Feel so alone

Popstess

I honestly feel so different. I really needed to face up to things and it was a horrible shock when I added up what I owed and realised what an idiot I'd been and how out of control feels good to feel a bit more in control x

12_month_challenge

I tend not to look at the whole amount that I owe Its too scary :eek:

I am looking at 1 CC at a time and will throw any spare cash I have to it and then the next and so on.

Try not to beat yourself up about it..

The main thing is you are looking where you are going and not where you've been

Popstess

Teacher2 wrote: »

"I also spoke to my brother about Xmas and he said he'd be happy to give me money rather than presents and thinks my dad would too. So hopefully Xmas will help me chip away a bit too. "

Hi Popstess. I have just been reading your thread and you seem very determined to get on top of things. The advice and encouragement given by others is supportive and useful. I see that your family are willing to give you cash for Christmas which is great as it's a really expensive time and often a budget breaker.

However, I'd also advise doing 'no present' arrangements with others or Secret Santas where you only have to buy one present amongst a group.

Another tip, if you really can't face telling people you are skint is to ask for John Lewis vouchers. They can then be spent on essential groceries and products in Waitrose. Of course, Waitrose is pricey but if you get their Waitrose card you are offered your own selection of 20% off a range of products. I use this and also only buy when essentials are on offer. They also give you free tea and coffee in store which is a feel-good treat and a free newspaper if you spend a fiver in the week or a tenner at the weekend. They also have amazing knock-down yellow sticker products if you go at the right time and catch them before the hyenas descend.

Other Christmas ideas are 'give time, not money', i.e. some babysitting or dog walking and making pressies like home made preserves or cakes. My daughter made lovely cushions for her friends last year out of old dress material and embroidered initials on them, gifts which which were extremely well received.

You could try just doing kids' presents and missing out the adults and you should definitely set a present price limit. Try a tenner or even a fiver. It's surprising how many others are just plain relieved if you set a limit as they are feeling the pinch too.

Good luck with your retrenching and don't give up! Paying back debt is like going on a diet. Don't blow the whole thing just because you ate an extra doughnut. If you have a slip (and life is damned expensive) go back to the saving as if nothing had happened.

Hiya Teacher :j
Thanks for the message and words of support. I don't have a waitrose near where I live but all that sounds great!
Yes I have suggested secret Santa to a couple of friends. I also like the idea of home made presents and presents that don't cost money but help people out.
Totally agree about it being like a diet I'm not very good at those either lol!

rolls99

Just to say I think this is one of those brilliant threads that I've just read every post again - great stuff!!!!


A couple of comments: years ago, with the exception of the young 'uns, as a family we all set a budget of a tenner for Christmas presents. I can honestly say, that had led to some of the best presents any of us have had or found for each other, because it forces you to really hunt for relevant and/or useful things and it's amazing what you can find, particularly looking throughout the year: a book for instance normally over £20 down to even below a tenner - and, it's all great fun too.


As for shopping: bargain hunting can be addictive - even with brands: Why pay £8 for laundry liquid when you can get it for half that, or £1 over £2 for something else - as the relevant boards for that will testify it's also fun.


I would also say that remember, everyone's human (!) and in tackling your debt, not only is it something that needs paid off, but, probably the biggest part of that is not adding more to it.


While it's great to focus on clearing it as fast (and cheaply) as possible, try and avoid the danger of going too hard at it at least initially; give yourself the consolation that without adding to the debt, and making a few initial payments, it's still reducing; what I'm saying is, where you can, also put aside what you can which as others have said, helps in that that fund makes it less likely you'd need to use credit.


I note your locked savings account; brilliant idea. How about - when you have time, opening a linked savings account on any of your current account(s)? One that you can treat as "Yours and yours alone" - the locked savings account is great but as well as funding that, it might be an idea to have an additional savings pot too, which you can get into. And I'd be willing to bet you might just find you won't be as tempted as you think!


Just some random thoughts, but, please keep us updated on how you're going, I know I'm not the only one liking this thread!

Butti

A few years ago when unemployed I made ties, waistcoats and beach bags. This year I have to pack my pressies so I'm making Kirsty 's messenger bags.

Popstess

rolls99 wrote: »

Just to say I think this is one of those brilliant threads that I've just read every post again - great stuff!!!!


A couple of comments: years ago, with the exception of the young 'uns, as a family we all set a budget of a tenner for Christmas presents. I can honestly say, that had led to some of the best presents any of us have had or found for each other, because it forces you to really hunt for relevant and/or useful things and it's amazing what you can find, particularly looking throughout the year: a book for instance normally over £20 down to even below a tenner - and, it's all great fun too.


As for shopping: bargain hunting can be addictive - even with brands: Why pay £8 for laundry liquid when you can get it for half that, or £1 over £2 for something else - as the relevant boards for that will testify it's also fun.


I would also say that remember, everyone's human (!) and in tackling your debt, not only is it something that needs paid off, but, probably the biggest part of that is not adding more to it.


While it's great to focus on clearing it as fast (and cheaply) as possible, try and avoid the danger of going too hard at it at least initially; give yourself the consolation that without adding to the debt, and making a few initial payments, it's still reducing; what I'm saying is, where you can, also put aside what you can which as others have said, helps in that that fund makes it less likely you'd need to use credit.


I note your locked savings account; brilliant idea. How about - when you have time, opening a linked savings account on any of your current account(s)? One that you can treat as "Yours and yours alone" - the locked savings account is great but as well as funding that, it might be an idea to have an additional savings pot too, which you can get into. And I'd be willing to bet you might just find you won't be as tempted as you think!


Just some random thoughts, but, please keep us updated on how you're going, I know I'm not the only one liking this thread!

Hi Rolls,
Thanks so much, it really does mean so much to me receiving all this support as the title says I feel very alone "in the real world" but on this forum I feel supported thank you

Do you mean an account for "spending" money? I've been going some jiggling about tonight with my online banking.
So far I've got my normal current account where my wages go in and my DB's and Standjng orders come out of.
I've got a Christmas savings account that I can't touch for 12 months.
I've got an account that I'm saving for my car tax and MOT
I've got an account where I'm gona put away a little each month for birthdays and that kinda thing.
I've got my Emergency Fund savings account that I can access.
I opened a Tesco current account recently which hasn't been sorted yet but when it has I think i might use this as my spending account.

Thanks again for the support

Popstess

Butti wrote: »

A few years ago when unemployed I made ties, waistcoats and beach bags. This year I have to pack my pressies so I'm making Kirsty 's messenger bags.

That is such a good idea Butti I bet people loved them! They sound like lovely presents

2rea22

Hi Pops

My girls have just got a housewarming gift for 2 of their friends - a couple of brothers setting out on their own. They don't have a lot of money so they've been to poundland and spent a 10er on "stuff". However, they've stuck a label on each "gift". So on the washing up gloves they've put "so your hands can stay lovely and soft while doing the dishes" Earplugs "for when your brother has a lady friend round", torch "for when you forget to pay the leccy bill" Carpet cleaner "for when things get messy!" etc etc! Cheap, cheerful and very funny! And I'm gonna use this idea for a few of my christmas gifts- and I'm proud of em for their money saving!

joedenise

2rea22 - That's a great idea for cheap pressies.

Pops - Only found your thead a couple of days ago and have read it all. I've subscribed - you're so inspiring.

Denise

rolls99

Popstess wrote: »

Hi Rolls,
Thanks so much, it really does mean so much to me receiving all this support as the title says I feel very alone "in the real world" but on this forum I feel supported thank you

Do you mean an account for "spending" money? I've been going some jiggling about tonight with my online banking.
So far I've got my normal current account where my wages go in and my DB's and Standjng orders come out of.
I've got a Christmas savings account that I can't touch for 12 months.
I've got an account that I'm saving for my car tax and MOT
I've got an account where I'm gona put away a little each month for birthdays and that kinda thing.
I've got my Emergency Fund savings account that I can access.
I opened a Tesco current account recently which hasn't been sorted yet but when it has I think i might use this as my spending account.

Thanks again for the support

Sounds like you're well sorted with accounts! With a "personal" account, what a lot of people do is, with their main account, use it simply for Wages and bills (DDs, SOs etc), leave a small buffer over this, and move any cash to a "Spending" account which means you don't need to monitor the main account assuming you don't then spend on it. Then any money in the "Spending account" is there for groceries, etc so you can see at a glance what you've got. Really just an extension of what you're already doing but not only segregating expenses like the car, birthdays etc, but also you daily/weekly spend. Then, from the "Spending" account, a linked saver, you could shift anything left at the end of the month to that so it's a little "extra", it is basically what works best for you however, but, in particular with lots of debits going from your main account a lot of people like this method so it removes the need to think "I need to leave £XX for YY" before spending anything.