Children at weddings...

cashewnut

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I was just about to post this exact same thing.

Each to their own OP, but I don't understand 'child free' weddings.

My reasons for not inviting children:

1. I don't want them there. I don't know them well and they don't know me. Children can be noisy and there's a risk they'll disrupt the ceremony (happened several times at my cousin's wedding last month). I also don't think it's much fun for them!

2. The cost of weddings is in general expensive. We'd have 15 extra guests if we invited children. More than half of these (who aren't babies) would require a meal.

3. Capacity issues. We can fit a maximum of 60 at our ceremony and reception venues. We have invited 54 adults so just can't fit children in too.

Hope this helps explain why some people opt for adult-only weddings

pickledonionspaceraider

cashewnut wrote: »

My reasons for not inviting children:

1. I don't want them there. I don't know them well and they don't know me. Children can be noisy and there's a risk they'll disrupt the ceremony (happened several times at my cousin's wedding last month). I also don't think it's much fun for them!

2. The cost of weddings is in general expensive. We'd have 15 extra guests if we invited children. More than half of these (who aren't babies) would require a meal.

3. Capacity issues. We can fit a maximum of 60 at our ceremony and reception venues. We have invited 54 adults so just can't fit children in too.

Hope this helps explain why some people opt for adult-only weddings

Thank you I do understand better now - especially point one, if you don't know them - it'd be like inviting a stranger (adult or child) to enjoy the most special day of your life - and then end up with them on the wedding pics forever

ohreally

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

start married life with H2B not enjoying his day, and his family angry with you - or do you?

Sounds about par for the course.

lol_omg_wtf

Never heard of this before! Stunned that someone would not want to include these young members of their family to such a important day!
I suppose people get too caught up on the "perfect day". To me the perfect day would include sharing it with the children even if one of them spills something etc. Remembering the incident would not ruin my day. I dont live in a fairytale.

Kinski

I've been to some weddings where the children have behaved better than than the adults, it was also like having a free floor show with some of the things they did which made us laugh. I wouldn't dream of going to a wedding where family children were excluded in fact we didn't, we refused to go to my oh's nieces wedding as children were excluded including ours. Op how do you know that the children are going to be disruptive during the ceremony, are they wee horrors or are you just assuming they're going to be badly behaved.

duchy

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

This seems very strange to me. A fiance that is not prepared to pay towards his own wedding.

Or a bride that doesn't want to wait to save up for a wedding maybe ?

You say you've been together for "a long time" so surely you have wedding savings anyway or at least discussed the cost of a wedding.........or was the intention to marry a recent one and you've just been dating a long time ?

Kate908

It is so sweet to dress little children as angles on your wedding)

redfragglebiker

We got married in June. There are more children on my DH's side of the family and I must admit I was a bit concerned that we would end up with some kind of noisy interruption but as we were having children from both sides I didn't really say anything as whatever will be will be. I have to say the children behaved PERFECTLY all day. We didn't have a whimper out of any of hem (or if we did the parents were discreet enough that we didn't notice) Having the extra kids there made no difference to my enjoyment of our day but I know it made DH happy that ALL of the family were there. So from my experience I would say invite them. If your H2B would like them to be there then you need to remember it IS his day too, no matter how much focus generally tends to be on the bride. I can pretty confidently say that you're unlikely to notice the extra couple of little heads and you can always put a note in with the invites asking that if the child becomes distracted or distresses that the parents discreetly take them out of the ceremony room. You could even ask the registrar to say something about children being removed if they are being noisy - I've seen that work effectively if done in the right way.

lika_86

Kate908 wrote: »

It is so sweet to dress little children as angles on your wedding)

My favourites are obtuse and reflex. Although maybe everyone could be dressed as an angle and that way the bride could be right!

missmoose

I don't agree with the no children rule mostly for the reception, Often they're the first in the dance floor and encourage others to get up and dance.
I understand not wanting them at the ceremony because the probably will get bored of they're very young. However I remember when I was about 15 and my younger cousin (about 6 at the time) was really well behaved at a wedding we attended you'd not have known that she was there and she has ADHD. Point is it depends on the child and how they're brought up.
When I marry my ohs niece/much younger cousin will be flower girl and we plan to tell her from the off set that when in in my princess dress that she has to be quiet as a mouse and bribe her a little with a gift (which we will give her anyway as her flower girl gift) if she can be so quiet.
And anyone else with little ones will be asked if they can remove their children from the ceremony of they get agitated as we don't want anyone who wants to witness the ceramiby to feel like they have missed it due to noisy children.
I personally think I'd you can't say things like this to people then you're not really close enough to them to warrent them coming to your wedding