At what age do you reduce gifts down to normal size.

kazd

Not quite sure how to head this up.

Here is my dilemma.

I have three children and for many years I have saved into what I call gift accounts. I save approx £200 per child for birthdays and £300 for Xmas. When my eldest turned 18 I reduced his Xmas pot to £200 and now my daughter has turned 18 so I am doing the same. I have re-jigged the amount I save for youngest and middle child so that when it comes to their 18th (in the case of the youngest) and 21st there will be enough money in their pots to equal what their elder brother received.

My eldest is 21 in November and he has just treated himself to a rather expensive laptop out of his student loan. He works really hard and is very astute financially in that he started Uni and spent £1k of his savings in the first three to four weeks but since then hasn't touched a penny. He has always managed his money very well and has worked really hard during holidays to earn extra money which has enabled him to manage on his work savings and his allowance from us not to have to work whilst at Uni. This is kind of irrelevant to the dilemma but just giving you a little background.

Anyway the question is at what point do you reduce the amount that you spend on your child. I for example get about £30-£50 spent on me by my mother at birthday's and Christmas.

Also should point out that my kids are now at the age where they quite often ask that the money is kept in their gift accounts until there is something they really want.

Just wondered what other people do.

Alikay

We've never routinely given the large amounts that you have, so our children (21,24 and 27) still get the £40-£50 gifts. We have been very generous on a couple of occasions though, and given them £500 each but this was, well, just because we could afford to, and wanted to do it at that time.

If you want to cut down to a lower amount, just tell them...maybe when each is 22 (as 21 is still seen as a "special" birthday) might be an ideal time to start?

Threebabes

When DS turned 18 we were going to spend less, but he was still doing his alevels and not working. So when he started University, we were going to spend less, but during the summer he was going on holiday so he had half of his xmas money to keep him going, though he has not needed to spend it. He has since got work, and jugging uni. Next year he is definitely getting less. He has enough money to buy what he needs.

When my daughter passes her 18th birthday we will spend less. Same for no.3.

jackieblack

I've reduced the amount I spend on DD as, although she is still a student, my annual income is not that much more than hers

Petra_70

I think 21 is the age that big pressies and big amounts need to stop.

owen_money

At what age do you reduce gifts down to normal size.

Normal size gift? Mine are all 'normal size, a xbox is a xbox size and a phone is a phone size. Why would you give an oversize gift? Why would you want a supersize ipod for instance? I suppose if it was clothes they would last longer as they would be able to grow into them, same with a bike I guess. Odd question though.

Merry 'oversize' Christmas

TBagpuss

Well, in my family gifts were always a normal size, with ocassional larger gifts for specific situations (e.g we all got given money to cover 10 driving lessons, when we turned 17, which was a lot more than the amount which would have been spent on a 'normal' birthday) so there was never any need for a drastic reduction of the kind you're asking about.

However, i think that obvious cut-off points are where the 'child' reaches a specific milestone.
It's up to you what those milestones are.
It could be 18, or 21, or when they leave full time education.

How much do your aduult children spend on you?

s your eldest is coming up to 21 I personally would give him something special for his 21st and let him know that as he is now an adult you will be scaling back

I would tell him, as it sounds as though you children make plans for the money, so it would be unkind to let him find out only at Christmas, or on his next birthday.

Faith177

I was really lucky my mum never put an amount on presents we always got really spoilt at Christmas and Birthdays. She just got us what we wanted and what she could afford some years we got more than others.

We had our last Christmas together last year and we still had a huge stack of presents each I was 28 at the time and my brother 24 she must have spent about £200-300 on us each

It's up to you how you want to spend your money on your children there is no set time in my opinion

Crystallady

I spend what I can afford every year and DS is 27. This year he wanted a special present and was willing for it to be Christmas and Birthday present so have spent £500. However he is our only son and we can afford it which I think is the most important part. I'd rather he had it now when I'm alive to see his enjoyment than save it and he gets it when I'm dead.

comeandgo

Well, I was having the same conversation this morning, should we drop the value of the Christmas gifts as the kids get their "stockings" and a few large gifts, the youngest is 32. I think this is the year to reduce the Christmas value.

pigpen

when they are financially independant