Gifted Children

susancs

ManofLeisure wrote: »

''Gifted Child'' is never a label I would have wished to bestow upon any of my four children. They each had their own unique personality and abilities, and loved for whom they were and not what they could achieve. It is one thing to ''encourage'' a child and yet another to put them up on a pedestal, believing them to be some how better than the rest. Well, that's my opinion and I'm sure many will disagree

As a mother whose now 18 year old DD was labelled as gifted and talented in reception class, I totally agree with you. DD was always academically able and naturally able to facilitate her own learning with very little adult encouragement, but it was only a small part of her. I hated the label and was always keen to point out to her that other children were gifted at other things such as being a kind and caring friend, speedy runner, fabulous artist, hardworker, great singer, great listener, lovely big brother etc. At primary school parents evening I think her teachers were always bemused when all I wanted to talk about was how she was doing socially and as a member of the class team. I always just wanted a well rounded child who did not consider themselves superior because of one aspect of their development.

onomatopoeia99

Person_one wrote: »

Unless you've got a real outlier (Mozart, Einstein which is highly unlikely!) then people who work in education are usually more than capable of managing the natural differences in ability.

My experience of education before secondary school is entirely different. I was so far advanced compared to the other children in my year group that I was bored silly. Really, how many times can one be set long multiplication and long division tasks between ages 8 and 12? Every time I did them all, without error, but still the came back with more. My teacher managed my different ability by making me sit at my own at the front of the class so I didn't distract my friends by talking to them when I had finished the set work in half the time it was taking them. The teacher in my final year there told me I was "too cocky for my own good" and would be "taken down a peg or two" when I went to secondary school and found myself in the middle of the class.

Secondary school was better, as I lived in a county that defied government policy and retained selective education, so I went to a grammar school. I was still top of the class in maths and sciences though (and curiously foreign languages as well, which I have no talent for at all), but at least I was having to work at it a bit and we were learning new things after what felt like eight years of educationally treading water. I did S levels in parallel with my A levels, not because I needed them for university entrance, but because I wanted to do something harder.

Ignoring the needs of a child who is academically capable to "let them be a child" risks making them a disruptive influence like I was and losing interest in school as they aren't being challenged. If they want to learn they should be encouraged.

silly_moo

Lots of good advice, thanks everyone. Especially Serendipitious who gave me some new ideas to try. We'll engage my son more in cooking, weighing etc. So far he was only helping with mixing but we kept him away from the scales.

Savvy_Sue - you're totally right about this:

It was pointed out to me that sometimes very bright children think they know things without having fully grasped them, so it doesn't necessarily hurt to go over them, perhaps in different ways at different times. Plus, it's essential that he learns to get along with other children, and understands that just because they don't grasp some things as quickly as he does it doesn't mean he's better than they are in any way.

FBaby - you make a valid point, I never thought about this. Regardless of what the nursery say or don't say I still think he's advanced for his age. Certainly not a genius but still clever.

Ognum - we do read lots of books together. He has known the alphabet for ages and has taught himself a few words that he can read and gets excited whenever he spots them somewhere but I have no idea how to teach him to read. I think reading in English is quite a challenge are there are no clear cut pronunciation rules.

Summerspring - I did hear some stories about children who could read and write that went to school and were told to draw shapes and go back to the basics. He still has two years before he goes to school luckily so we don't need to worry about this just now.

And finally Nicki, I think you are being a little unfair. I think that even at 3 you can tell if a child is particularly good in a certain area and I don't think we are making "ridiculous demands" by encouraging him to develop his skills through play - unless you think we tie him to a chair every night and make him do sums and practice spelling? . I do admit your point re personality and confidence and social skills is valid but these can be developed simultaneously with his literacy and numeracy skills.

FBaby

I think we are going to the other way around now. It is not because you are academically able that you don't work hard and persevere, you can do so just as much as those less able.

I believe that every children have some kind of gift, it is just that for some, it is more obvious than others. My two happen to be academically able, it would seem because they accumulate an ability to process information quickly and have an excellent memory that allow them to retain it. It's a skill, nothing else, and one that they should definitely use to their advantage.

Some skills are not so obvious. One of my friends gets anxious because her DD doesn't do so well at school. However, she totally amazed me recently by organising a fund-raising event and selling cakes. Her organisation skills, but more importantly the way she approached people to encourage them to buy the cakes was incredible. She seemed totally in her element (my two would have felt quite shy at approaching strangers at that age) and it was clear that it came to her naturally. It just needed her to be given the chance to show it in a different environment to normal school assignments . I hope she does something with that skill as she gets older.

silly_moo

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Ignoring the needs of a child who is academically capable to "let them be a child" risks making them a disruptive influence like I was and losing interest in school as they aren't being challenged. If they want to learn they should be encouraged.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences onomatopoeia99. This was just my thinking when I asked for support - that he needs to be challenged and encouraged. This does not mean I'm not letting him be a child.

Person_one

Gosh, so many gifted people and parents of gifted children just on this little forum! What are the odds?

FBaby

I think that even at 3 you can tell if a child is particularly good in a certain area and I don't think we are making "ridiculous demands" by encouraging him to develop his skills through play -

I agree with this. I now remember this infant toy that my kids had when you put object shapes in the same shape box, and both mine graps this at a very early age without trial and error. They took the object, looked at it and in the right one it went first time. I never thought anything of it until I saw other kids quite a few months older taking so much longer to grasp the concept. I realised then that even under the age of 18 months, they were showing an ability to process information at a quicker pace than average.

FBaby

Person_one wrote: »

Gosh, so many gifted people and parents of gifted children just on this little forum! What are the odds?

Or just that you are more likely to respond to this thread if you happen to have experience of the subject matter!

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

Or just that you are more likely to respond to this thread if you happen to have experience of the subject matter!

Well maybe, or maybe just a bit of very human showing off?

I don't wish to be harsh, genuinely, but it always amuses me the way these threads go. It's exactly the same if there's a thread about reading early or similar, so many prodigies!

FBaby

Well maybe, or maybe just a bit of very human showing off?

But it is this attitude that makes it difficult for parents of G&T kids to talk about it because there is always this feeling that people are going to think we are just boasting. I don't have a doubt that there are some parents who are convinced they have a G&T child when they are only slightly more clever than average, but there are also many G&T kids whose parents have no interest in boasting.

Having been through many parent's evenings and school reports, I now feel more at ease mentioning it because their results speak for themselves but I did feel almost shameful to say anything about their accomplishments before because of that perception.