Found a letter my Husband wrote

Daz2009

In my opinion it's generally better to confront issues like this as soon as possible,which is what you did and the outcome was pretty positive compared to the thoughts you'd been having.
Nothing worse than not knowing,better to find out one way or the other rather than let things fester.
As the saying goes,'it's good to talk'

FBaby

I'm really glad that you had that conversation but didn't you know about this woman he spent 3 years with before he met you? I find it a strange thing to never have discussed after all those years married.

beckysbobbles1

Hi,


I'm sorry to play devils advocate here but you've been together 25 years, how old did the letter look?


If it looks pretty freshly written then surely that would indicate that your husband hasn't been that honest with you.


Also if the letter doesn't look old/new how often do you move the furniture because again this would indicate a time frame.


I hope you for sake he is being honest.

Fionabell

Thanks for letting us know what happened and glad it's worked out.

I love happy endings.:)

VfM4meplse

beckysbobbles1 wrote: »

I hope you for sake he is being honest.

Me too. And that the toxic letter has now been destroyed.

ognum

I think this thread is a lesson, how awful it would of been if the OPs husband had died and she was going through his belongings, she would have ended up questioning her relationship with no one to get the truth from.

I will make sure all my files are in order with no hidden 'gems' that could come out an cause distress.

amistupid

anotherbumpom wrote: »

He told me that before he met me he was with a woman for 3 years, he thought they were happy together and he asked her to move in with him, which she did, one day he got home from work and she was gone, she had been sleeping with a friend of his and decided to go off with him, not long after that he met me.

He said he was going through a time in his life where "all women are the same" as in, I would just end up hurting him like she did, he said he didn't know how to handle us getting serious and he took it out on the wrong person, that it was his issue to work through at the time and writing his feelings down helped.

I asked him if our life together had been a mistake and he said no, that at the time of writing the letter he was sure he was making a mistake in getting involved with someone else but that over time his feelings grew and he fell in love with me and realised I was not the same as his ex. Apparently she was his first serious relationship, I knew of her in passing but did not know what she did.

I feel better after talking to him, still hurt to see those words but at least I know why.

I'm sorry to say but without proof of when the letter was written it's difficult to know if he's being truthful or can think fast on his feet..

carefullycautious

He doesn't think that quickly as he said he wrote it when you first came into his life, but then you go on to say it said that he did not want to come home from work to you and asked for overtime etc.




Why would you (husband in this) keep something like that behind a chest of drawers for all these years? If you overcame the initial feelings surely you would destroy this evidence.


I would be horrified to find something like this. Are men really that stupid

Anatidaephobia

amistupid wrote: »

I'm sorry to say but without proof of when the letter was written it's difficult to know if he's being truthful or can think fast on his feet..

Ultimately, it's probably impossible for either of them to prove when the letter was written; like anything else in a relationship, it comes down to trust in the end.

chiefie

I used to write things down instead of rowing and then throw the notes away. It was just a release and how I felt at the time. Not how I really felt, just a reaction to things. Not often, but it helped. I guess he probably did the same. If he didn't give it to you it was never intended for you to see it. I'm glad you talked about it though.