Best man speech

Gavin83

Hello all,

I'm due to do a best mans speech soon at my friends wedding and naturally I'm pretty nervous and haven't done this before. I'm sure there are plenty of people on here who have experience with this so I'm hoping for some advice. What to include/not include, any obvious mistakes I should avoid and tips to calm the nerves would be excellent. I obviously want the groom to feel a bit silly but not leave the bride with an everlasting grudge against me.

As a way of making this topic a little more 'fun' feel free to share any best man speech horror stories you've experienced for us all to laugh and cringe at.

Pollycat

If you Google 'best man speech' there'll be lots of advice on the content (and what not to include).

DomRavioli

Having spent summers when I was at uni mainly working for a local hotel which did a lot of weddings, I've heard some nasty ones in my time.

Stay away from in jokes, mainly jokes altogether if at all possible. It is a celebration of the couple, so stick to that. No weird stories from when you were younger, no exes, just stick to the basics and you'll be fine.

And just a heads up - what YOU think would be funny probably isn't funny to anyone else. I always advise to read the speech to the mother of the bride before you say it in front of a packed room of people you likely don't know that well, if she likes it then you'll be great, but be respectful.

Gavin83

DomRavioli wrote: »

Stay away from in jokes, mainly jokes altogether if at all possible. It is a celebration of the couple, so stick to that. No weird stories from when you were younger, no exes, just stick to the basics and you'll be fine.

I thought the whole point of a best mans speech was to make people laugh and include silly stories from the grooms past.

I have included some stories which are fairly borderline but compared to some of the stuff I could have included it's pretty mild.

euronorris

- Only mention the bride, and bridesmaids, in a positive light.
- Leave in-jokes well alone, as half of the guests just won't get it.
- Only tell a story that you wouldn't be mortified if the roles were reversed and it was read out in front of YOUR close family and friends.
- Jokes and stories are fine, but keep them light. Telling the story of how your mate got so drunk on a night out once, that he got a blowie off a much older woman/vomited all over himself repeatedly/went home with three birds/cheated on someone (even if it's not the bride) will go down like a lead balloon. Your mate will be mortified, his family will be horrified, and the bride will likely hate you forever!

Pollycat

Gavin83 wrote: »

I thought the whole point of a best mans speech was to make people laugh and include silly stories from the grooms past.

I have included some stories which are fairly borderline but compared to some of the stuff I could have included it's pretty mild.

I agree with DomRavioli & euronorris's advice.

I think if you do include some 'borderline' stories, be prepared to receive the cold shoulder from the bride - and possibly the groom too.

Gavin83

I have seen some pretty terrible best man speeches. In fact I'd only say I've seen one I'd describe as great. It was his brother who did it and most of it was silly things the groom had done as a child. Some of the horrors I've seen include:

1) A speech totally full of in jokes. The whole speech contained things like "remember that night we went out in Cardiff and that thing happened I can't really talk about here." and the 3 other people who'd been there laughed while everyone else sat silent.

2) A speech that was entirely about the grooms manhood.

3) A speech that was mostly about the grooms sexual exploits before they'd got together.

4) A speech where the best man got so drunk beforehand his speech consisted of him crying and telling the groom not to get married, it would be the biggest mistake he'd make. Bit late by that point.

5) Probably the worst of all, a speech that caused the mother of the bride to leave the room in floods of tears. It's worth noting that the brides parents were extremely religious and therefore had all the beliefs that came with that. Clearly their daughter, Unknown to them didn't quite share the same opinions. The speech consisted of the best man telling everyone in the room, in really graphic detail what they'd got up to in the bedroom. It didn't help that they were clearly quite adventurous. When her parents had clearly expected no sex before marriage they really didn't take it well.

So I do know some of the things to avoid!

tomtontom

My cousin's best men recreated the nativity they'd done together at primary school. That was ace.

I like borderline stories, that's the whole point of the best man's speech to me!

When a friend got married he sang to the bride. It was horrific. Do not attempt similar

euronorris

Childhood stories are usually a winner.


Even my Dad caught me out (the bride) at my wedding, by circulating a photo of me at around 9 years old - awful clothing, and a boy's haircut, and I was posing (like an idiot). Embarrassing? Yes. But acceptable? Yes. I laughed along with everyone else.


Be wary of any kids that might be there as well.

Gavin83

euronorris wrote: »

Be wary of any kids that might be there as well.

That is probably the biggest concern. The groom has a sister there who's 12 and a brother who's 9 and that's the kids that I'm aware of.

I am lucky in that both sets of parents are pretty liberal. I think I could tell almost anything and the grooms parents would find it funny. The only one who is a bit touch and go is the mother of the bride. I am considering the suggestion of running the speech by her first, especially considering as they only live a mile away from me and I do know them pretty well.

thriftyemma

At mine and my now-ex-husband's wedding, the best man (who was in the forces, and also groom's brother) was called up for duty at the last minute. Groom's dad stepped in. It was an utter disaster. Ex's dad spent about 10 minutes waxing lyrical about how wonderful the groom's brother was, how he was so proud of their army boy, and how terrible it was he couldn't be here. Then he cried. He then spoke for a minute about the actual groom, basically giving a quick resume of past jobs. And that was it. A few members of my family had to leave the room they were so angry at the speech.

Don't do that. Keep it light-hearted, fairly short 5-10 minutes, and include some special or funny moments you shared with the groom. If you'd be embarrassed to say it in front of your own mum, don't say it