Gifted Children

ManofLeisure_2

''Gifted Child'' is never a label I would have wished to bestow upon any of my four children. They each had their own unique personality and abilities, and loved for whom they were and not what they could achieve. It is one thing to ''encourage'' a child and yet another to put them up on a pedestal, believing them to be some how better than the rest. Well, that's my opinion and I'm sure many will disagree

Mojisola

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

One boy in our NCT group for example was always good with Lego and building things. He was years ahead of the rest at this, though he has never been considered academically 'gifted.'

ManofLeisure wrote: »

''Gifted Child'' is never a label I would have wished to bestow upon any of my four children. They each had their own unique personality and abilities, and loved for whom they were and not what they could achieve.

It is one thing to ''encourage'' a child and yet another to put them up on a pedestal, believing them to be some how better than the rest. Well, that's my opinion and I'm sure many will disagree

I don't know why it's only when a child seems to be academically gifted that extra attention is given to them. We would be a far more successful society if we encouraged the children who excel in any area.

I know quite a few very 'clever' people who are totally incompetent doing anything other than academic studies.

FBaby

The nursery keep praising him for being really clever and keep mentioning all the little things he can do that are beyond his age. When he was just two the nursery said he knows more about letters and numbers than most of their pre-schoolers.

Just to comment on this, especially as I think you said that you come from another country. The British system is very focused on praising children, so all what you quoted above, I have heard being told to many children of all abilities.

I remember when DD started swimming lessons, the swimming school lead came to me to say he wanted a word, took me aside, and told me very seriously that he though DD had great potential swimming and that he would be keeping an eye on her as he would want her to move to the next group asap. I left feeling very proud and believing that indeed, DD was special and started imagining her signing up for the olympics, until I mentioned it to another mum who said he had said the same to her about her daughter and then again to another mum!!

I think it was half over-exaggerating ability of those who were just very good, and incredibly skills in selling.

peachyprice

lulalola wrote: »

I also developed a massive anxiety to always get things right and be the best

Similar happened to my G&T son.

He go so stressed over everyone always expecting him to get it right/be the best that he gave up trying for fear of getting it wrong. This wasn't pressure from me I might add, I never pressured him or pushed him, but it was from teachers at school. The whole G&T programme did nothing for him in the long run.

Funnily enough, my youngest has never been selected as G&T but has worked her little heart out from being a 'behind everyone else' summer baby in Y1 to finally making it into top sets in all subjects in Y10. Looking back and comparing her grades now to my sons at the same age she's right up there with him, but with no pressure to perform I think she'll fare much better.

Be careful what you wish for your child, is all I would say, it can backfire horribly.

summerspring

Getting back to the OP.. what about music? You say he is good at maths. Maths and music go together. He might enjoy learning an instrument or something like that? Piano, perhaps?


And don't worry about some of the replies on here it always ruffles other mums feathers to hear that someone else's child is gifted!

notanewuser

summerspring wrote: »

Getting back to the OP.. what about music? You say he is good at maths. Maths and music go together. He might enjoy learning an instrument or something like that? Piano, perhaps?

Not ideal at 3 to be honest.

ognum

I would suggest you work with him to start reading. I would not ever say my children were 'gifted' but my daughter was reading fluently at 3. We simply sat together and read books and she picked it up.

I have had connections with a technology company who employs many very very bright people, all with firsts, PhD etc and many of them even as adults have poor social skills so I also would advise doing the extra things at a young age. Mixing and playing with other children, sports classes etc.

Nicki

summerspring wrote: »

Getting back to the OP.. what about music? You say he is good at maths. Maths and music go together. He might enjoy learning an instrument or something like that? Piano, perhaps?


And don't worry about some of the replies on here it always ruffles other mums feathers to hear that someone else's child is gifted!

I think experienced and level headed parents know that you just can't tell whether your child is gifted at the age of 3, as kids of this age meet their milestones at slightly different times and mature differently. If her child was head and shoulders above his peer group at age 5 or 6 that would be more significant.

At age 3 children should be learning through play anyway and formal teaching and hothousing academic skills is ridiculous. Social skills are way more important and will stand the child in far greater stead, as will providing a range of experiences not just academic, such as sporting, practical and cultural. To be frank, the child's future university place and career will be affected not one jot by his nursery education though his personality and confidence and social skills could be.

And less it is thought I am one of those parents with a chip on their shoulder, my own eldest was identified as G and T from the beginning of his primary school education and has been all the way up to now with no ridiculous home demands being made of him or the school when he was 3

Savvy_Sue

ManofLeisure wrote: »

''Gifted Child'' is never a label I would have wished to bestow upon any of my four children. They each had their own unique personality and abilities, and loved for whom they were and not what they could achieve. It is one thing to ''encourage'' a child and yet another to put them up on a pedestal, believing them to be some how better than the rest. Well, that's my opinion and I'm sure many will disagree

DS3 would agree with you, and when he was 'invited' to join NAGTY by the school he was quite rude on why he wanted to join, because he didn't ... and he refused to do any extension activities out of school.

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't know why it's only when a child seems to be academically gifted that extra attention is given to them. We would be a far more successful society if we encouraged the children who excel in any area.

I know quite a few very 'clever' people who are totally incompetent doing anything other than academic studies.

Agree!

peachyprice wrote: »

Funnily enough, my youngest has never been selected as G&T but has worked her little heart out from being a 'behind everyone else' summer baby in Y1 to finally making it into top sets in all subjects in Y10.

And this reminds me of a friend whose comment on her DD's final primary school report was that given how complimentary her teachers were about her, with many comments about how hard she had worked throughout her time at the school, it was a shame that this had never been recognised by a head teacher's award while she was still there.

I met the boys' head teacher not long ago and mentioned that DS3 had graduated that summer and was now doing a PhD. He said how pleased he was, because "he could have gone either way, couldn't he?" And I knew exactly what he meant. But he went on to say that he had more admiration for the children who'd had to work very hard to overcome difficulties like dyslexia.

susancs

peachyprice wrote: »

Funnily enough, my youngest has never been selected as G&T but has worked her little heart out from being a 'behind everyone else' summer baby in Y1 to finally making it into top sets in all subjects in Y10. Looking back and comparing her grades now to my sons at the same age she's right up there with him, but with no pressure to perform I think she'll fare much better.

Off topic, but just had to say well done to your DD. My DDs headteacher always says that hardwork and perserverance is more important and gets pupils further than just having a natural ability.