Best man speech

fairy_lights

-When X asked me to be his best man, I felt honoured, we've been friends since we were X years old and it means a lot to me to be here today
-The bride is absolutely stunning, X is a very lucky man - and so is the Bride because he's also a really top guy
-The bridesmaids also look stunning
-So does the Bride & Grooms respective mothers
-*Insert gently humorous anecdote about the time X had a terrible haircut/ate a whole wheel of cheese and fell asleep etc*
-You wish X and bride a whole life of happiness like their grandparents who've been married 50 years/like penguins who mate for life/heartwarming metaphor
-Everyone toast the bride and Groom!

notanewuser

BIL's best man had everyone laughing with "and I'm sure you'll enjoy yourselves on honeymoon in North Wales". Groom looks confused. "Oh, I thought you said you were going to Bangor (bang her) for 2 weeks....."

fairy_lights

Gavin83 wrote: »

One of my 'stories' is about when the groom lost his virginity. It's the one thing I think might potentially be pushing the boundaries a little and I'm 50/50 if I should take it out or not.


I'm also planning on telling a story about when the groom !!!!ed himself when drunk and tried to pretend he split a drink. I'm happy I can get away with that one though.

No, no, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOO, NO.

Pollycat

Gavin83 wrote: »

One of my 'stories' is about when the groom lost his virginity. It's the one thing I think might potentially be pushing the boundaries a little and I'm 50/50 if I should take it out or not.

I'm also planning on telling a story about when the groom !!!!ed himself when drunk and tried to pretend he split a drink. I'm happy I can get away with that one though.

You are joking....:eek:

Please say you are joking.....

meritaten

When my son got married a few years back I was a bit dubious about his choice of best man. I needn't have worried - the shy lad who probably had never said more than a dozen words to me in over twenty years was brilliant. he gave a hilarious speech starting with 'The Groom has warned me not to swear in this speech cos his nan will wash my mouth out with soap and water'! he gave proper thanks where they were due - praised the bride and bridesmaids - then told some stories from when he and son were children together. finished by thanking the staff at the venue and saying nice things about the food and service.
Perfect - considering he had rather overindulged on the Jack Daniels and was three sheets to the wind!

Gavin83

meritaten wrote: »

praised the bride and bridesmaids

What sort of praise? If I comment on how beautiful the bridesmaids look (or a similar compliment) I genuinely think people will think I'm taking the pee and it could go down terribly.

fairy_lights

Gavin83 wrote: »

What sort of praise? If I comment on how beautiful the bridesmaids look (or a similar compliment) I genuinely think people will think I'm taking the pee and it could go down terribly.

Everyone looks beautiful when they're dressed up (and if they don't, pretend they do).

meritaten

you could say something along the lines of 'the bride looked absolutely radiant and the bridesmaids looked stunning'! while privately thinking 'the bride looked smug and the bridesmaids looked like mugshots'! you are not supposed to tell the absolute truth!
oh and our dear best man endeared himself to the brides mum and myself by saying we had done the wedding proud with our outfits! then stage whispered 'but, then everyone has really made an effort and its the best dressed wedding I have ever been too'. his flattery was outrageous but he made it work and had us laughing.

itsnotarace

Gavin83 wrote: »

One of my 'stories' is about when the groom lost his virginity. It's the one thing I think might potentially be pushing the boundaries a little and I'm 50/50 if I should take it out or not.


I'm also planning on telling a story about when the groom !!!!ed himself when drunk and tried to pretend he split a drink. I'm happy I can get away with that one though.

Do you think making a comment along the lines of her being the only one of his girlfriends I've ever gotten along with is acceptable? I'd kind of present it in a jokey way even though it's true.

Obviously only you can judge the audience and how liberal the families are, but me personally I would happily have used the getting on with the girlfriend comment, and possibly even the groom drunk story.
I wouldn't have touched the losing his virginity one though. Not a chance. That could easily blow up in your face and is likely to embarrass the bride / her family.

And yeah, you have to praise the bridesmaids and say they look beautiful and did a great job today etc

TBagpuss

yes, do bear in mind that there will (probably) be a range of people there including older relatives, children etc.
I would steer well clear of any anecdotes about the groom losing his virginity or getting !!!!ed and wetting himself.

And unless you are an experiences and popular public speaker, keep it short. 5 minutes is plenty.

Don't say anything that you wouldn't be happy to have said about you, in front of your entire family including any grandparents etc.