Am I being unreasonable?

dragonette

OP, that seems very sensible. In my opinion, your stance is very commendable though I'm less sure about a bf having a mild strop about not getting all the time with everyone

peachyprice

poorlittlefish wrote: »

If his ex wants to make plans but not commit to a time when she'll be back to collect the children and he's happy with not being able to make plans of his own then I shall just do my own thing and keep well out of it.

This seems to be the point that is bothering you the most, the fact that his ex won't commit to a time. But that is a two way street, and one, if you do stick around, you will come to appreciate because it will work in your favour too.

But yes, you're best knocking Sundays on the head if you're not prepared to be flexible as to what time you see him.

missbiggles1

Why can't he just phone you when he hands the kids back and if you're free you can do something together, if not not. IYSWIM?

poorlittlefish

Yes, it is. There are set times every day he picks them up and takes them back other than the one day his ex knows he wants to see his new partner. He ends up not knowing where he can take them in case she suddenly wants them home. I have been flexible in waiting for him to let me know what time I should come over but I've decided it's best to stop doing that and let them get on with whatever makes them happy. If he wants to see me and I'm not busy then he can drive to me when he's ready. Thanks all.

burlington6

Forget the Sunday / Kids issue....you have a far greater problem.

Anyone who mentions marriage after 3 months has serious issues.

Mojisola

burlington6 wrote: »

Anyone who mentions marriage after 3 months has serious issues.

My OH and I decided to get married after knowing each other for that length of time. Still together, 30+ years later.

burlington6

Mojisola wrote: »

My OH and I decided to get married after knowing each other for that length of time. Still together, 30+ years later.

Maybe you both had problems

Seriously though. It's too soon. He has a lot going on by the sounds of it and people who mention marriage ( in 2015 ) after a short length of time probably have insecurity and need issues.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

My OH and I decided to get married after knowing each other for that length of time. Still together, 30+ years later.

Similar here, but no baggage in terms of children etc.

pickledonionspaceraider

Hi there

You are fairly new to this family dynamic, making demands on the child arrangements to suit yourself - it could real cause issues. I honestly don't mean to sound like I am having a dig as I am not, but your partner has been living with this arrangement for quite some time already I am assuming.

Sometimes ex's relationships are delicate and bearing in mind that his ex, she also deserves 'a life' and your partner does have a lot more free time on his hands already than she does, and he is assisting in bringing up his own children, not babysitting.

If you feel the need for structured plans every Sunday, then maybe your suggestion of having Sunday nights to yourself would be best. If, however, Sunday night to yourself means sitting in front of the television alone (rather than any actual plans) than I don't see the need for things to be so structured and planned out in advance.

I think you should go with the flow - and see where it takes you. Relax, it is only one night a fortnight

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

IF it's actually about her not wanting him to see you, all he has to do is drop it into conversation that he isn't seeing you until Monday. In the same way, when she contacts him early to say she's back, he can reply nicely 'Great, I'll bring them back at teatime - did you want me to feed them or do you want to do it?'. And then keeping to it. I do know the other side of being late is a pain, but he could always suggest he keeps them until Monday morning and drops them off at school in the morning.

He probably feels a bit lonely once he's waved them off, but that doesn't mean you need to wait around for him - it'll be good for him to learn that it's OK to be on his own for a bit.