Gifted Children

silly_moo

Can anyone recommend support groups/forums for parents of gifted children? My 3yo is clever beyond his age (not a genius but cleverer than most kids his age) and we don't want to waste his potential.

He started pre-school a month ago and we've spoken to the staff who promised to keep an eye on him and give him more difficult tasks but to be honest I'm not sure how this is going to work with all the other kids in the group. From what they've been telling us it doesn't look like he is really being challenged - they do seem to be setting him more difficult tasks but these are still below his capabilities (although maybe it's our fault as we didn't tell them about everything that he can do thinking they would soon discover it anyway).

I have kept really quiet about this with my friends as they all have kids at similar age and I don't want to sound like I'm boasting but could really do with some advice and support.

Thanks.

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pinkshoes

Private school or just make sure you keep him stimulated at home.

Kids should just be left to be kids. I have a very bright 4 year old but we focus on play - mud pies, worms and bugs, bike rides. Bright kids just need constant stimulation to stop them getting bored!

notanewuser

Boarding school immediately. Get him working on his GCSE subjects now. A levels by 6 and PhD by 13.

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Just let him be 3. If he's gifted in certain things that won't change. Hot housing him is the worst thing you could do.

Savvy_Sue

If he is happy at pre-school, can't you leave him be and do the stretching / more difficult stuff at home, if he wants to?

What in particular do you think he's gifted at? Very few are brilliant all-rounders.

duchy

Nursery attached to private schools tend to start at three so if you are intending to send your child to private school at 5 anyway- this would be a good option as there is more academic focus. However if you are intending to send your child to a state primary school this would be a bit of a waste of money.

If a child is bright and has parents who work to encourage and stimulate them then they will thrive. I'm not really sure what you expect nursery to do that you can't do at home and better as you can give one to one support. Nursery is about socialization not hothousing.

vulpix

My son was very bright at your son's age.He is 24 now with an Oxford 1st under his belt.

My main concern for him was always social skills.

We were recommended a gifted and talented club by his Y1 teacher.Believe you me there were some oddbods there.It is all very well to be clever but if you cannot hold a conversation how can you get on in life.It did do my son good as he met his intellectual match so to speak.Children his age and younger who were cleverer than him.(same at Oxford)

I cannot remember the scheme later on it was NAGTY but I think that is no more.There may be other schemes these days.

You can stretch his mind at home,He needs to learn how to get on with his peers and other social skills at Nursery.

Good Luck Vx

candlelight_2013

All 3 of my grandchildren were given the title of "gifted and talented" by the authorities.

Please let him be a 3 year old, as said let him develope social skills and make friends with others in the nursery. There is plenty of time later to stimulate him. My Grandchildren were given access at home to musical instruments, computers and anything else their parents thought would help them, but not at 3 years old.

The other children will notice if he is being treated differently and they won't understand.

I understand you must be very proud of him, but let him be a child without the burden of always having to learn. Children actually learn by playing, make everything fun for him.

Candlelightx

FBaby

It's not because he is showing abilities now that you have to push him to the max. At 3, what is most important is to developed his social skills so that he can mix with friends and feel happy in his environment.

Also, you will have to respect that it is not because he is very clever that he will be ambitious. You can use high intelligence in different ways, so what is important is to match his needs. Is HE asking to be stimulated more, is he bored, unhappy?

I was told that DD was G&T by her nursery manager when she was 3/4 and she asked if I minded if she started to read with her. I said ok, but I didn't want her to be so advanced that she would start reception class already way ahead and bored, so we agreed to only a few lessons if she enjoyed them.

At primary school, it didn't take long for teachers to recognise her ability and they all did a very good job giving her extra work and challenging her. It took a bit longer at secondary school, but she still got teachers to give her more work, get her to sign up to national challenges, do college work etc...

Has she been challenged to her absolute full potential? Probably not, but despite being top of the class and teased for it in a friendly way, she is very popular and has a fantastic social life. She is well adjusted and happy to be a typical 15yo and to me, that's as important as her intellect being used. She has very ambitious plans for her career, and I have no reason to think she won't get there.

DS is also considered G&T, but having been through it with DD, I am much more relaxed about it and not so involved with his school life. Like her, he is well integrated and has made many friends, despite coming top in most exams. He's happy and that's what matters.

Clever kids can easily be teased and picked on, especially if they are not great at mixing socially, so be careful with how you want to set him up to be different at such an early age.

meer53

The staff at pre school will have had parents who have made similar comments about their child being "gifted" He's only been there a month, if you still feel he needs to be given special treatment after he's been there a couple of terms, the staff will notice. Now isn't the time to be pushing him or the pre school staff, let him settle in and enjoy himself.

I'm with the others, 3 year olds all have differing levels of ability, just let him play and socialise, thats what pre school is for. You should be doing the other stuff yourself at home.

silly_moo

Thanks for all your answers.

Just to clarify: we do not intend to push him to the max or start schooling early. But it would be a shame to waste the potential so we want to keep him motivated though play and are running out of ideas. I know it's not nursery's duty to teach him but cannot feel frustrated when they say "we were counting to 5 today and your son did really well".

Savvy_Sue - he's particularly good at numbers and letters, and has an excellent memory. He seems to absorb everything in and can remember things that happened months ago.

Just now we play "numbers games" which he loves (basic addition and subtraction to 1000) and he has a few sets of wooden letters that he plays with to make up simple words. We also play word games where we take turns to list as many things of a kind as we can or list animals etc starting with A, then B etc. It's my son who instigates these and he always chooses what we're doing today (animals, trees, windows, trucks etc). We started this game months ago with colours and believe me, I had to go onto Wikipedia to learn more colours as was running out of ideas what to say (he remembers what was said before so you can't cheat by saying the same thing twice).

Fen1

Do you have access to any foreign language groups or friends? Early childhood is the best time to absorb new languages, and as your son loves words and patterns he might very much enjoy it. It would also be highly beneficial in later life.
There is so much available on the internet now: programs, games, radio, books. Start with a language that you or OH remember from school, perhaps French or German? Build on what you already know, e.g. your 'making lists' game can have a new dimension of alternating English words with French/German/Spanish.