Husband refuses to put my name on the deed of the house

peachyprice

Meyor wrote: »

So living together now counts as a marriage?

If the co-habiting leads to the marriage then yes.

You're getting there, slowly.

74jax

Meyor wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. It appears to be the most reasonable and non judgemental so far.

Just out of interest, are you alright with your husband not leaving anything to your daughter in his will? And is he ok, with leaving everything to your daughter?

We're both perfectly fine. The only thing I don't like is he doesn't have a will. I don't even mind who he leaves what to, he could draw a will up to the same conditions as what dying without one would do, but it would make it easier for me to deal with everything if one was in place.

I don't mind he doesn't leave anything to DD - i'd prefer it of course but I don't mind. I would get a far wack if he were to die first and in turn that would go to DD. I also consider him a great step-dad, who if I were to die wouldn't turn his back on her and never speak to her again.

He doesn't mind at all that everything of mine goes to DD, he is very well off independant of what i would leave him and he and DD get on as a step parent/daughter do so he wouldn't want to see her not get what i have.

We've been together 10 years so a bit longer than you both - married for two, didn't live together before the marriage.

We did draw up a pre-nup though before getting married. Controvercial on here I know but he really wanted one and i couldn't have cared less so as he had the stronger feelings we drew one up. Basically in the first 10 years of marriage if we split then we revert to having what we came into the marriage with, after that it would obviously be 50:50 and worked out from there. Apart from if we split due to him cheating (this was a clause i put in), if that happends anytime after 2 years the pre-nup doesn't count and it would just be what a judge decides working for 50:50.

Pricivius

Meyor wrote: »

So living together now counts as a marriage?

The starting point for a judge will be the fact you got married and signed a binding legal contract to be "as one" and share everything. So 50/50 split.

They then look back to see if this was a short marriage and that actually you both made a huge mistake and were not compatible and it should never have happened. If they find this, they will put you both back into the position you were in on the morning of the wedding and we all pretend it never happened.

However, if you were living together as husband and wife for 3 years before getting married, they may struggle to reach the decision that you made a terrible mistake as you were for all intents and purposes married without the legal bit for all that time. It was not a big mistake that should never have happened as you had all that time to be ready for it and know what you both wanted and how it was going to work. So then we're back to 50/50 split.

On a separate note, whilst OP keeps saying this is not about divorce, her original post confirms she doesn't think the marriage can continue. I'm confused...

jackieblack

Pricivius wrote: »

On a separate note, whilst OP keeps saying this is not about divorce, her original post confirms she doesn't think the marriage can continue. I'm confused...

Maybe she's changed her mind now that she's realised divorce won't help her keep what she considers to be 'hers' :cool:

Meyor wrote: »

I need help as I really feel the marriage can not continue at this rate.

Meyor wrote: »

I am thinking that this marriage is doomed.

Meyor wrote: »

What are your opinions? TBH, I don't know if I am right or wrong at this point and just paranoid for no reason.

Are you any clearer now, OP?

Gloomendoom

Meyor wrote: »

What are your opinions? TBH, I don't know if I am right or wrong at this point and just paranoid for no reason.

You're wrong but you aren't coming across as paranoid.

Just my opinion though.

Bean83

74jax wrote: »

If I die, my will leaves the house to my DD. It's clear cut (or as much as these things can be.........)

If hubby dies he doesn't have a will (dont go there) so I only get a certain amount and the rest goes to his mum/sister. Nothing goes to my DD - his step daughter. So I make sure the provision for her is from me.

Should we divorce then wills obviously don't come in to it.

I assume you live in Scotland, because if you lived in England/Wales this would not be true. In England/Wales you would inherit everything unless he has descendants (i.e., children, grandchildren), in which case they would share some of the money. In Scotland, money would be shared between spouse, parents and siblings.

Further clarification for anyone who is interested: https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y

enthusiasticsaver

I can see where you are coming from but I think if you are adamant you do not want your OH's children to benefit from your flat then you need to make this clear in a will and keep it in your name. Similarly I can understand him wanting to protect his children's home which also happens to be your home. If anything were to happen to him what would happen to the children as this seems to be more of the issue?

You can keep certain assets out of the marital pot. I have a third share in a property which was gifted to me, my brother and sister by my mum and my share is worth around £100k which we own as tenants in common. My husband and I also own our own property in joint names with it going to the surviving partner. In the interests of inheritance tax and also if anything were to happen to me I have left my third share of the second property direct to my children, now adults. My husband will get our marital home but if he were to remarry I would not want his second spouse to benefit from a property which essentially is mine alone and not linked to my husband.

74jax

Bean83 wrote: »

I assume you live in Scotland, because if you lived in England/Wales this would not be true. In England/Wales you would inherit everything unless he has descendants (i.e., children, grandchildren), in which case they would share some of the money. In Scotland, money would be shared between spouse, parents and siblings.

Further clarification for anyone who is interested: https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y

i stand corrected, on googling it's changed since we got married. This (hopefully) might actually make him consider writing a will afterall.

POPPYOSCAR

Bean83 wrote: »

I assume you live in Scotland, because if you lived in England/Wales this would not be true. In England/Wales you would inherit everything unless he has descendants (i.e., children, grandchildren), in which case they would share some of the money. In Scotland, money would be shared between spouse, parents and siblings.

Further clarification for anyone who is interested: https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will/y

Do you know if the property is held so that on death it automatically becomes the property of the other(Joint tenancy)
is it then excluded from the £250,000 threshold?

FBaby

You are coming across as very defensive OP. What people are posting are not just point of views but facts. You clearly entered marriage without appreciating the consequences of it. That's your failing, not the law.

If as you say it is not about divorce, then I don't understand what you are arguing as you can leave what you want to whoever you want (without going into challenging wills).

So accept that in terms of marriage, it is no more your house/his house whichever name is on the deed. That is how it is whether you like it or not, and for your concerns in case of death, make an appointment with a solicitor and make a will, end of.