I'm so scared...

Johnmcl7

I have a terrible fear of injections which over the years has got much worse, like most fears it's not very logical as it's just a small stab and not that big a deal at all. Yet even just going to the reception at the dentist kicked off the fear with the various unique smells and sounds of a dentist and by the time I made it to the actual chair I was pretty much in full panic mode which was just embarrassing.

I reached a point where I needed urgent dental treatment and was in considerable pain so I took valium which I'd been concerned about the potential addictiveness (I know that's just being over the top). I tried out a half dose and didn't think it was working however I realised I was able to relax more when in the chair, after that I had several more follow up treatments and took a half dose of valium each time and managed to make it through each treatment fine.

I was worried the valium would just knock me out of it completely and I'd be entirely unaware of what was going on but it didn't do that at all, I was well aware of what was going on which I think is better because it helps me deal with the fear better. I wouldn't want to go to a dentist without valium but on the other hand, if needs must I think I'd be a lot better than I was before.

I have no problem with air flying (aside from all the hassle either end) but I can easily see why people would be afraid and logical arguments about safety and risk (which I fully agree with) don't necessarily work as the fear just triggers itself and it's hard to stop.

John

Widelats

Voyager2002 wrote: »

For a 'plane crash you have a fifty-fifty chance of survival. I doubt if the odds are that good if something goes badly wrong on Megabus.

LOL. I guess your right.

missbiggles1

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Personally I feel less in control on a coach than on a 'plane. Statistically road transport is much more dangerous, and I find it a good deal more frightening.

Having a phobia about flying isn't totally logical.

Coaches are less claustrophobic than planes, you're more in control and, of course, they're on the ground. I don't think that most people's fears are affected by safety statistics, it's far more primal than that.

trolleyrun

Widelats wrote: »

I too am scared of flying, i have flown and will never fly again, i always hear of some plane crash, emergency landing, or fire from BA the other week, and even the pilot said he will never fly again, so its not a bad thing to not want to fly.

Just to point something out. The Captain on the BA Vegas flight was due to retire. He had one more trip (to Barbados) before retirement. He did not say he'd never fly again - he said his flying career was over, as he was retiring. He did fly to Barbados as a passenger, with his partner, to meet up with his daughter.

Widelats

trolleyrun wrote: »

Just to point something out. The Captain on the BA Vegas flight was due to retire. He had one more trip (to Barbados) before retirement. He did not say he'd never fly again - he said his flying career was over, as he was retiring. He did fly to Barbados as a passenger, with his partner, to meet up with his daughter.

I believed he was scared of the fire, i did not know that.

Goldiegirl

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Personally I feel less in control on a coach than on a 'plane. Statistically road transport is much more dangerous, and I find it a good deal more frightening.

Well, she'd rather be driving the coach..... but I think she feels better because she can see the driver!

trolleyrun

The first step in dealing with a fear of flying is to analyse why you're scared in the first place. Is it turbulence? Lack of control? Media hype? Not understanding why an aircraft flies? Claustrophobia?

There are many reasons why people don't like flying, and if you also have other anxieties it doesn't help.

In those cases of lack of control, here are some facts for you. Pilots are trained extremely well. It takes a minimum of 18months to qualify as a commercial pilot, and that's an intensive 18 months. They have regular medical checks to make sure they're healthy. They have simulator checks and check flights with training pilots several times per year. They have a flight brief before, during and after every flight. They have checklists for everything - to make sure they don't miss anything. There are manuals galore in the flight deck where they can look up every eventuality if need be. I know who I'd rather have behind the controls.

No pilot will depart unless it is safe. Pilots and cabin crew do not have more expensive life insurance nor do they get paid "danger money" - as it's not dangerous to fly.

Do ask to board early so you can have a chat with the pilots. You can visit the flight deck on the ground with the engines off. Ask the gate staff as soon as you get to the gate so they can ask the pilots. They're sometimes quite busy before departure but most will make time for you. Let the cabin crew know as well, and they'll look after you.

Look up some relaxation techniques online and start practicing them as soon as you can. Then it becomes more of a habit and you'll remember to do them at the airport and onboard the aircraft.

If you live fairly near an airport, pop along for a look around before you fly. That way, you can familiarise yourself with the terminal, where check-in is, where security is and just people watch. Have a cup of tea and just sit for a while and watch people going about their business. Have a look to see where the toilets are, chat with uniformed staff if possible. You won't be able to go through security without a boarding card, of course, but you can familiarise yourself with the part of the terminal before security.

I hope this helps a little bit. Feel free to ask questions

trolleyrun

Widelats wrote: »

I believed he was scared of the fire, i did not know that.

This is why the media doesn't help fearful people. The Captain wasn't scared of the fire and he's not scared of flying. Actually, he loves flying so much he wasn't too keen on retiring

pendragon_arther

Horizon81 wrote: »

The obvious answer is don't fly! Hypnotherapy is money for old rope.

You know this from experience or are you just opining through ignorance?

Hypnotherapy is a technique which utilises the unconscious mind to visualize a safe process from preparing to go on the journey all the way to taking off, the duration of the flight and the landing. All the while feelings of calmness and safety are reinforced throughout. By inducing the person into 'waking hypnosis' places the discerning and critical conscious mind to one side so the 'suggestions' are better aimed at the unconscious mind which readily accepts the re-training process.

I have used this technique successfully many times. But you have to ensure the hypnotherapist is a tried and tested and a good one. There are those that practice that are not.

Blackhat5_2

Ignore the requests not to fly: that will only build a phobia.

All kinds of exposure therapy will help: I watched lots and lots of clips on Youtube of flights filmed by enthusiasts out of the plane window. Although these are filmed by aircraft enthusiasts you start to realize that their enthusiasm comes from something truly astonising for all of us: the gift of flight. It will all seem more familiar when you actually board the flight.

You have to spend time thinking of what a fantastic benefit it is to reach places so far away so quickly, and actually what a breathtakingly beautiful thing it can be to look out of that window.

Also remember that in a battle between your imagination and your conscious mind the imagination wins every time. You have to build the discipline not to spend time thinking about the incredibly rare crashes. After all, I bet you don't devote time before every car journey thinking about the horrible possible results of a nasty car crash: no of course not!

And remember if those thoughts come, you can just say to yourself: "that's my silly imagination getting carried away again". Flying is incredibly safe.

I also thoroughly recommend a course called Thrive which is a CBT course by Rob Kelly (though it's not specifically a fear of flying course): you can buy the book or get the book and do the course. Regardless of what it costs, it will save a lot of money in the long run compared to having to do all journeys by train which is usually more expensive and much slower. Thrive concentrates a lot on each person's approach to control, and teaches you how you can change the faulty "programming" which is causing you trouble.