I'm so scared...

Keen_Young_Learner

Thank you all for your helpful and thoughtful replies! Lots of great things to think about.

I had the idea last night of asking family members for money towards a Flying Without Fear course instead of Christmas presents but looked it up and the original course (run by Virgin) is £267!!!! That's so expensive for one day! Has anyone done it, is it worth the money? Is the cheaper course offered by EasyJet just as good?

I feel much more in control with all of the suggestions sent over. I'm going to talk to the doc about changing my diazepam dose (although they always seem quite reluctant to give me any...maybe I look a bit like I'm trying to 'score'?) and see if they can offer any different support. The only thing is, I worry about taking sedatives in case the worst did happen - how would I cope with an emergency situation when dosed up?

I'll definitely try to talk to the pilot. If the cabin crew can offer support too that feels like a good solution to me - I really think it would help. Recently, though, I've been offered nowt. Even on my most recent flight, when I was crying hysterically and saying i had chest pain, they just walked past, leaving my boyfriend to comfort me

Keen_Young_Learner

Just tried to watch a takeoff video on YouTube, I was surprised to experience the racing heart and tearfulness I would get on a real flight! Hadn't realised I was that bad... At least I can soldier on with a YouTube video - it's much easier to write my phobic feelings off as unnecessary!

trolleyrun

Keen_Young_Learner wrote: »

Just tried to watch a takeoff video on YouTube, I was surprised to experience the racing heart and tearfulness I would get on a real flight! Hadn't realised I was that bad... At least I can soldier on with a YouTube video - it's much easier to write my phobic feelings off as unnecessary!

Keep watching it. Several times per day. That way it becomes more normal and desensitises you.

Another top tip: get a rubber band and put it round your wrist. Every time you have negative thoughts about flying (or anything else that causes anxiety), snap the band. Yes, it hurts! It's designed to remind you to think positively.

On the control issue, you won't have control over the actual flying. Thank goodness, really, as you don't have a pilot license What you do have control over is how you feel and react. It takes practice and it's not an instant fix. Take charge of your emotions and reactions. If you've had panic attacks in the past, you know the triggers. This means you can breathe yourself out of it with relaxation techniques. Also, just counting in your head will help. You can't panic when you're concentrating on something else.

pendragon_arther

Blackhat5 wrote: »

Ignore the requests not to fly: that will only build a phobia.

All kinds of exposure therapy will help: I watched lots and lots of clips on Youtube of flights filmed by enthusiasts out of the plane window. Although these are filmed by aircraft enthusiasts you start to realize that their enthusiasm comes from something truly astonising for all of us: the gift of flight. It will all seem more familiar when you actually board the flight.

You have to spend time thinking of what a fantastic benefit it is to reach places so far away so quickly, and actually what a breathtakingly beautiful thing it can be to look out of that window.

Also remember that in a battle between your imagination and your conscious mind the imagination wins every time. You have to build the discipline not to spend time thinking about the incredibly rare crashes. After all, I bet you don't devote time before every car journey thinking about the horrible possible results of a nasty car crash: no of course not!

And remember if those thoughts come, you can just say to yourself: "that's my silly imagination getting carried away again". Flying is incredibly safe.

I also thoroughly recommend a course called Thrive which is a CBT course by Rob Kelly (though it's not specifically a fear of flying course): you can buy the book or get the book and do the course. Regardless of what it costs, it will save a lot of money in the long run compared to having to do all journeys by train which is usually more expensive and much slower. Thrive concentrates a lot on each person's approach to control, and teaches you how you can change the faulty "programming" which is causing you trouble.

And by coincidence Rob is also the head of the hypnotherapy association which trained me, The International Association of Hypno-Analysts.

photome

Horizon81 wrote: »

The obvious answer is don't fly! Hypnotherapy is money for old rope.

I thought that as well until I tried it

Have you tried it?

OP it may be worth having one session it isnt that expensive

Horizon81

photome wrote: »

I thought that as well until I tried it

Have you tried it?

OP it may be worth having one session it isnt that expensive

A close friend tried it, multiple sessions in fact. Money for old rope.

To be honest OP, if you have such a fear and history of freaking out on planes, it's best you don't fly. Many people are quietly nervous on planes but don't let on, so seeing someone panicing, crying, and generally being scared doesn't exactly help their situation.

Remember the reason they have for the brace position isn't to stop you banging your head on the seat in front, it's so that it helps keep your teeth intact for when they identify you from your dental records. Was told that by an air hostess of a prestigious airline before anyone cries nonsense.

Kynthia

Horizon81 wrote: »

Remember the reason they have for the brace position isn't to stop you banging your head on the seat in front, it's so that it helps keep your teeth intact for when they identify you from your dental records. Was told that by an air hostess of a prestigious airline before anyone cries nonsense.

What was the point of posting that? It was irrelevant to the question asked and the current discussion so clearly you are attention seeking. Plus one air hostess telling you that makes it true? Nonsense, how about actual proof as I watched a programme that went into the science behind the brace position and it's effectiveness.

OP I admire your desire to conquer your fear. My OH has developed a fear of flying and has no desire to overcome it which upsets me as it restricts my holidays and visits to family too.

photome

Horizon81 wrote: »

A close friend tried it, multiple sessions in fact. Money for old rope.

To be honest OP, if you have such a fear and history of freaking out on planes, it's best you don't fly. Many people are quietly nervous on planes but don't let on, so seeing someone panicing, crying, and generally being scared doesn't exactly help their situation.

Remember the reason they have for the brace position isn't to stop you banging your head on the seat in front, it's so that it helps keep your teeth intact for when they identify you from your dental records. Was told that by an air hostess of a prestigious airline before anyone cries nonsense.

Hypnosis may help you relax in a given situation.

As you havent tried it I think you should reserve judgement, as for the rest of what you posted!!!!

trolleyrun

Horizon81 wrote: »

A close friend tried it, multiple sessions in fact. Money for old rope.

To be honest OP, if you have such a fear and history of freaking out on planes, it's best you don't fly. Many people are quietly nervous on planes but don't let on, so seeing someone panicing, crying, and generally being scared doesn't exactly help their situation.

Remember the reason they have for the brace position isn't to stop you banging your head on the seat in front, it's so that it helps keep your teeth intact for when they identify you from your dental records. Was told that by an air hostess of a prestigious airline before anyone cries nonsense.

I'm sorry, but you talk nonsense! Any person who is willing to face up their fear is to be admired.

In regards to the brace position, you're wrong there too. The "air hostess of a prestigious airline" lied to you. I'm cabin crew for a prestigious airline and I tell you and anyone else reading that your comment is complete codswallop. The brace position is designed to protect your head and your spine. It's got nothing to do with your teeth. Comments like yours does nothing for someone who is bravely trying to overcome or at least cope with their fear.

OP, if you decide to fly then pat yourself on the back for doing so. It really doesn't matter if you cry or are upset. At least you're doing it which is a great achievement. I've seen hundreds if not thousands of people who are scared of flying in one degree or another. Some are quiet and don't say a word, some are at the opposite end of the scale and some are in the middle. Everyone is an individual and unique. I do wish I could have a chat with you before you go. I think I could help.

pendragon_arther

As Dave Allan once pointed out in his humorous observations of flying the brace position is so you can kiss your !!! goodbye