotic. Which is only to be expected. I have just caught up on last 3 days and I have to say I can totally understand why AC is making decisions that might not seem rational to some. He is getting so much contradictory advice and is trying to please everyone!! Someone says get a cleaning company in, save yourself the stress. Someone else then says stop being an ostrich and throwing money at everything. Brother being called toxic isn't calming the situation down, every decision being questioned - why are you doing this, why that?! I feel stressed out just reading it so poor AC must be all over the place.

Please write a list AC and see what you have left to do. It seems like plans are actually in place for the removals, temporary accommodation, rubbish run and cleaning. Money going into seperate account. Discussion and decisions on settling your debts can be made when head a bit clearer.

I moved last week with partner, parents, friends all helping and I've been stressed beyond belief. AC is doing this on his own and is doing his best.

Copperjar , you have basically summed it all up.
It's heading towards midnight . Still stuff in the middle of the floor .
Just emptied the fridge. Bloody stench of mice gone off.
I haven't enough bubble wrap for all my pictures . If the removal men take them and they break . No big deal. It's the pictures that matter.
Then you keep the tv. Boxes in the loft . Wil the box hold the TVs ?
No they ducking won't . Stood on broken glass .
I have to go to the loft.empty crateful of vhs . There is a crate ful of books . Both of these need to be emptied . These should accommodate basic kitche stuff and funny things . Also the remainder of stuff left on the floor .
Just chucked about half a dozen full rubbish bags for the cats and foxes. Foxes on prednisolone .a thought .
I may come back on Friday or Saturday to cover my tracks . May put things in my brothers flat
I will sleep like a lamb sheen this is over.dont care if I don't wake up.

lessonlearned

A little pot of bicarbonate of soda will neutralise fridge whiffs.

Your pictures can be wrapped in bath towels, sheets, knitwear etc.

Your TV can be wrapped up in your duvet.

You can use cushions and pillows as additional padding to protect delicate items such as TVs, stereos, mirrors etc.

Easy peasy.......sorted.

Of course you want to wake up....dont be such a drama queen. :rotfl:

You have got that new life waiting for you.

As Copperjar as pointed out.....chaos is to be expected.

Just added - most removal firms have blankets on the van which they use to provide additional protection for delicate stuff.

gallygirl

another_casualty wrote: »

I may come back on Friday or Saturday to cover my tracks . May put things in my brothers flat

Do NOT put anything in your brother's flat. How much do you think they would charge you to bring it to Poole? More than whatever it is would be worth I bet. Let the removal men take everything, as LL says they have big blankets etc.

And don't forget to breathe! Busy few days ahead but it really is the start of your new life so enjoy it.

Verbatim

Good luck with the move.

lessonlearned

Hope all goes well......looks like you have got a dry day which always helps.....:rotfl:

another_casualty

Using 4g
Removal men expected shortly . Went to bed around 140
Got up around 445
85% of stuff in living room.
Pilates machine and picture frames in one room.
Bed( which needs to be dismantled in the othet room.
Did what I could .finished about 15 mins ago.
Hope it is smooth enough. Wish me luck

grunnie

Good luck AC.