To give or to give up?

tesuhoha

The mortgage in your name only of course.

tomstickland

Spreadbetting companies allow you to bet on financial markets as well as sporting events. On financial markets it's identical to speculating on share prices. It is gambling, just as speculation is gambling.

Sadly, the OP's husband made the mistake of borrowing money to gamble with, always a risky maneouvre. The second big mistake was aiming to win back the losses.

Spread betting sites are plastered with warnings about how risky it is.

mitty_2

rayday2 wrote: »

I would sign the money over to the children to be honest sounds drastic but if he was divorce you he could claim that money back, very scarey stuff.

He is a gambler and gamblers get desperate. Is he working now how will he may his DMP?

I understand where people are coming from here, but there is a good chance that this guy is a good husband & father..who's made a big mistake.

You do need to be wary, but you may not need to loose a good relationship as well as all that money.

AceCobra1

tomstickland wrote: »

Spreadbetting companies allow you to bet on financial markets as well as sporting events. On financial markets it's identical to speculating on share prices. It is gambling, just as speculation is gambling.

Sadly, the OP's husband made the mistake of borrowing money to gamble with, always a risky maneouvre. The second big mistake was aiming to win back the losses.

Spread betting sites are plastered with warnings about how risky it is.

Its always nice to see a 'specialist' from another board trying to help out:):money:

Paulxo

What's more important to you? Money?

Do you remember...'for richer or poorer?'.

I don't see what security has got to do with it. You have savings, so you're secure. Going bankrupt is ok if you've got that kind of money saved up. Not as if you really need any credit is it?

You can continue to rent (is now really the time to go househunting? Honestly) and live. Your husband made a mistake, he now needs your support. I'm sure he did it in order to make you rich and secure. It didn't work. So what?

Support him. If you take everything else away from him that would be criminal.

Telling his Mummy? Which one of you is 12?

Paulxo

tesuhoha wrote: »

The mortgage in your name only of course.

Typical MSE advice this. Your partner is 68k in debt? Have you thought about getting a 200k mortgage? Could save yourself £200 a month! :mad:

Honestly.

pania

ok paulxo, I appreciate that everyone has there own opinon and that everyone has a right to voice it, however this board is for support, not for angry faces and honestlys. This woman is quite rightly angry at the situation and no doubt a whole number of situations are going through her head right now. As far as the OP is concerned she is working through the stages of grief and will eventually come to her own conclusion on the best way forward. i'd imagine hubby ain't feeling too hot either right now.
However we are all offering differing choices on the way forward, all of which i must add have been constructive and reasoned.

yes now may be the time to go househunting. The rent they are paying is extortionate i don't recall anyone mentioning a 200k mortgage (more a 2 bed terrace house, very modest that)and this would give the OP the security that she craves, a base in which to decide if she wishes to honour her marriage vows and free up some money per month to allow them both TOGETHER to repay the debt that has been incurred.

"Typical MSE advice" is rather harsh, AS stated we are all trying to give the benefit of our experience and knowledge. none of us qualified, none of us experts, just trying to help in a world where it could feel very lonely.

Honestly!!!



(I notice that you have plenty of thanks although i don't know what board you usually post on, your advice is obviously usually good and supportive.
Just please don't be too quick to be so harsh to someone who is in turmoil, shock and not knowing the way forward)

tomstickland

I think the OP's husband just went through a phase. A slightly deluded phase. It's very easy when dealing with money online for it to just become numbers on a screen. Based on his "beginners luck" he probably thought he could recoup the money.
I'm not clear whether the divorcing is just for money issues or relationship. I think it'd be a very drastic move.

rayday2

If you go for a mortgage you can protect yourself to a point by asking the solicitor to write in the contract that you put the deposit down our solicitor offered this for us. Then he would in the event of a break up only have claim in the profit of the house.

If he is entering into a DMP really you would be better keeping it all in your own name his past is compicated and hampered by huge debts and unsound employment.

madmoney_2

hi, i had an online gabling problem, allbeit not as financially devastating as this, but it got to the point where i was spending my last penny on a game, praying against all the odds for a win, and i was constantly "chasing my losses". your partner needs help for his addiction, if you got yourselves straight again he may be tempted to gamble once more - get him to have a look at gamblers anon its on the web, i think he will identify alot with the symptoms on there. whatever you decide to do, good luck, just remember that we are all human and make mistakes - just like paulxo ripping into our pania lol xxx