Abuse...whilst shopping

faerielight

I get abuse too, for not "looking " disabled or old.The worst for me is trying to use disabled toilets.. I was in Costa a few weeks ago and needing the loo, a lady had a huge buggy blocking the entrance and she refused to move it and kicked off at me.. It's a horrible feeling, feeling like you have to prove your illness or disability.. I have a toilet card which says " the owner of this card has a medical condition and needs to use the toilet quickly" and flashing the c\rd still didn't get her to move.. I find it so humiliating having to fight people who don't understand the concept of invisible disabilities.. it does suck, peoples' ignorance and aggression .

mrgeh79

best thing to do. take a picture on your phone, post it on social media - name and shame them. i have done this with people parking in disabled bays. quick and effective way of shaming people. i am also getting some cards printed to put on windscreens that do not display a blue badge saying- .
"Ignorance and stupidity is not a disability"

Gemzie121

missblue wrote: »

I love getting the wheelchair out and telling them it is not over 60s parking, the badge has a picture of a wheelchair on it for a reason).

this in itself can be a problem that causes abuse to genuine disabled people though... A lot of people forget that disabilities can be hidden and you can be disabled without being in a wheelchair! To say that the badge has a picture of a wheelchair for a reason is kind of odd to me as not everyone who is disabled uses one, I've always thought the symbol should be changed as it attracts abuse to people who don't fit the stereotype of a disabled person. I have the most severe form of spins bifida and problems with my legs, bladder etc. if I need the loo I have to go there and then! I've had accidents because I can't walk far or fast and can't get there in time, so embarrassing. my surgeon is amazed I can still walk, not very far at all without pain, and I take many pills daily to control my pain including nerve pills. but I can, however at some point it will paralyse me. For now I do not generally require a wheelchair unless I'm having a bad day with my legs or my spine, as I have a car that with my badge means I can park next to the door of wherever I'm going and so am limiting how far I have to walk and mobilise. My surgeons re comend that I must not walk or stand for far/long. When my pain is particularly bad I wear a "beckham boot". Because of this I hide my disability quite well and look fairly normal to other people (however under my clothing is a different story as I have a big lipoma from the SB and scars the length of my back, ankles, feet etc which I would happily show to anyone who tells me I am not disabled ). I have an ankle fusion so I need to open my door a lot wider than most people as I simply can't bend the foot to get in or out of my car in a normal space, plus it's even harder when I'm in a cast. I'm only 25 and I often get stared at, mainly by older people who seem to think there's nothing wrong with me. Fair enough, I look fine, but I'm really not. So many people must have the same problem everyday as hidden disabilities can leave you so open to abuse. It's sad, but I've felt safer and less judged by others when using the badge when I've had surgery and been in a wheelchair!

It's so wrong that people feel the need to justify to others why they are using the space. OP I know how you feel, and how you were treated is disgusting. I hope she felt guilty and embarrassed about sounding off. People probably think we just have a temporary condition when we have the casts on, like a sprain or something, so how dare we use the spaces. If they only knew what our lives were like everyday, they wouldn't judge us. I for one would love to be able to park further away/ walk everywhere. How much money I would save on fuel!! :eek:

System

I don't drive but experienced the unkinder side to people today

I was on the tram which was fine as i was sat down and it wasn't too busy, but then they decided to out it out of service forcing us to cram onto the tram behind. I get very anxious in crowded places and have had panic attack for many years. Usually when i feel one coming on i can control it to a degree and calm myself down. Today was not one of those days, i froze on the spot, felt like i couldn't breathe, felt faint and was basically a tearful mess. I know not everyone knows what to do with someone in that situation, but being stared at and physically shoved out of the way by several people certainly didn't help. People were tutting and making comments and honestly it was terrifying.

Thankfully there was a very kind elderly gentleman who not only gave up his seat and asked if i was ok, but stayed with me throughout and calmed me down.

My problem is that i have a mental illness. To look at me, i look perfectly healthy (if not somewhat overweight ), people don;t realise that there is something wrong with me. I once had half a train carraige full of people hurl abuse at me for daring to sit on a single seat. I did so as i wasn;t feeling well (my medication frequently makes me feel sick, drowsy and dizzy) and sometimes i find it hard to be surrounded by people so sit in priority seats (partly also because if i feel panicky i need to be able to get off as quick as possible). I get so many dirty looks, despite the fact i have a disabled travel pass and despite the fact if i see someone in need i will always try and give up my seat (though sometimes for reasons outlined above i can't).

People can be so judgmental, especially with non visible disabilities.

dekaspace

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I don't drive but experienced the unkinder side to people today

I was on the tram which was fine as i was sat down and it wasn't too busy, but then they decided to out it out of service forcing us to cram onto the tram behind. I get very anxious in crowded places and have had panic attack for many years. Usually when i feel one coming on i can control it to a degree and calm myself down. Today was not one of those days, i froze on the spot, felt like i couldn't breathe, felt faint and was basically a tearful mess. I know not everyone knows what to do with someone in that situation, but being stared at and physically shoved out of the way by several people certainly didn't help. People were tutting and making comments and honestly it was terrifying.

Thankfully there was a very kind elderly gentleman who not only gave up his seat and asked if i was ok, but stayed with me throughout and calmed me down.

My problem is that i have a mental illness. To look at me, i look perfectly healthy (if not somewhat overweight ), people don;t realise that there is something wrong with me. I once had half a train carraige full of people hurl abuse at me for daring to sit on a single seat. I did so as i wasn;t feeling well (my medication frequently makes me feel sick, drowsy and dizzy) and sometimes i find it hard to be surrounded by people so sit in priority seats (partly also because if i feel panicky i need to be able to get off as quick as possible). I get so many dirty looks, despite the fact i have a disabled travel pass and despite the fact if i see someone in need i will always try and give up my seat (though sometimes for reasons outlined above i can't).

People can be so judgmental, especially with non visible disabilities.

I was annoyed the other week when a bus driver demanded I move for a woman with a pram despite the signs saying 3 prams could be fitted (by the picture showing you put them sideways) and even said if someone in need wanted the seat to let them have it.

I have a bus pass and had a small crutch I used as had a fall a few weeks before and also back pain from an op and meant to be taking it easy, to be fair the woman in pram said it was ok for me not to move but the bus driver was moaning at me and looking at me as if I was a trouble maker.

Whats the point of having a disabled bus pass if I am told to move from disabled seats!

Has been a few other occasions where I have been struggling with shopping and limping due to the leg and people have their kids sitting on the disabled seats whilst not only me but I see elderly people forced to sit at the back, I have even had people be nasty to me a few times as they told me their kid wanted my seat and would cry if they didnt get it and when I said no get a mouthful of abuse from them saying how cruel I am.

OldMotherTucker

It's almost like you can't win!
I won't call it abuse but I've been on the end of some nasty comments at work because I occasionally use the disabled bays at work (and the illogical conclusion is that I get a 'free' car!!!).
NOT needing it all the time apparently brings into question my rights to use it when I do need it.

Sometimes you just have to count your blessings and accept that living with a chronic condition or disability is still preferable to remaining ignorant your entire life!

If you are entitled to use disabled parking then screw anyone else - head held high!

Cyclamen

Another potential problem is the 'healthy driver/carer/companion' returning to a car displaying a blue badge having helped the badge owner to their location.

We use my badge to 'drop me off' places and my healthy carer returns to the car, sometimes carrying shopping before coming back for me and my wheelchair. It can get painful having shopping on my lap.

I worry that someone will 'tell her off' if i'm not their now she is capable of standing her own ground and explaining she has just helped me get to X or is collecting me but it would upset me if she was reprimanded.

The badge can be used for this reason and we always use it according to the rules, but I need her to be able to park in a bay that i need, help me to my destination and be able to return to the car to move it without being aggressively challenged..polite enquiries are welcomed.

SandraScarlett

If any BB holders think things are difficult now, wait until the "3 weeks till Christmas", shopping brigade are out in force! Good Luck!


xx

Roxy07

I've had tons of abuse from people down the years because my disability is more "mental health" and because people can't see it, they assume if you struggle to do something you are just being awkward.. which isn't true.

Better to not dwell on it as it will only get you down.

OldMotherTucker

The boot was on the other foot for me on Monday! My son came home for lunch but couldn't get onto our private driveway because an NHS worker had decided it was okay to use it to park there to go shopping!! Completely blocked my car in for over an hour.

Really couldn't get over the neck of it!!!