Social situations - is it me?

Poppy9

I'm not a big joiner in just for the sake of it.


When we holiday sometimes we make friends who we keep in touch with and sometimes we just have casual conversations. I think we give out signals to "me, me, me" people as we don't get bothered by them usually.


OH likes to do activities like shooting, archery if available on holiday and he enjoys spending a few hours with the other men (women rarely do it). Last year there were a lot of Germans in the hotel and they normally keep to themselves but he said they were very friendly during activities and in passing but they not interested in having dinner with you.


I dislike getting stuck with a couple who hang on but I have met people who we have holidayed again with the following year. We did on understanding we didn't do everything together i.e we were 3 families and men went racing, kids went to water park and the two other women went shopping. I stayed by pool with my book! It was nice not to feel obligated to join in.


You just need to spot the braggers. It's usually quite easy as you will see them trying to talk to everyone and people looking bored and uncomfortable! Look for people genuinely laughing if you want people to pass the time of day with. Don't be put off if they are not in same age bracket as you.

PenguinOfDeath

Haha, this is me too! I much prefer listening and observing than talk talk talking, especially with strangers. This thread reminds me why we don't tend to socialise with people or go to the same places on holiday, too many nutters!

I remember being introduced to a friend of a friend who after 5 minutes it became clear he was the sort of person who had done everything earlier, more times, better and more expensively than you had. He did ask if I was into watches, I replied no not really, he took that as a sign to jabber on about his Rolex collection for the next 20 minutes, or until I 'needed to powder my nose'

squirrelchops wrote: »

I remember at a wedding being sat next to a woman and her partner. She asked if I had children and when I replied 'no' she had a look of panic in her eyes and sought out others at the table to talk to who did! I am sorry but did my lack of having a used womb make me a lower being then???

That was more than likely her being so absorbed in her parental life that she struggled to associate with anyone not in the same position. Definitely her and not you!

gettingtheresometime

This reminds me of two couples we had the misfortune to share a table with on a mini cruise earlier this year.

Basically the conversation started off nice enough but then turned into a p!ssing contest between the 2 couples as to who had been on the best cruise in the past. I could sense OH was getting fed up as he kept very quiet.

It was a relief to leave the table.

squirrelchops

Thank you all for your words of kindness, wisdom and life experience. Who knows what makes other people behave the way they do - I leave that to the psychologists but I usually can muster up a theory or two of my own!

It has made me realise I need to broaden my social network. We have just moved to where OH grew up so he has friends and family here whereas I don't. Add in a new job too and things have been quite an upheavel - maybe that has what led to this bit of over thinking on my part. Being a 'doer' I got a leaflet earlier for yoga so hopefully a new hobby and some grounding will aid me in meeting like minded people.

Anatidaephobia

Sounds like you're an active listener and they were self absorbed - when the two meet, you end up with a conversation like the one you had to endure!

I'm always amazed by the number of people who behave like this and clearly have no awareness of the situation. Sometimes even people who you wouldn't expect this from will morph into self absorbed mode if you show interest in them and ask a few follow up questions to something they've said.