Am I being unreasonable?

VfM4meplse

burlington6 wrote: »

Seriously though. It's too soon. He has a lot going on by the sounds of it and people who mention marriage ( in 2015 ) after a short length of time probably have insecurity and need issues.

I don't agree with this at all. Perhaps it may appLy when you're a teenager, but mature people can judge character well.

cyantist

poorlittlefish wrote: »

Yes, it is. There are set times every day he picks them up and takes them back other than the one day his ex knows he wants to see his new partner. He ends up not knowing where he can take them in case she suddenly wants them home. I have been flexible in waiting for him to let me know what time I should come over but I've decided it's best to stop doing that and let them get on with whatever makes them happy. If he wants to see me and I'm not busy then he can drive to me when he's ready. Thanks all.

If she is possibly being awkward because it interferes with you two spending time together, why does she have to know whether he is seeing you on a Sunday or not? Maybe you're reading too much into the situation and her motives, but if he told her you weren't seeing each other on those days, maybe you'll find she suddenly is more willing to stick to certain times.

justme111

So he is already a "partner" after 3 months and you have not met the kids yet (that's good btw) but involve yourself already in chidcare arrangements ?

Loz01

I would also sack off Sunday BUT I can see how its annoying that your OH's ex dictates the time depending on what she is doing with her new partner, she shouldn't be able to have it all the ways. A set time IS better for everyone.

meritaten

sorry, but I think that for that one day a week, you are going to have to accept you may or may not see him. As you say, his kids come first and if his partner wont make firm arrangements he cant really do anything about it. you see him all weekdays and may have to accept that if you see him on Sunday its a bonus.

Anatidaephobia

Loz01 wrote: »

I would also sack off Sunday BUT I can see how its annoying that your OH's ex dictates the time depending on what she is doing with her new partner, she shouldn't be able to have it all the ways. A set time IS better for everyone.

I don't think we even know for sure that his ex does dictate the time to him. For all we know, if he had made the effort to speak to her about it, she would've readily agreed to a set time and apologised for not realising that the flexible arrangement was causing him problems.

Regardless of what the arrangement is, it is between him and his ex - a girlfriend of three months can't really have a say in it yet, hence why it's best she just takes control of her own life.

bagpussbear

burlington6 wrote: »

Forget the Sunday / Kids issue....you have a far greater problem.

Anyone who mentions marriage after 3 months has serious issues.

Disagree with this - my hubby mentioned marriage within a very short time. If you are lucky enough to meet your soul mate, you tend to know they are the one extremely quickly.

Person_one

bagpussbear wrote: »

Disagree with this - my hubby mentioned marriage within a very short time. If you are lucky enough to meet your soul mate, you tend to know they are the one extremely quickly.

Its amazing really, with 7 billion people on the planet, that so many people are lucky enough that their one and only true soulmate lives in the same country and that they cross paths at all!

I think a lot of new couples think 'this is the one!' in the early days, its that buzz and excitement and surge of hormones. Then the ones where the relationship works out and lasts anyway get to say they were right and that they 'knew' at 3 months.

mgdavid

Person_one wrote: »

Its amazing really, with 7 billion people on the planet, that so many people are lucky enough that their one and only true soulmate lives in the same country and that they cross paths at all! .............

I've thought this for years but never found anyone that agrees with the logic. You must be special, P1 !

Mojisola

Person_one wrote: »

Its amazing really, with 7 billion people on the planet, that so many people are lucky enough that their one and only true soulmate lives in the same country and that they cross paths at all!

My OH and I found that we had been in several different countries round the world at the same time. We just kept missing each other until we eventually met in the UK.

I think a lot of new couples think 'this is the one!' in the early days, its that buzz and excitement and surge of hormones. Then the ones where the relationship works out and lasts anyway get to say they were right and that they 'knew' at 3 months.

This is probably right - but I've never felt the same about anyone else in my life as I did when I saw my OH. I didn't meet him face-to-face, just saw him across a room, and 'knew' that he was the one.